Categories: FolkloreLook ProNostalgiaTechniqueThe HardmenTradition

Look Pro: The Hunchbacks of Notre V

The flat back position is perhaps the greatest lie ever told in sport, provided you ignore any of the racing we’ve seen in the last decade or two.

It is possible, I suppose, that when we talk about a flat back, what we really mean is that on an elementary level, all curves are really just a series of straight segments connected at an angle; while a rider’s back may look arched, it really is flat in an existential sense.

Because no one really rides with a flat back. Even riders who famously rode with a flat back, like Greg LeMond, actually rode with only the upper portion of their backs flat. In fact, the only rider I can think of who was as happy as a Texan in an Amgen factory while riding with a truly flat back was The Gypsy himself. It bears mentioning, however, that a search through the Velominati Archives shows only intermittent evidence of him riding with a truly flat back.

If you’ve ever tried to get your back completely flat, you’ll have noticed that it feels awful. Your shoulders tense up, your hips roll forward. It certainly doesn’t do your bits any favors. As you try to accelerate, your shoulders and hips tense up even more in an effort to keep the back as flat as possible.

There is a very simple explanation for this: The V abhors a straight line; it requires smooth curves in order to flow freely from the various V-Receptacles spread throughout your body and into the guns where it is processed and converted into Monumental Devastation.

As you pursue the V-Locus, keep the following points in mind:

The key to a Magnificent Stroke is to find a tension-neutral position on the bike.
Let your hips find their natural position. It will likely be somewhat vertical, causing your lower back to arch.
Tension is the enemy. Relax your shoulders, elbows, hips, and neck. Even relax your fingers if you find them trying to strangle the bars.
Like a Jedi uses the Force, let the power of The V flow from your arms through your lower back and hips, and down into the cannons.
The harder you are hammering and the closer you are to achieving nuclear V-ission, the more important it becomes to keep your back and shoulders relaxed; you are wasting precious energy on staying tense. Use that energy to fire the the guns instead.

And yes, Cycling is hell for your posture. If that’s what you’re after, take up yoga.

[dmalbum path=”/velominati.com/content/Photo Galleries/frank@velominati.com/Flat Backs/”/]

frank

The founder of Velominati and curator of The Rules, Frank was born in the Dutch colonies of Minnesota. His boundless physical talents are carefully canceled out by his equally boundless enthusiasm for drinking. Coffee, beer, wine, if it’s in a container, he will enjoy it, a lot of it. He currently lives in Seattle. He loves riding in the rain and scheduling visits with the Man with the Hammer just to be reminded of the privilege it is to feel completely depleted. He holds down a technology job the description of which no-one really understands and his interests outside of Cycling and drinking are Cycling and drinking. As devoted aesthete, the only thing more important to him than riding a bike well is looking good doing it. Frank is co-author along with the other Keepers of the Cog of the popular book, The Rules, The Way of the Cycling Disciple and also writes a monthly column for the magazine, Cyclist. He is also currently working on the first follow-up to The Rules, tentatively entitled The Hardmen. Email him directly at rouleur@velominati.com.

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View Comments

the Engine says:

Dec 4 2012 at 1:20 pm

@frank

@Deakus

Strangely though with two prolapsed discs and 4 dehydrated ones and years of back pain, road cycling has actually "fixed" my back! I used to wake very sore every day of the year and take about an hour to warm up, my back would "go" at least twice a year necessitating 3 weeks or so on crutches............start cycling again....pain free, back never slips any more...go figure? I put it down to strengthen the core which I guess is why Pilates and Yoga feature so heavily in this type of conversation. The issues with my back cannot be "fixed" it is just the muscles and ligaments around the injuries have strenthened to compensate.

My dad suffers from something similar and cycling fixes it as well; his theory is that cycling builds up the muscles along your spine and keeps your vertebrae from squishing the discs.

When my sciatic was at its worst back in June I couldn't walk from my bed to the ensuite crapper in my house but I could ride for hours relatively pain free - just so long as I wasn't daft enough to get out of the saddle heading up hill.
Giles says:

Dec 4 2012 at 1:23 pm

@frank

@Deakus

Strangely though with two prolapsed discs and 4 dehydrated ones and years of back pain, road cycling has actually "fixed" my back! I used to wake very sore every day of the year and take about an hour to warm up, my back would "go" at least twice a year necessitating 3 weeks or so on crutches............start cycling again....pain free, back never slips any more...go figure? I put it down to strengthen the core which I guess is why Pilates and Yoga feature so heavily in this type of conversation. The issues with my back cannot be "fixed" it is just the muscles and ligaments around the injuries have strenthened to compensate.

My dad suffers from something similar and cycling fixes it as well; his theory is that cycling builds up the muscles along your spine and keeps your vertebrae from squishing the discs.

Was told the same by my physio. My bike last "went" about 8-9 years ago, the physio instructed me to get back on the bike as soon as I could without fainting in pain. I did and have never looked back.
Giles says:

Dec 4 2012 at 1:24 pm

Yesss made it to level 1.....
VeloVita says:

Dec 4 2012 at 1:29 pm

@Nate

@VeloVita I'm of similar build and try to do this routine periodically if I get lazy before very long my back will let me know it's time for some more reps: http://www.bicycling.com/training-nutrition/training-fitness/core?page=0,1

Although the idea of proper pilates is intriguing.

Yep, I've got that routine saved in my email. I've been doing a combination of similar exercises mixed with a few select yoga poses that stretch out my lower back (which is quite tight in the morning since I injured it last year), hamstrings, hips and quads.
Marcus says:

Dec 4 2012 at 3:13 pm

The best saying i have heard about one's core and cycling is that strong legs without a strong core is like firing a cannon from a canoe.
Dr C says:

Dec 4 2012 at 3:26 pm

No offence intended....

http://youtu.be/qPNCgda4xD0
Giles says:

Dec 4 2012 at 3:34 pm

@Giles

@frank

@Deakus

Strangely though with two prolapsed discs and 4 dehydrated ones and years of back pain, road cycling has actually "fixed" my back! I used to wake very sore every day of the year and take about an hour to warm up, my back would "go" at least twice a year necessitating 3 weeks or so on crutches............start cycling again....pain free, back never slips any more...go figure? I put it down to strengthen the core which I guess is why Pilates and Yoga feature so heavily in this type of conversation. The issues with my back cannot be "fixed" it is just the muscles and ligaments around the injuries have strenthened to compensate.

My dad suffers from something similar and cycling fixes it as well; his theory is that cycling builds up the muscles along your spine and keeps your vertebrae from squishing the discs.

Was told the same by my physio. My bike last "went" about 8-9 years ago, the physio instructed me to get back on the bike as soon as I could without fainting in pain. I did and have never looked back.

That should be "Back" not bike - the wonders of iPad autocorrect...
piwakawaka says:

Dec 4 2012 at 10:12 pm

The absolute best thing for cycling is your "core", this goes for almost any sport and its as simple as sit-ups and planks, equally important is your ass that's as easy as squats and lunges, do it, it works!
Jeff in PetroMetro says:

Dec 4 2012 at 10:14 pm

@frank To your point, here's my racing bike from 1989.

And here's my current resurrection...
DerHoggz says:

Dec 5 2012 at 1:43 am

@Jeff in PetroMetro

More saddle to bar drop, but shallower bars? Did you just find a whole bunch of old pics?