Categories: Awesome Belgian GuysBelgian AffirmationsFolkloreLook ProNostalgiaThe HardmenTradition

Look Pro: The Flemish Compact

Everyone knows that the quality of one’s character is measured by the size gear they can push, particularly when going uphill. It is also a well-established fact that no self-respecting Flemish Pro would ever ride a Compact, no matter what condition their knees are in or how ferocious the gradient. Which, by extension, means that Compacts are for sissies. In fact, a true Flandrian would rather lose their national race than ride a Sissy Gear.

The first time we rode with Johan Museeuw, we were shocked to find him aboard one of his carbon/flax race machines – and a compact chainset. Not wanting to offend an Apostle by suggesting he’s riding his son’s bike, I asked him what he thought of it. “I don’t like it. The big ring isn’t big enough for climbing.”

The standard Flemish chainset is – and has been for as long as the Ancients have tracked these details in their sacred scrolls – either a 53T or 52T outer ring paired to a 42T inner ring. On the occasions when the parcours will see them scaling the Koppenberg or Kapelmuur, the Belgians make a concession and dust off their trusty 41T inner ring in order to shorten the gear by a whopping single tooth. In the mountains or over in Wallonia (the land of savages) where they are far from the prying eyes of their proud public, the Flemish hardman may allow his mechanic to bolt on a lowly 39T ring, so long as no one brings it up at the dinner table. (It is worth noting that in Cyclocross it is standard practice to ride a 38T inner ring.)

Museeuw has never been a grimpeur, not when he was a Pro and not now. On Keepers Tour 2013, we had the opportunity to do several more rides with him, one of which was over the roads of Liege-Bastogne-Liege. It was customary for him to suggest alternate routes that avoided the steep hills, and so it was that he tried to talk us out of riding the Stockeu. We rode up side-by-side, taking our time. As we alternated between pedaling and doing track stands, he asked if I was riding a compact. I feigned a combination of exasperation and insult at such a question and told him it was a Flemish Compact.

“Oh, a 39? Goed.”

[dmalbum path=”/velominati.com/content/Photo Galleries/frank@velominati.com/Belgian Compact/”/]

frank

The founder of Velominati and curator of The Rules, Frank was born in the Dutch colonies of Minnesota. His boundless physical talents are carefully canceled out by his equally boundless enthusiasm for drinking. Coffee, beer, wine, if it’s in a container, he will enjoy it, a lot of it. He currently lives in Seattle. He loves riding in the rain and scheduling visits with the Man with the Hammer just to be reminded of the privilege it is to feel completely depleted. He holds down a technology job the description of which no-one really understands and his interests outside of Cycling and drinking are Cycling and drinking. As devoted aesthete, the only thing more important to him than riding a bike well is looking good doing it. Frank is co-author along with the other Keepers of the Cog of the popular book, The Rules, The Way of the Cycling Disciple and also writes a monthly column for the magazine, Cyclist. He is also currently working on the first follow-up to The Rules, tentatively entitled The Hardmen. Email him directly at rouleur@velominati.com.

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View Comments

Teocalli says:

Aug 16 2013 at 3:54 am

@Chris

@Teocalli

I probably should whisper this in very small print but I have a gps on the bike so I'm quite happy to take all responsibility for getting us hideously lost.

You've got to love a volunteer. Thanks.

Ha ha - love it.
Mike_P says:

Aug 16 2013 at 4:15 am

@Teocalli

@Chris

@Teocalli

I probably should whisper this in very small print but I have a gps on the bike so I'm quite happy to take all responsibility for getting us hideously lost.

You've got to love a volunteer. Thanks.

Ha ha - love it.

Best be sticking that GPS in your pocket. Either the first or second weekend of October and I'll be there.
ChrisO says:

Aug 16 2013 at 4:42 am

@Chris

@ChrisO

@Chris Here you go mate, run yourself up one of these - handy instructions here

Nice tape job.

Next you'll tell me that you've grown a beard and will be doing the Cogal on your new recumbent whilst wearing spd sandals. We're starting in the East End and heading towards Ipswich.

You'd be surprised. I've had my fair share of rice pudding, peaches and malt loaf.

They may have beards but some of those guys - and girls - are harder than any roadie will ever be.
Mike_P says:

Aug 16 2013 at 4:53 am

@ChrisO You could always give it a bash on this
Teocalli says:

Aug 16 2013 at 5:04 am

@Mike_P

@ChrisO You could always give it a bash on this

Tsk - Rule #31 ??
Mike_P says:

Aug 16 2013 at 5:22 am

Dragging us back to things Belgian, reports are saying that Tom Boonen may need surgery on a saddle sore. That's got to be bad, for a true hardman like Tommeke to need to go under the knife.

C'mon Tom, the Classics need you!!
motor city says:

Aug 16 2013 at 5:24 am

@Chris + the other UK Velominati. I'm in Brighton and should be able to make it up to London this. Happy to go with whatever route you lot can come up with.

I actually started looking at a potential cogal route from Brighton heading up to Boxhill via Ashdown Forest in the past as there are some good roads but got no further.

I'll send an email. Cheers
Chris says:

Aug 16 2013 at 12:58 pm

@motor city I've done the Hell of Ashdown the last couple of years as an early season wake up call for the Keepers Tour. It's a great ride across lovely country side. This year's was properly rule 9 with horizontal driven snow on the high ground. It wasn't lying on the ground but it sure as hell stung.
motor city says:

Aug 18 2013 at 2:28 pm

@Chris I remember you mentioning that earlier in the year, it sounded brutal.

I'm on the mailing list thing for entry for 2014 I think its late October for registration. I'd like to do that, then PUNCHEUR is a few weeks later then a day on the cobbles.
Russ says:

Aug 18 2013 at 4:28 pm

@wiscot

@Buck Rogers

@wiscot

Ahhh, fuck it, time to confess. I ride a 50/36 with an 11-23 at the back. I live in a very lumpy part of SE WI and I hit the big 50 next month. All you young whippersnappers can ride all the 53-42s you damn well like, but I get around quite nicely thank you on my set up. (eg, 92 kms last night. Two bottles, no food, 29kmh/hr average over lumpy terrain) I hate having a big cassette at the back and the 36 looks better than a 34.

I grew up in the age of 52-42 being standard and a 12 straight-through at the back. Try getting up some steep hills on 42-18 and then tell be about how shitty compacts are. Been there, done that, not going back. While I'm at it, I sport an EPMS. Why? Because I came of age in an era of wool and then shitty acrylic jerseys. I have images burnt in my brain of riders with so much shit in their saggy back pockets that you couldn't see the saddle. For me, it's emergency gear in the EPMS, wallet and cell in the middle pocket, gels in the right pocket, solid food in the left. Other than that, I do my very best to obey the rules, but sometimes age and experience trumps the written word!

Jesus Man!!! What do you think this is? An AA meeting??? Keep that shit to yourself and obey the Masturbation Principle!

Sorry fellas . . . slinking off with head hung in abject shame. (In my defence, there did seem to be a few confessions being posted and I must have gotten carried away.

A little pent up emotion isn't good for the soul, Hill repeats are in order.