Categories: FolkloreLook ProNostalgiaTechniqueThe HardmenTradition

Look Pro: The Hunchbacks of Notre V

The flat back position is perhaps the greatest lie ever told in sport, provided you ignore any of the racing we’ve seen in the last decade or two.

It is possible, I suppose, that when we talk about a flat back, what we really mean is that on an elementary level, all curves are really just a series of straight segments connected at an angle; while a rider’s back may look arched, it really is flat in an existential sense.

Because no one really rides with a flat back. Even riders who famously rode with a flat back, like Greg LeMond, actually rode with only the upper portion of their backs flat. In fact, the only rider I can think of who was as happy as a Texan in an Amgen factory while riding with a truly flat back was The Gypsy himself. It bears mentioning, however, that a search through the Velominati Archives shows only intermittent evidence of him riding with a truly flat back.

If you’ve ever tried to get your back completely flat, you’ll have noticed that it feels awful. Your shoulders tense up, your hips roll forward. It certainly doesn’t do your bits any favors. As you try to accelerate, your shoulders and hips tense up even more in an effort to keep the back as flat as possible.

There is a very simple explanation for this: The V abhors a straight line; it requires smooth curves in order to flow freely from the various V-Receptacles spread throughout your body and into the guns where it is processed and converted into Monumental Devastation.

As you pursue the V-Locus, keep the following points in mind:

The key to a Magnificent Stroke is to find a tension-neutral position on the bike.
Let your hips find their natural position. It will likely be somewhat vertical, causing your lower back to arch.
Tension is the enemy. Relax your shoulders, elbows, hips, and neck. Even relax your fingers if you find them trying to strangle the bars.
Like a Jedi uses the Force, let the power of The V flow from your arms through your lower back and hips, and down into the cannons.
The harder you are hammering and the closer you are to achieving nuclear V-ission, the more important it becomes to keep your back and shoulders relaxed; you are wasting precious energy on staying tense. Use that energy to fire the the guns instead.

And yes, Cycling is hell for your posture. If that’s what you’re after, take up yoga.

[dmalbum path=”/velominati.com/content/Photo Galleries/frank@velominati.com/Flat Backs/”/]

frank

The founder of Velominati and curator of The Rules, Frank was born in the Dutch colonies of Minnesota. His boundless physical talents are carefully canceled out by his equally boundless enthusiasm for drinking. Coffee, beer, wine, if it’s in a container, he will enjoy it, a lot of it. He currently lives in Seattle. He loves riding in the rain and scheduling visits with the Man with the Hammer just to be reminded of the privilege it is to feel completely depleted. He holds down a technology job the description of which no-one really understands and his interests outside of Cycling and drinking are Cycling and drinking. As devoted aesthete, the only thing more important to him than riding a bike well is looking good doing it. Frank is co-author along with the other Keepers of the Cog of the popular book, The Rules, The Way of the Cycling Disciple and also writes a monthly column for the magazine, Cyclist. He is also currently working on the first follow-up to The Rules, tentatively entitled The Hardmen. Email him directly at rouleur@velominati.com.

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View Comments

Deakus says:

Dec 5 2012 at 10:56 am

@the Engine

@frank

@Marcus

The best saying i have heard about one's core and cycling is that strong legs without a strong core is like firing a cannon from a canoe.

Amazingly, that seems to be a common-enough saying that when you google "cannon in a canoe" you get a bunch of pictures of people doing yoga.

And this.

Which reminds of the Python gag about American beer being like sex in a canoe...

don't start that shit again.....I had to spend an hour this morning reading back on last nights firefight just to figure out what the fuck was going on!!....cue ;)
sthilzy says:

Dec 5 2012 at 2:57 pm

@Deakus

@sthilzy

@Jeff in PetroMetro

Nice rides there!

Hope you don't mind, I had a play with your steed's to compare then and now. I do this to check transferring set ups from one to another. The only thing is that if one bike is leaning over more you get distortion.

Looks like the the saddle to bar drop the same, Mercian higher than the Look. Crank arm length may even this out?

It's only for fum comparison for you. You know you feel comfy on both.

fella set yourself up a paypal account, make ppl submit two photos and charge £5 by return to do this. I will be your first customer! I would be really curious about the difference in geometry between my n#1 and n#2!

Hmmmm_Thanks for the support! If I do, I'll need to set up some rules for taking the pics so they are 'usable' to do comparison. I tried to keep the bars side on on both bikes. Also need to know a distance, say C-C seat to head tube, or C-C wheel base/axle.

This is what I did to see how my set up may look with what I've got before making purchases/refunds to get a position I'm happy with. The Moser, I went through a couple of stems, ended up at 130mm long!
Nate says:

Dec 5 2012 at 3:41 pm

@sthilzy What do you do that with, photochop?
Jeff in PetroMetro says:

Dec 5 2012 at 4:02 pm

@Dan_R

@Jeff in PetroMetro Let's hope I can do them justice!

Sitting up a bit, yeah, I think that's why I like my cross bike so much.

I'm looking forward to your wheel recommendations. 1200grams gets me to 6.9kg for the bike. Yeah.
Jeff in PetroMetro says:

Dec 5 2012 at 4:05 pm

@frank Thanks for the compliments on the bikes. I'll put the bikes right for their official portraits, skewers and all!
Nate says:

Dec 5 2012 at 4:08 pm

@Jeff in PetroMetro Do we get a story about JiPM's Look v.2?
Jeff in PetroMetro says:

Dec 5 2012 at 4:32 pm

Yes, I think so. Death. Shock. Tears shed. Bike #2 becomes Bike #1. Prayers to Merckx. Prayers answered. The Resurrection. Good fortune. A beautiful future.

Don't ever doubt the power of the V.
Jeff in PetroMetro says:

Dec 5 2012 at 4:36 pm

@Nate If you all will indulge me. And Gianni let's it in.
Nate says:

Dec 5 2012 at 4:58 pm

@Jeff in PetroMetro I'm not Gianni, but we all indulged you for v.1. Why not v.2?
Jeff in PetroMetro says:

Dec 5 2012 at 5:20 pm

@Nate

@Jeff in PetroMetro I'm not Gianni, but we all indulged you for v.1. Why not v.2?

Yes, but there were about 12 Velominati back then. Five of them were Keepers. And even Frank thought about breaking up my story into multiple entries. A serial, if you will. I'll try to keep this next one a little shorter.