Look Pro: The V Tenets of the Casually Deliberate
A Velominatus gives the impression of having been born on the bike; the connection between rider and machine is so deeply entrenched that one can hardly draw the line where one ends and the other begins. There is an air of relaxed precision that is part innate and part learned through countless hours devoted to the craft of riding a bicycle batshit fast.
A Pedalwan will be quick to seek emulation of this characteristic, and in the spirit of Rule #3, it is our duty to impart upon you the five tenets of the Casually Deliberate.
- First, it is crucial that under no circumstances do you permit yourself to smile. If you are about to win the Tour de France for the first time, it is acceptable to momentarily smirk but expect to be met with raised eyebrows by your peers should you allow this to occur. Also don’t scowl because no one likes a crabby pants.
- Casual people are cool people, and cool people wear shades. If it worked for Axl Rose, it can work for you. Also, sunglasses are handy for covering up any redness in your eyes that you got from crying through the end of Playing for Keeps.
- Leaning on extended limbs is a guaranteed way to impart an air of relaxation, a crucial element to being Casually Deliberate. This effect is heightened the faster you are going. When passing a slower rider, ensure you accelerate to a speed at least 10% faster and pass them while riding on the tops or hoods with elbows locked. They will have no choice but to be super impressed by the sound of your Awesome.
- Being Casually Deliberate means this isn’t your first rodeo. Whether laying it down in a corner, flatting out of the lead group, or crossing the line with no one else in the photo, act like you’ve been there before.
- If you have crashed and are bleeding, this is the perfect time to pretend like you hardly noticed. Especially if there are cute members of the opposite sex around. Save poking at your wound and whimpering for the privacy of a remote bathroom devoid of any surveillance equipment.
Jacques concurs, but only just.
Fantastic. This is cycling’s equivalent of the Renaissance courtier’s pursuit of what we, with hopelessly-mistaken irony, call “acting natural.” This is grace, which can only be the effect of long practice, discipline, self-awareness, and a sense of good taste.
Hey, I read the article!
There are no words to describe just how much cool is contained in that photo…
I usually can’t stand the spell checkers but ” poking my wood in a remote bathroom” LMFAO!
@The Pressure
That was a good one, wasn’t it. I almost left it there after discovering the error because it was just so rock solid.
When I started the requisite band in college, my intention was to name it “Mourning Would”.
@frank I believe that’s already a neighborhood in Memphis.
^ Brilliant!!!
@G’rilla
Must not let good wood go to waste…
What about disguising the pain cave with a smile? It can be quite unnerving when others are following you into the pain cave. What about the Quintana “My face remains emotionless whether I am being dropped or doing the dropping” method?
Apologies Frank. I find it difficult to remain casually deliberate whilst sporting morning wood!
And you wonder why no one gets around to reading the articles.
Casually Delinquent — oblivious to cycling culture and the Rules therein.
If I pass another rider on a long climb, I find that a casual swig from the bidon while gently resting the other hand’s fingertips on the flat looks especially pro (and works well to hide my labored breathing).
Passing carbon whilst riding steel, especially up a big hill, always brings a hint of a smile to my face, but merely a hint. One should never gloat — just crush some dreams momentarily and move ahead.
You have won second prize in a casually deliberate contest! Collect $10.
@mhoffinator
I have this “trick” that I was taught by my HS cross country coach (who was good friends with Steve Prefontaine’s coach Bill Bowerman): control your breathing, control your expression. With all the zen you can muster (and this takes practice), chat up the guy next to you. Even if you can’t actually drop his ass, just appearing comfortable is incredibly demoralizing. Especially effective going uphill, or during a breakaway. I’ve used it to great effect over the years.
And I’ll just leave this here (since it’s the off season, things are going to digress with a quickness):
This place goes from the sublime to the ridiculous faster than I can fix a flat.
(That said, the Presbyterian girls I knew in HS were a) hawt, b) ready to go.)
@frank – excellent stuff. The current culture of spiking the ball and dancing in the end zone is the opposite of these hardmen of cycling. The me culture is downright gross. One of my former coaches definitely came form the college of deliberately casual knowledge – “don’t act like you have never been there before”.
Nairo Quintana in ‘commander mode’.
He really impressed me on that slope, I think this is a good example.
@unversio
This should be added to the Lexicon.
Missed one ….that’s the one and only Claudio Chiapucci to the left of Big Mig. Perhaps he smiled a bit too much whilst on the bike to be the epitome of casually deliberate but cool nonetheless.
