Categories: Awesome Belgian GuysBelgian AffirmationsFolkloreLook ProNostalgiaThe HardmenTradition

Look Pro: The Flemish Compact

Everyone knows that the quality of one’s character is measured by the size gear they can push, particularly when going uphill. It is also a well-established fact that no self-respecting Flemish Pro would ever ride a Compact, no matter what condition their knees are in or how ferocious the gradient. Which, by extension, means that Compacts are for sissies. In fact, a true Flandrian would rather lose their national race than ride a Sissy Gear.

The first time we rode with Johan Museeuw, we were shocked to find him aboard one of his carbon/flax race machines – and a compact chainset. Not wanting to offend an Apostle by suggesting he’s riding his son’s bike, I asked him what he thought of it. “I don’t like it. The big ring isn’t big enough for climbing.”

The standard Flemish chainset is – and has been for as long as the Ancients have tracked these details in their sacred scrolls – either a 53T or 52T outer ring paired to a 42T inner ring. On the occasions when the parcours will see them scaling the Koppenberg or Kapelmuur, the Belgians make a concession and dust off their trusty 41T inner ring in order to shorten the gear by a whopping single tooth. In the mountains or over in Wallonia (the land of savages) where they are far from the prying eyes of their proud public, the Flemish hardman may allow his mechanic to bolt on a lowly 39T ring, so long as no one brings it up at the dinner table. (It is worth noting that in Cyclocross it is standard practice to ride a 38T inner ring.)

Museeuw has never been a grimpeur, not when he was a Pro and not now. On Keepers Tour 2013, we had the opportunity to do several more rides with him, one of which was over the roads of Liege-Bastogne-Liege. It was customary for him to suggest alternate routes that avoided the steep hills, and so it was that he tried to talk us out of riding the Stockeu. We rode up side-by-side, taking our time. As we alternated between pedaling and doing track stands, he asked if I was riding a compact. I feigned a combination of exasperation and insult at such a question and told him it was a Flemish Compact.

“Oh, a 39? Goed.”

[dmalbum path=”/velominati.com/content/Photo Galleries/frank@velominati.com/Belgian Compact/”/]

frank

The founder of Velominati and curator of The Rules, Frank was born in the Dutch colonies of Minnesota. His boundless physical talents are carefully canceled out by his equally boundless enthusiasm for drinking. Coffee, beer, wine, if it’s in a container, he will enjoy it, a lot of it. He currently lives in Seattle. He loves riding in the rain and scheduling visits with the Man with the Hammer just to be reminded of the privilege it is to feel completely depleted. He holds down a technology job the description of which no-one really understands and his interests outside of Cycling and drinking are Cycling and drinking. As devoted aesthete, the only thing more important to him than riding a bike well is looking good doing it. Frank is co-author along with the other Keepers of the Cog of the popular book, The Rules, The Way of the Cycling Disciple and also writes a monthly column for the magazine, Cyclist. He is also currently working on the first follow-up to The Rules, tentatively entitled The Hardmen. Email him directly at rouleur@velominati.com.

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xyxax says:

Aug 13 2013 at 1:35 pm

@xyxax

bummer, pasted drawing didn't appear. Let me consult with my in-house IT department.

Here kitty, kitty, kitty.....
xyxax says:

Aug 13 2013 at 1:45 pm

And I posted it under the wrong thread, but here ya go:
brett says:

Aug 13 2013 at 1:57 pm

@Marko

Don't look now but The Lion is in Rule #37 violation.

Yep, and he was in constant violation on KT as well... if you were there, you coulda told him.
JohnB says:

Aug 13 2013 at 1:59 pm

@frank

@JohnB

I do get the gist of the article and my first road bike, a lovely steel Ciocc had a 52/42 and I did like it a lot...Go compact and just pedal faster. 50 x 12 at a decent cadence is plenty quick. Get yourself some track time and develop souplesse if you want to look really Pro.

Or do all that on a Standard. And go mo'fasta.

At the very least, your bike will look more manly sitting at the cafe while you whimper inside.

We've not all got the guns of a pro but we can pretend. Just saying.

You start off saying you get the gist, and then you close with this. One of us is confused. Take a guess which one.

Sorry not confused, it was well past midnight and I should have been asleep hours earlier. I understand your general point. Sur la plaque as long as its a big plaque and a 42T small plaque is the biz. Many years ago I agreed without question. What I was trying to subtly imply is that now my 50T allows me to comply as much as possible with 49 + 3/4 year old legs that have never been bestowed with the capabilities of even your average Pro. Off to whimper into my late night cocoa and hope no-one looks too close at my bike next time it's parked up.

P.S. Never ever ride big ring, big sprocket. That chain line is just so wrong.
Marcus says:

Aug 13 2013 at 3:59 pm

@kixsand

@mouse

@frank

@harminator

You know you're hard when you have to fit your forks backwards to prevent the big ring from scraping the ground. (Pic 3!)

This. That photo is all man, all the time.

@Marcus

@mouse

Unless Frank is Museeuw's landlord I think you mean tenet. At least I think you do for all intensive purposes.

Its a shame his cheek-in-tongue misspelling was fundamentally wrong.

You confuse me sir with someone who is intelligent.

@mouse

...and surely you mean "all intents and purposes".

That "intensive purposes" was, you know, a joke. Sometime irony can be so ironical (that was one too - ironical isnt a word. And stop calling him Shirley.
Marcus says:

Aug 13 2013 at 4:06 pm

@razmaspaz

@Marcus

@mouse

Unless Frank is Museeuw's landlord I think you mean tenet. At least I think you do for all intensive purposes.

Is this some subtle attempt at humor? Because it is hilarious. All intensive purposes is my favorite misused term of all. Second is road to hoe.

http://grammarist.com/eggcorns/for-all-intensive-purposes/

There is nothing funny about a compact though. Use the right gear for the right terrain/conditions.

And dont start me on chomping at the bit
The Grande Fondue says:

Aug 13 2013 at 4:49 pm

I'll take your 53/42 and raise a 53/44 (O'Grady's bike at Paris-Roubaix this year)
PeakInTwoYears says:

Aug 13 2013 at 5:38 pm

@Marcus

@razmaspaz

@Marcus

@mouse

Unless Frank is Museeuw's landlord I think you mean tenet. At least I think you do for all intensive purposes.

Is this some subtle attempt at humor? Because it is hilarious. All intensive purposes is my favorite misused term of all. Second is road to hoe.

http://grammarist.com/eggcorns/for-all-intensive-purposes/

There is nothing funny about a compact though. Use the right gear for the right terrain/conditions.

And dont start me on chomping at the bit

It's intensive porpoises. Irregardless, I could care less.
scaler911 says:

Aug 13 2013 at 5:56 pm

Fondy and the Professor: despite the totally horrible rolled up shorts thing, it looks like Maurizio has a turkey platter backed up with a dinner plate up front.
Marcus says:

Aug 13 2013 at 6:01 pm

@PeakInTwoYears

A little bit of election campaign quality this week from the man likely to be Australia's next prime minister,

"No one, however smart, however well educated, however experienced is the suppository of all wisdom"