Look Pro: The Hunchbacks of Notre V
The flat back position is perhaps the greatest lie ever told in sport, provided you ignore any of the racing we’ve seen in the last decade or two.
It is possible, I suppose, that when we talk about a flat back, what we really mean is that on an elementary level, all curves are really just a series of straight segments connected at an angle; while a rider’s back may look arched, it really is flat in an existential sense.
Because no one really rides with a flat back. Even riders who famously rode with a flat back, like Greg LeMond, actually rode with only the upper portion of their backs flat. In fact, the only rider I can think of who was as happy as a Texan in an Amgen factory while riding with a truly flat back was The Gypsy himself. It bears mentioning, however, that a search through the Velominati Archives shows only intermittent evidence of him riding with a truly flat back.
If you’ve ever tried to get your back completely flat, you’ll have noticed that it feels awful. Your shoulders tense up, your hips roll forward. It certainly doesn’t do your bits any favors. As you try to accelerate, your shoulders and hips tense up even more in an effort to keep the back as flat as possible.
There is a very simple explanation for this: The V abhors a straight line; it requires smooth curves in order to flow freely from the various V-Receptacles spread throughout your body and into the guns where it is processed and converted into Monumental Devastation.
As you pursue the V-Locus, keep the following points in mind:
- The key to a Magnificent Stroke is to find a tension-neutral position on the bike.
- Let your hips find their natural position. It will likely be somewhat vertical, causing your lower back to arch.
- Tension is the enemy. Relax your shoulders, elbows, hips, and neck. Even relax your fingers if you find them trying to strangle the bars.
- Like a Jedi uses the Force, let the power of The V flow from your arms through your lower back and hips, and down into the cannons.
- The harder you are hammering and the closer you are to achieving nuclear V-ission, the more important it becomes to keep your back and shoulders relaxed; you are wasting precious energy on staying tense. Use that energy to fire the the guns instead.
And yes, Cycling is hell for your posture. If that’s what you’re after, take up yoga.
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Is the title picture of Le Blaireau the perfect Velominati picture of a man on a bike?
Apart from the de rigueur slightly out of focus dead body in the field right behind him and the possibility that it might just look ever so slightly better (but only ever so) if the cranks were slightly past the 6 o’clock and the picture had been taken from the drive side – is there anything Le Patron could have done to look more fantastic or more pro (given that this was presumably 1979)?
1978
Nice post, Frank, and sound.
Oli, you beat me to it! 1978 it was. Interesting discussion here. Riders back then had a much smaller differential between their bars and stem heights. There’s maybe a 2-3″ difference for Hinault in the picture. Compare that to some of today’s riders who have a 6″+ difference.
Charly Mottet had a very “flat” back. Didi Thurau did too.On of the flattest was Moser.
@wiscot did you mean seat and stem?
@the Engine, @Oli
Indeed. ’78 was quite a year for the little frog. Second year as a pro and he won the Tour, Vuelta, and the Nationals. They don’t make them like that anymore. Here’s a shot from a second later.
More ’78 Bernie goodness:
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@Oli
I have to say I’m shocked, I didn’t think you’d buy into this one bit! I’ll try harder next time, I was a bit rushed this time round.
@wiscot
Only on his commuter
Not his racer
Chuck Flop was flatish, though, but not entirely, the base of his back was always positioned for maximum V, like LeMonds.
Recently I’ve grown to learn that to adhere to Frank’s V-step plan above requires more functional core strength than I currently possess. Countless tweaks have been made to bike setup and position to prevent pain or discomfort that would have probably been entirely unnecessary had I spent more time working on my core. Sadly its taken a lower back injury that kept me from doing any substantial riding for the past several months to force that realization.
@the Engine
Check out the transition of his cap. Perfect Three-Point System here:
And now its completely slipped back in terror as he’s laying it on thick.
Must be an early in the season photo of Uli. He’s looking rather fat to climb in that one.
Great post Frank…and an early Happy Hanukkah to all!
http://youtu.be/9J1Fcp4v53c
@wiscot
My last thought before I finish lunch…This is a question I’ve been trying to answer for ages. Take a look at the AOP from a few weeks back:
It seems there are two directions that you can make up length; going out, or going down. It seems like in the 70’s, 80’s and part of the 90’s, they were going out – riding big frames with long top tubes to get into a nicely stretched position.