@The Pressure
Congratulations. It took no more than 5 comments to get us WAY off topic. Excellent work that man!
@EricW
Conversely there’s nothing I enjoy more as I go carving down a long descent, than giving a sideways glance and slight smirk to someone who’s passed me on a long climb while taking a casual swig from their bidon.
@Pedale.Forchetta Great camera angle on this one. Quintana looks so small he almost appears to be riding a penny farthing. Is this one of your photos??
“Leaning on extended limbs is a guaranteed way to impart an air of relaxation”.. Ladies and Gentlemen, I give you 2013’s antithesis to Casually Deliberate….
Sorry for lowering the tone.
Some dude…..Casually Deliberate…..
Father of Cedric Pineau
@The Pressure
I think this is covered in point 3: Leaning on extended limbs is a guaranteed way to impart an air of relaxation.
depends on your “limb” definition
@frank Gianni Bugno in the far right is/was the less photogenic cyclist ever even if he was one of the coolest. A very odd combination…
@Mike_P He’s actually not very tall, by the way he was on a >20% bend there.
And yes, it’s one of my photos.
@Pedale.Forchetta
Pedale, here in Miami there are many Columbians and Nairo is revered! As he should be… I hope he is on form next year and I hope too that you will be there to catch it! At 57 kilos he should get an exemption on the weight of his bike.
Shades. I wear something over my eyes on every ride, that is one thing I don’t understand how dudes in the past rode without.
Morning Wood walled community – I hear the entrance criteria are rather stiff.
@Pedale.Forchetta
Nairo is a badass. I was trying to find a photo of when he Casually Deliberately took a bidon right from the motorbike while climbing in the break. I’ve searched, but failed to quickly find a photo of this TdF moment
@Ron now I wear shades all the time and it seems that if I forget something always gets in an eye. Back in the day I never used any eye protection and in all those races and kilometers I do not remember having any problems. In fact it was the few who had to wear glasses that seemed to have problems, mostly with fog/wet conditions.
If guys are going to rebadge parts and wheels and such, why not helmets? Just look at that photo – Horner’s helmet looks like the feared mushroom, while right next door that Rudy helmet looks darn good (even with the 3-Point Violation!).
@TBONE
Always worth a repost: Jacques Anquetil – the undisputed master of Casually Deliberate.
@Nate
@Nate
The peanut gallery really hit the mark, mate.
@scaler911
Covered in items 4 and 5 in the original Casually Deliberate article. You can really learn how to time the breathing with the story. Also, if you’re the one doing the talking, you can emphasize how well you’re doing by timing your questions in the easier bits and force the other rider to respond on the steep bits.
Its not a good time to start monologuing, though.
@G’rilla
Oh, I believe that’s near Clousta Twatt, near the intersection of Gropecunt and Sluts Hole Lanes.
@PeakInTwoYears
Just imagine what you could have done if you were tall enough to reach them.
@HMBSteve
Exactly.
@Mark_p
Excellent work!!
@Pedale.Forchetta
Top work, as usual. I am so jealous of your life, not to mention your skill with a camera.
@Rom
I just had to replace my phone after leaving it in the rain, now I’m looking down the business end of replacing my laptop too. The “Genius” at the Genius bar was skeptical that the water got under the screen “just by being in my pocket during a rain storm.
I doubt he’s going to buy my story about the espresso that just wound up inside my screen while sitting in my laptop case. Thanks for that.
@Mike_P
Oh believe you me, I am no grimpeur. Hence I have to fake the funk to look CD on the way up.
@Ron
I don’t wear slim shades with a cap on but I violate Rule #36 on occasion to go with the cap + Wayfarers in true hipster fashion.
@Pedale.Forchetta
Not photogenic? NOT PHOTOGENIC? What is this madness?
I bought these same green-lensed Bollé’s just to look like him.
More exhibits for consideration.
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He was my favorite of the era, with Cappuccino (as LeMond called him) my second favorite. He was so smooth on the bike; so smooth, actually, that I always wondered if it was a bit forced, like maybe if he let his body move just a bit more he would have gone faster.
“Some dude” appears to have Morning Wood in the lead photo
@Pedale.Forchetta
Bring back the hairnet!
@frank I thought Clousta Twatt was where the members of Congress met?
Personally, I’ve always been a fan of Scunthorpe.
@frank
Oh, you big bully!
Big Mig (not Mig Mig) is rockin the Bill Dance look.