Aesthetics have always played a major role in my quest to become a better athlete. On the surface, this may seem a ridiculously vain assertion, but for me, the reality is that looking like a pro makes me feel like a pro, and when I feel like a pro, I’m motivated to ride like a pro. After all, the mind controls the body, and if the mind believes something, it can shove it right down your body’s throat. This phenomenon plays a big part of why I love riding in weather that merits knee warmers, cycling caps, and shoe covers; when my head drops down in a swoon of agony, the sight of my flahute-looking legs and feet, framed by the water dripping from the brim of my cycling cap helps me find the motivation to lift the pace a bit more.
Central to this quest of looking Pro is the ability to look good when you place objects on your head, like helmets or cycling caps*. It’s actually quite easy to look good in these things, provided you follow a simple set of guidelines, known as The Three-Point System. Many people simply plop a piece of head wear on their heads without regard for how it is positioned on their orb-like noggins, and with little appreciation of how entirely idiotic it might make them look. Seemingly innocent mistakes such as placing it askew or tilted backward being the most common breaches of good taste, the most egregious allowing hair to be visible between the forehead and said head wear.
The Three-Point system was devised out of necessity when I was in high school on the Nordic ski team. A ski hat being perhaps the most difficult hat to look good in, my fellow teammates would commonly pull theirs down over their head to cover their ears, and would happily go about their business completely unaware that they looked as though they had an unfortunate encounter with a large woolen and overripe fruit. Through an iterative process of counseling and advising them on what adjustments to make to position the hat correctly, I stumbled upon this standardization which seems to almost universally yield Awesome results.
There are three main contact points on the head that contribute to looking fantastic while wearing something fundamentally ugly on your head: the eyebrows, the tips of the ears, and the nape of the neck. (In this case, the nape is referred to as the point where the skull meets the neck, not the hairline.)
Point 1: The Eyebrows. Your forehead is your enemy when it comes to looking cool in hats or helmets. You know who rides around with a big swath of exposed frontal cranium? The guy in the YJA, riding in the Sit Up and Beg Position, that’s who. Keep this gap to a minimum at all times; helmets and backwards cycling caps should be worn close to the eyebrows and expose no more than a centimeter of forehead, as demonstrated by Der Kaiser and Il Priata. A forwards-facing cycling cap should have the lowest point of the brim intersect with the horizontal line connecting both eyebrows, as demonstrated by the late Franco Ballerini.
Point 2: The Ears. Consider the ears the pivot point of your head wear. Keep your shit level and close to the ears; helmets and caps are to be worn just above the ear, winter hats should cover just the tips of your ear.
Point 3: The Nape of the Neck. Under no circumstances – ever, no matter what – is any part of your head wear to wander down below this threshold. EVER. With modern helmets, the cranial locking mechanism should secure around this part of your melon; a cycling cap or ski hat should flirt with the upper reaches of this area.
As if you needed any further convincing, I leave you with some examples of the proper execution of the Three-Point system, along with some tragic failures.
[dmalbum path=”/velominati.com/content/Photo Galleries/frank@velominati.com/Three Point System/”/]
*Obviously, this is only applicable within the parameters as laid out by Rule #22.
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@michael
Got to take issue with that. I think it has much, much more to do with ritual. It is easy, in a largely secular world, to assume that ritual is of the past. But it's a wrong assumption. Though I don't want to sound like a proselytising evolutionary psychologist (there's a whole methodologtical / epistemological debate there which doesn't belong here), I think we are hard-wired to be drawn to ritual, as a part of our make-up as social animals. Like I say, tribal affiliation. The content of the rules which define and sustain the ritual is less important than the fact of them. (With the exception, of course, of The Rules, which are a sacred canon ...)
@Ron
So long as you take it off the instant you remove your helmet, you're gold. My VMH wears one of those, although I opt for a winter cycling cap under my lid when the weather warrants it's use.
@michael
I have actually been diagnosed with OCD. Not to the point that I have to turn the lights on 7 times when I walk in a room, but to the point that I become physically uncomfortable when things are not "right". I like to think it's "just the right amount" to make me good at my craft and my work, but it's hard to be objective about yourself. On the other hand, my VMH, upon reading your comment, asked in all seriousness, "Oh, do you and Michael know eachother?"
@G'phant
Oh I was just talking, seeing who would take the bait.
I've not been diagnosed with much but general anxiety disorder, but I'm sure I've got one part OCPD, one part autism, one part oppositional defiant disorder, one part addictive personality. It's a wonder I can get out of the house to ride at all.
@frank
I think many people attracted to cycling fit within a general personality type, I would guess in general we are smarter than average, creative, prone to depression and anxiety, sometimes socially inept, don't make great subordinates, etc. This explains why there are so many tools in the shed as well as people we get along perfectly well with.
@G'phant @frank @michael
Have to agree with G'phant on this one: a very articulate comment about the enduring role of ritual in what otherwise appears to be a post-ritual world. At the end of the day, I just like to ride.
And I really don't buy the general personality type; type-casting is problematic on a bunch of levels. Jean Bobet described thinking as a disadvantage for the cyclist (cogito ergo sunk, as he put it). Or, better yet: drop by the next chess tournament in your area. You could be describing the room full of hygiene-challenged, belt-loop-missing, folks playing the royal game.
@Steampunk
"Cogito ergo sunk". Brilliant. Refer Frank's piece on "the perfect amount of dumb".
You don't have to buy the personality type thing, you just have to be in the business and industry long enough and you will simply come to understand.
Cool, thanks for the reply.
What type of winter cap are you utilizing?
In the summer I don't wear anything under my helmet. In the fall I wear a regular ol' cycling cap. In the winter (sub 35* or so) I wear a Castelli cap that has a...nape cover...the horror!) I know, I know.
Some I'm asking, is there another option that can keep me warm enough to ride in cold temps AND look fucking awesome doing it?
I've seen the caps that are heavier and have fold-down ear flaps, but I doubt these would fit under a snug, well-fitting helmet.
What are you using, Rule Maker?
@frank
Not to worry, Frank, I've got some sweet Castelli socks all teed up, and a pair of black Giro Zeros already ear-marked for the SG. And I actually own two of the same model of helmet, one red/white, one black/white so I can match different kits. V-Socks would be cool, but I know the minimums on socks.
@G'phant
Couldn't resist, buddy. Glad you appreciated.
@All
I'm a pretty recent convert to shaving, for me it ended up being (as G'phant says) about tribal identity. If I'm out in a group, or solo, I want fellow tribe members to distinguish me as a committed cyclist. Plus the "look good, feel good, go good" applies as well.
I was thinking the same thing. I'm a bit guilty of this on the bike myself and find I ride best when I've cleared my mind.