Look Pro: The V Tenets of the Casually Deliberate

Chiapucci, Big Mig, some dude, Riis, and Bugno: class is in session.

A Velominatus gives the impression of having been born on the bike; the connection between rider and machine is so deeply entrenched that one can hardly draw the line where one ends and the other begins. There is an air of relaxed precision that is part innate and part learned through countless hours devoted to the craft of riding a bicycle batshit fast.

A Pedalwan will be quick to seek emulation of this characteristic, and in the spirit of Rule #3, it is our duty to impart upon you the five tenets of the Casually Deliberate.

First, it is crucial that under no circumstances do you permit yourself to smile. If you are about to win the Tour de France for the first time, it is acceptable to momentarily smirk but expect to be met with raised eyebrows by your peers should you allow this to occur. Also don’t scowl because no one likes a crabby pants.
Casual people are cool people, and cool people wear shades. If it worked for Axl Rose, it can work for you. Also, sunglasses are handy for covering up any redness in your eyes that you got from crying through the end of Playing for Keeps.
Leaning on extended limbs is a guaranteed way to impart an air of relaxation, a crucial element to being Casually Deliberate. This effect is heightened the faster you are going. When passing a slower rider, ensure you accelerate to a speed at least 10% faster and pass them while riding on the tops or hoods with elbows locked. They will have no choice but to be super impressed by the sound of your Awesome.
Being Casually Deliberate means this isn’t your first rodeo. Whether laying it down in a corner, flatting out of the lead group, or crossing the line with no one else in the photo, act like you’ve been there before.
If you have crashed and are bleeding, this is the perfect time to pretend like you hardly noticed. Especially if there are cute members of the opposite sex around. Save poking at your wound and whimpering for the privacy of a remote bathroom devoid of any surveillance equipment.

frank

The founder of Velominati and curator of The Rules, Frank was born in the Dutch colonies of Minnesota. His boundless physical talents are carefully canceled out by his equally boundless enthusiasm for drinking. Coffee, beer, wine, if it’s in a container, he will enjoy it, a lot of it. He currently lives in Seattle. He loves riding in the rain and scheduling visits with the Man with the Hammer just to be reminded of the privilege it is to feel completely depleted. He holds down a technology job the description of which no-one really understands and his interests outside of Cycling and drinking are Cycling and drinking. As devoted aesthete, the only thing more important to him than riding a bike well is looking good doing it. Frank is co-author along with the other Keepers of the Cog of the popular book, The Rules, The Way of the Cycling Disciple and also writes a monthly column for the magazine, Cyclist. He is also currently working on the first follow-up to The Rules, tentatively entitled The Hardmen. Email him directly at rouleur@velominati.com.

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View Comments

Pedale.Forchetta says:

Nov 5 2013 at 5:15 am

@Mike_P He's actually not very tall, by the way he was on a >20% bend there.

And yes, it's one of my photos.
Rob says:

Nov 5 2013 at 5:39 am

@Pedale.Forchetta

Nairo Quintana in 'commander mode'.

He really impressed me on that slope, I think this is a good example.

Pedale, here in Miami there are many Columbians and Nairo is revered! As he should be... I hope he is on form next year and I hope too that you will be there to catch it! At 57 kilos he should get an exemption on the weight of his bike.
Ron says:

Nov 5 2013 at 7:20 am

Shades. I wear something over my eyes on every ride, that is one thing I don't understand how dudes in the past rode without.

Morning Wood walled community - I hear the entrance criteria are rather stiff.
Tartan1749 says:

Nov 5 2013 at 7:36 am

@Pedale.Forchetta

Nairo Quintana in 'commander mode'.

He really impressed me on that slope, I think this is a good example.

Nairo is a badass. I was trying to find a photo of when he Casually Deliberately took a bidon right from the motorbike while climbing in the break. I've searched, but failed to quickly find a photo of this TdF moment
Rob says:

Nov 5 2013 at 7:41 am

@Ron now I wear shades all the time and it seems that if I forget something always gets in an eye. Back in the day I never used any eye protection and in all those races and kilometers I do not remember having any problems. In fact it was the few who had to wear glasses that seemed to have problems, mostly with fog/wet conditions.
Lukas says:

Nov 5 2013 at 8:15 am

Is it casually deliberate when one's natural poker face is a hint of a smile? Especially when one is on the way to spitting all the young fellas out the back? Note only one of these riders is anywhere close to smiling. It is the old dude. I must admit as a fellow Oregonian and old guy, I have a soft spot for Horner.
Ron says:

Nov 5 2013 at 8:51 am

If guys are going to rebadge parts and wheels and such, why not helmets? Just look at that photo - Horner's helmet looks like the feared mushroom, while right next door that Rudy helmet looks darn good (even with the 3-Point Violation!).
wiscot says:

Nov 5 2013 at 9:24 am

@TBONE

Jacques concurs, but only just.

Always worth a repost: Jacques Anquetil - the undisputed master of Casually Deliberate.
frank says:

Nov 5 2013 at 9:51 am

@Nate

Hey, I read the article!

@Nate

And you wonder why no one gets around to reading the articles.

The peanut gallery really hit the mark, mate.
frank says:

Nov 5 2013 at 9:57 am

@scaler911

@mhoffinator

Passing carbon whilst riding steel, especially up a big hill, always brings a hint of a smile to my face, but merely a hint. One should never gloat "” just crush some dreams momentarily and move ahead.

I have this "trick" that I was taught by my HS cross country coach (who was good friends with Steve Prefontaine's coach Bill Bowerman): control your breathing, control your expression. With all the zen you can muster (and this takes practice), chat up the guy next to you. Even if you can't actually drop his ass, just appearing comfortable is incredibly demoralizing. Especially effective going uphill, or during a breakaway. I've used it to great effect over the years.

Covered in items 4 and 5 in the original Casually Deliberate article. You can really learn how to time the breathing with the story. Also, if you're the one doing the talking, you can emphasize how well you're doing by timing your questions in the easier bits and force the other rider to respond on the steep bits.

Its not a good time to start monologuing, though.