Aesthetics have always played a major role in my quest to become a better athlete. On the surface, this may seem a ridiculously vain assertion, but for me, the reality is that looking like a pro makes me feel like a pro, and when I feel like a pro, I’m motivated to ride like a pro. After all, the mind controls the body, and if the mind believes something, it can shove it right down your body’s throat. This phenomenon plays a big part of why I love riding in weather that merits knee warmers, cycling caps, and shoe covers; when my head drops down in a swoon of agony, the sight of my flahute-looking legs and feet, framed by the water dripping from the brim of my cycling cap helps me find the motivation to lift the pace a bit more.
Central to this quest of looking Pro is the ability to look good when you place objects on your head, like helmets or cycling caps*. It’s actually quite easy to look good in these things, provided you follow a simple set of guidelines, known as The Three-Point System. Many people simply plop a piece of head wear on their heads without regard for how it is positioned on their orb-like noggins, and with little appreciation of how entirely idiotic it might make them look. Seemingly innocent mistakes such as placing it askew or tilted backward being the most common breaches of good taste, the most egregious allowing hair to be visible between the forehead and said head wear.
The Three-Point system was devised out of necessity when I was in high school on the Nordic ski team. A ski hat being perhaps the most difficult hat to look good in, my fellow teammates would commonly pull theirs down over their head to cover their ears, and would happily go about their business completely unaware that they looked as though they had an unfortunate encounter with a large woolen and overripe fruit. Through an iterative process of counseling and advising them on what adjustments to make to position the hat correctly, I stumbled upon this standardization which seems to almost universally yield Awesome results.
There are three main contact points on the head that contribute to looking fantastic while wearing something fundamentally ugly on your head: the eyebrows, the tips of the ears, and the nape of the neck. (In this case, the nape is referred to as the point where the skull meets the neck, not the hairline.)
Point 1: The Eyebrows. Your forehead is your enemy when it comes to looking cool in hats or helmets. You know who rides around with a big swath of exposed frontal cranium? The guy in the YJA, riding in the Sit Up and Beg Position, that’s who. Keep this gap to a minimum at all times; helmets and backwards cycling caps should be worn close to the eyebrows and expose no more than a centimeter of forehead, as demonstrated by Der Kaiser and Il Priata. A forwards-facing cycling cap should have the lowest point of the brim intersect with the horizontal line connecting both eyebrows, as demonstrated by the late Franco Ballerini.
Point 2: The Ears. Consider the ears the pivot point of your head wear. Keep your shit level and close to the ears; helmets and caps are to be worn just above the ear, winter hats should cover just the tips of your ear.
Point 3: The Nape of the Neck. Under no circumstances – ever, no matter what – is any part of your head wear to wander down below this threshold. EVER. With modern helmets, the cranial locking mechanism should secure around this part of your melon; a cycling cap or ski hat should flirt with the upper reaches of this area.
As if you needed any further convincing, I leave you with some examples of the proper execution of the Three-Point system, along with some tragic failures.
[dmalbum path=”/velominati.com/content/Photo Galleries/frank@velominati.com/Three Point System/”/]
*Obviously, this is only applicable within the parameters as laid out by Rule #22.
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@all
Regarding the leg shaving (I love how sidetracked the topics get here), aren't you all doing it to shave 0.0001 seconds off your time? That's the reason I do it.
Actually, I've shaved my legs for so long, at this point, I can't climb on a bike with even stubble showing. It's uncomfortable, as Michael points out, under knickers and leggings, and it's even uncomfortable under the leg grippers of the bibs. It's uncomfortable flapping in the wind.
But, I started because it looks fucking PRO.
I started shaving when I became a part-time expat bachelor a few years ago. My wife doesn't like it but as I spend more time on my bike than with her we had to get the priorities straight.
Now I am definitely not a hairy man - I don't even have a snail trail. So when I mentioned I had started shaving my friends said they thought I already did.
Which was good that they thought I was already part of the tribe (it's definitely an allegiance thing) but at the same time slightly injurious to my sense of virility.
Wow, you guys are wearing just a regular cap at around freezing and below? Maybe the rest of my body isn't protected enough. I ride in cold temps, but usually need to put on a skull cap of some sort.
I actually hadn't heard of the Icebreaker stuff but have tracked down a merino wool beanie they make. Are you pulling it over your ears or leaving them out?
Steampunk - seems as if you go ears out all the time. I guess it is time for me to repeat my Hardman training course, eh?
Any of you using the "winter" cycling caps, the insulated ones with ear flaps? Those look nice, but I can't imagine they'll fit under a helmet.
As a nude nut, I have always worn something under my helmet. When I started out mtn biking it was a bandanna, for some years now its been a cotton cap. This is even when its hot - otherwise the sweat tends to pur straight down into my eyes. When it gets a bit colder, I've a Sugoi Wallaroo 290 Cycling Cap which is so much more awesome than the microfleece beanie it replaced, including because it has a brim. Best winter glove: SealSkinz ultra gip.
Um, no. I shave to highlight the musculature of the BFGs, which is usually enough to break the will of other cyclists. That's worth way more than the 0.0001 second savings you're talking about.
@Ron
While it's fun to cite Rule V, I'm sure this is also a physiological thing; I have a much higher comfort threshold for cold temperatures than I do for hot temperatures.
@Ron
I have 3 of the beanies. 2 can cover most of the ears if I want them to. The other can't, and that's the one I prefer. They also make some thicker ones, which are too bulky. The ones I have are quite thin.
What S'punk said.
Couple of things. I've read the Pantani book and I'm pretty sure he had surgery to pin back the ears. The pics on the book prove it - hard core adherence to the rules, I'd say.
Also, I live in WI and ride in 20 + degree weather (not factoring in wind chill.) Damn right I cover my ears and wear a gator on my neck. If someone has a problem with this (while no doubt riding in their warm car) I'd suggest reading rule #5 which by riding outside I believe I'm in full compliance with. 10,000 km seasons don't come easy in WI if you just ride when the temperate is above 60 degrees.
Nicely said, nicely done. My variant includes copious amounts of sunscreen over the head pantani style. The forest is a little thin, and hours dishing the V gives me special precancerous coloring in places I'd prefer to protect.