Also note how deep the drop is on Merckx’s bars – I wouldn’t be surprised if the drop from top of the saddle to the bottom of the drops is not that much less than my bike has.
These days, we ride shallower bars, and smaller frames. When we run out of length with 130mm and 140mm stems, we start dropping the bars to make up the extra two cm’s we’re looking for.
Really just a theory, not certain there’s much to it, but that’s the stuff that whips through my mind on those 200km solos.
Thank Merckx, I can blame my shit posture on cycling. I scrolled through images of Rik Verbrugghe because I thought he was Mr Flat Back but no, another nice aero-curve.
@wiscot That’s a good point. Seats have gone up and bars have gone down. Everyone was more comfortable then.
@Marko
That’s the 2001 Worlds road race. He finished in the bunch and won the ITT. He was just a big dude; kinda like a bratwurst on a bike. But still his sleeves were loose.
Interesting post, though the ‘priest’ line looked a bit contrived, perhaps even a bit flat too. Not sure why that was needed.
@frank
One of the reasons Hinault was a true Patron was that he had the rider’s interests at heart – see the protest at Valence d”Agen in 78 (Pic #4 from Frank’s slide show.) Double stages, early mornings, long transfers. “Enough” said le Blaireau. Notice how the other riders are looking around. Hinault’s attitude says “mess with me at your peril.” After Merckx and Coppi, BH is #3 of all time.
@Giles
Of course I did! Sorry!
@frank
Yeah – he won the French road race title in 1978 but he’d have been rocking the national colours through 1979 in the Tour.
@frank
Damn – that rear QR isn’t quite right
@frank
I think you are right; bars then had significantly deeper drops, and riders spent more time in the drops, on account of using DT shifters. Nowadays pros like to run the big saddle-to-bartop drops, to the absurd point that there is a nontrival number of them who never even get in the drops. But for the UCI rules they might as well be on bullhorns.
@strathlubnaig
Indeed. This would have given it that extra pizazz you require maybe?
“..the only rider I can think of who was as happy as a Catholic priest alone in a Preschool…”
@strathlubnaig
agree
@frank
@Marko
Whilst I shouldnt be one to throw stones when it comes to cautioning on offensive comments, c’mon, go easy on the priest/kiddy calls – you can do better (but I cant). Why not just say, “as happy as Minion and Marcus at a sheep shearing and sharing convention”.
@Marcus
Because you have that covered so well already. How about “Happy as a Texan with a bagstage pass to big Pharma?”
“There is a very simple explanation for this: The V abhors a straight line;” Fucking ace! This sums things up nicely.
Yoga. The VMH has been trying to get me to do it for a few years. I’d like to. I need to be more flexible but after years and years of sports with little attention to proper warming up & cooling down, I don’t see it happening. I’d still like to work on it. But not via yoga; I simply can’t sit still that long, either for one long “pose” or one class.
If this isn’t a flat back, I don’t know what is.
@Nate
(Pst! Click the link for the Gypsy up in the article.)
@Ron, @VeloVita
I’ve gone in and out of Yoga practice. You will never feel better in your body then when you’re doing yoga, but time runs short and I fall out of practice. It does worlds for your core and overall strength.
Smoke ’em if you got em.
@strathlubnaig, @Marcus
You two need to take a remedial course in Rule #5. Lighten up, Francis.
I changed it, but not because there was anything wrong with the original joke; I changed it because @Marko’s joke was fucking hilarious.
@frank I have just started doing pilates and my instructor is a super hot former dancer – who i really hope doesn’t read cycling websites. Even if it doesnt help me, I cant see myself stopping for a while.
“I am going to touch your sit bones quite often when you do this exercise. Are you ok with that?”
@frank
Can you disclose your core strength regimen?
Hunchback, this is me in a crit at the start of the year;
Thanks to growing up on a bike and slight case of Scheuermann’s disease
Somedays riding with no problems, otherdays back so sore I can’t stand straight getting off a bike.
Wish I could have done this to keep the back straight after a ride!
Then there’s awesome Danny Clark;
@Marcus ditto. Do we go to the same studio? I was about to make the same comment, both the instructors I have are pretty damn hot. I’ve been doing Pilates for over a year now, the benefits to a 40+ who spends and hour or two on the bike and 8 hours at a desk most of the week, have been obvious (I’ve dropped the bars, raised the saddle because I can and it’s now more comfortable).
@Giles very happy when i clicked on your name to see you are in WA. I wouldnt want to share mine with others.
