Categories: FolkloreLook ProNostalgiaTechniqueThe HardmenTradition

Look Pro: The Hunchbacks of Notre V

The flat back position is perhaps the greatest lie ever told in sport, provided you ignore any of the racing we’ve seen in the last decade or two.

It is possible, I suppose, that when we talk about a flat back, what we really mean is that on an elementary level, all curves are really just a series of straight segments connected at an angle; while a rider’s back may look arched, it really is flat in an existential sense.

Because no one really rides with a flat back. Even riders who famously rode with a flat back, like Greg LeMond, actually rode with only the upper portion of their backs flat. In fact, the only rider I can think of who was as happy as a Texan in an Amgen factory while riding with a truly flat back was The Gypsy himself. It bears mentioning, however, that a search through the Velominati Archives shows only intermittent evidence of him riding with a truly flat back.

If you’ve ever tried to get your back completely flat, you’ll have noticed that it feels awful. Your shoulders tense up, your hips roll forward. It certainly doesn’t do your bits any favors. As you try to accelerate, your shoulders and hips tense up even more in an effort to keep the back as flat as possible.

There is a very simple explanation for this: The V abhors a straight line; it requires smooth curves in order to flow freely from the various V-Receptacles spread throughout your body and into the guns where it is processed and converted into Monumental Devastation.

As you pursue the V-Locus, keep the following points in mind:

The key to a Magnificent Stroke is to find a tension-neutral position on the bike.
Let your hips find their natural position. It will likely be somewhat vertical, causing your lower back to arch.
Tension is the enemy. Relax your shoulders, elbows, hips, and neck. Even relax your fingers if you find them trying to strangle the bars.
Like a Jedi uses the Force, let the power of The V flow from your arms through your lower back and hips, and down into the cannons.
The harder you are hammering and the closer you are to achieving nuclear V-ission, the more important it becomes to keep your back and shoulders relaxed; you are wasting precious energy on staying tense. Use that energy to fire the the guns instead.

And yes, Cycling is hell for your posture. If that’s what you’re after, take up yoga.

[dmalbum path=”/velominati.com/content/Photo Galleries/frank@velominati.com/Flat Backs/”/]

frank

The founder of Velominati and curator of The Rules, Frank was born in the Dutch colonies of Minnesota. His boundless physical talents are carefully canceled out by his equally boundless enthusiasm for drinking. Coffee, beer, wine, if it’s in a container, he will enjoy it, a lot of it. He currently lives in Seattle. He loves riding in the rain and scheduling visits with the Man with the Hammer just to be reminded of the privilege it is to feel completely depleted. He holds down a technology job the description of which no-one really understands and his interests outside of Cycling and drinking are Cycling and drinking. As devoted aesthete, the only thing more important to him than riding a bike well is looking good doing it. Frank is co-author along with the other Keepers of the Cog of the popular book, The Rules, The Way of the Cycling Disciple and also writes a monthly column for the magazine, Cyclist. He is also currently working on the first follow-up to The Rules, tentatively entitled The Hardmen. Email him directly at rouleur@velominati.com.

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View Comments

frank says:

Dec 4 2012 at 11:21 am

@pistard

So, I can stop studying my position in shop window reflections? Might cut down on the crashes.

No, do not stop doing that. It is one of life's little pleasures to catch a glimpse of how badass you look as you whip by a window. Subsequent crash and all.
Dan_R says:

Dec 4 2012 at 11:25 am

@frank

@pistard

So, I can stop studying my position in shop window reflections? Might cut down on the crashes.

No, do not stop doing that. It is one of life's little pleasures to catch a glimpse of how badass you look as you whip by a window. Subsequent crash and all.

Chicks dig scars...
frank says:

Dec 4 2012 at 11:26 am

@brett

My friend Rachel has one of the flattest backs I've seen...

Rad. But that's not a flat back. That's a perfect V-Arch, in fact.

@James

@frank

Can you disclose your core strength regimen?

Its not much, but it helps a lot. I'm naturally pretty flexible (oddly enough) in just the right ways for cycling; I'm completely inflexible in other ways.

All I do is lay on my back while watching TV and do three sets of 50 leg lifts; I lift my legs from just above the ground all the way up to 90 degrees. To start with, I'd keep my legs together, but after a month of that I started to hold my feet about shoulder-width apart when I lift them up - its much harder that way. I finish each set by holding my legs a little bit above the ground for a count of 15 seconds.