@the Engine Sorry, you’re wrong. He won the French road champs in June 1978, rode the 1978 Tour wearing the jersey then someone else won the 1979 Championships in June of ’79, presumably wearing the tricolor into the 1979 Tour.
@Marcus “sit bones” should be your safe word.
@Marko safe words are for the weak of mind and core. You need to be able to perform without a safety net.
My friend Rachel has one of the flattest backs I’ve seen…
@Marcus
I’ll be needing that address.
@brett She seems to be staring down at the stick just in front and to the right of her.
@Marko
“If I look at this stick long enough, maybe I will avoid making eye contact with that creepy fucking bike shop guy taking photos of me again. Cant remember his name but he keeps telling me that we are friends and commenting on my flat back.”
@Marcus
Good theory, except I didn’t take the photo.
I’ve read “Slaying the Badger” (where I thought Le Blaireau came out looking much better than I expected – I suspect the author was too scared to write anything bad) and I’ve read Fingon’s “We were Young and Carefree”, but I’d love to read a book just about Hinault. All the little hints I read make his exploits seem more and more amazing. There is a video of him finishing 3rd on Champs-Élysées in the yellow jersey – I was impressed with that until I discovered he actually won the final stage in ’79 and ’82.
Is there a book in English about Hinault?
@brett
Guess you just picked up the photo from some other loser dweeb you met on the internet through your mutual love of cycling.
oh wait a minute…
https://www.google.com/search?q=Andrea+Tafi&hl=en&client=safari&tbo=d&source=lnms&tbm=isch&sa=X&ei=1IS9UPmzH6Pc2AXAvYHIDA&ved=0CAgQ_AUoAQ&biw=320&bih=416#i=14
So, I can stop studying my position in shop window reflections? Might cut down on the crashes.
@Giles
Also an advocate for Pilates. I started in February and have found it has helped me heaps, far better than any gym work has ever done.
Since I started I have dropped 2cm of spacers from under my eight degree stem and flipped it down. My saddle has come up a touch , maybe a cm, and I find that I am much more comfortable riding for four hours plus (always rides of 100k and more) and spend most of my time in the drops, only changing to the tops / hoods when climbing or chewing my stem.
Being 6’3″ tall I have suffered with back pain since teenage, two serious car accidents have also not helped either. I don’t even so much as get a twinge anymore. I find that I sit upright all the time, don’t slouch and feel this helps me greatly on the bike. Rather than feel like my arms are supporting my bodyweight on the bike it is my mid section / core mostly fulfilling that role.
I think it is the increased flexibilty in my hamstrings / quads that has brought on this change rather than increased spine flexibilty but it all helps.
I will soon be dragging my knuckles on the floor.
@Oli
Actually according to your own site the picture’s from the 1978 Grand Prix des Nations.
The “Hitch Hiker’s Guide” says: “To prepare for the 1978 Tour de France, Hinault rode his first grand tour, the Vuelta a España. He won and felt ready for his first Tour de France. Before the Tour, he won the national championship, which allowed him to wear the tricolour. This tour became a battle with Joop Zoetemelk, Hinault taking the yellow jersey after the final time trial. He was hailed as the next great French cyclist and won the Tour again in 1979”
Dang.
Jaques Anquetil was regarded as having one of the flatest backs and most perfect pedalling styles ever. The addition of downwarded pointing toes was also then copied by many for a long time…
Strangely though with two prolapsed discs and 4 dehydrated ones and years of back pain, road cycling has actually “fixed” my back! I used to wake very sore every day of the year and take about an hour to warm up, my back would “go” at least twice a year necessitating 3 weeks or so on crutches…………start cycling again….pain free, back never slips any more…go figure? I put it down to strengthen the core which I guess is why Pilates and Yoga feature so heavily in this type of conversation. The issues with my back cannot be “fixed” it is just the muscles and ligaments around the injuries have strenthened to compensate.
I ride with a beautifully curved back…but I put this down to the necessity to deploy diaphramtic breathing techniques! (cue emoticon) ;)
The second paragraph of this post had me in hysterics.
Fucking hell.
@Marcus
Or “As happy as Minion and Marcus at Foxy Boxing when it’s guest’s night and you get to smash each other wearing women’s lingerie”
@the Engine Haha, does it? Thought I’d seen that picture before!
(Note I never claimed this specific picture was from the ’78 Tour, just that he wore the Tricolor in the Tour that year and not in the ’79 one.)