This has two benefits: it seems to work the lower back and the abdomen, and it doesn't require me to take out time for an indoor workout, which is something I detest. Basically, I do these without noticing that I'm doing it that much.
VeloVita says:

Dec 4 2012 at 11:56 am

@SimonH

@Giles

@Marcus ditto. Do we go to the same studio? I was about to make the same comment, both the instructors I have are pretty damn hot. I've been doing Pilates for over a year now, the benefits to a 40+ who spends and hour or two on the bike and 8 hours at a desk most of the week, have been obvious (I've dropped the bars, raised the saddle because I can and it's now more comfortable).

Also an advocate for Pilates. I started in February and have found it has helped me heaps, far better than any gym work has ever done.

Since I started I have dropped 2cm of spacers from under my eight degree stem and flipped it down. My saddle has come up a touch , maybe a cm, and I find that I am much more comfortable riding for four hours plus (always rides of 100k and more) and spend most of my time in the drops, only changing to the tops / hoods when climbing or chewing my stem.

Being 6'3"³ tall I have suffered with back pain since teenage, two serious car accidents have also not helped either. I don't even so much as get a twinge anymore. I find that I sit upright all the time, don't slouch and feel this helps me greatly on the bike. Rather than feel like my arms are supporting my bodyweight on the bike it is my mid section / core mostly fulfilling that role.

I think it is the increased flexibilty in my hamstrings / quads that has brought on this change rather than increased spine flexibilty but it all helps.

I will soon be dragging my knuckles on the floor.

Being 6'3" and slouchy, this is what I'm hoping more core work does for me (minus the dragging knuckles and car wrecks)
Nate says:

Dec 4 2012 at 12:27 pm

@VeloVita I'm of similar build and try to do this routine periodically if I get lazy before very long my back will let me know it's time for some more reps: http://www.bicycling.com/training-nutrition/training-fitness/core?page=0,1

Although the idea of proper pilates is intriguing.
frank says:

Dec 4 2012 at 12:42 pm

@minion

@Marcus

@strathlubnaig

agree

@frank

@Marko
Whilst I shouldnt be one to throw stones when it comes to cautioning on offensive comments, c'mon, go easy on the priest/kiddy calls - you can do better (but I cant). Why not just say, "as happy as Minion and Marcus at a sheep shearing and sharing convention".

Or "As happy as Minion and Marcus at Foxy Boxing when it's guest's night and you get to smash each other wearing women's lingerie"

Photographic proof that you also swing for cows.
frank says:

Dec 4 2012 at 12:44 pm

@Deakus

Strangely though with two prolapsed discs and 4 dehydrated ones and years of back pain, road cycling has actually "fixed" my back! I used to wake very sore every day of the year and take about an hour to warm up, my back would "go" at least twice a year necessitating 3 weeks or so on crutches............start cycling again....pain free, back never slips any more...go figure? I put it down to strengthen the core which I guess is why Pilates and Yoga feature so heavily in this type of conversation. The issues with my back cannot be "fixed" it is just the muscles and ligaments around the injuries have strenthened to compensate.

My dad suffers from something similar and cycling fixes it as well; his theory is that cycling builds up the muscles along your spine and keeps your vertebrae from squishing the discs.
frank says:

Dec 4 2012 at 12:47 pm

@alexei

Pozzato and Ballan both are pretty close to table flat in this pic from the 2012 Ronde. Not that it helped them any in the finale.

That photo does a great job to perpetuate the Myth of the Flat Back. Have a good look and you'll see the upper portion of their back may be fairly flat, but their lower backs are carved sharply to get there. Especially Ballan; it takes him until about mid-back to get flattish.

That's a beautiful position he's got, though.
frank says:

Dec 4 2012 at 12:50 pm

@Marko

@unversio

@Marko One shot that day (slideshow) running across a field together gave the impression of the Beatles Abbey Road (photo) with extra members.

That was the following Sunday during Roubaix. Good shot though as well and fun times. 5 minutes later we met Van Summie's VMH.

Let me convert this into command-line syntax for you for any event or photo taken during Keepers Tour:

That was * during *. Good shot though and fun times. V minutes later we *.
minion says:

Dec 4 2012 at 1:07 pm

@frank

@minion

@Marcus

@strathlubnaig

agree

@frank

@Marko
Whilst I shouldnt be one to throw stones when it comes to cautioning on offensive comments, c'mon, go easy on the priest/kiddy calls - you can do better (but I cant). Why not just say, "as happy as Minion and Marcus at a sheep shearing and sharing convention".

Or "As happy as Minion and Marcus at Foxy Boxing when it's guest's night and you get to smash each other wearing women's lingerie"

Photographic proof that you also swing for cows.

I'm not fucking Welsh you sick fucker. That's just disgusting.