It only takes the most cursory glance through the Lexicon to realize that we have a special love for nicknames here at Velominati. I’m not sure what it is that compels us to call things by some made-up name instead of the actual ones; it almost seems like we’re bragging that we know something well enough to screw up it’s moniker. Which, of course, is ridiculous since in most cases we have no idea what we’re talking about.
We’re not alone in this absurd practice, however. People the world over rush to attach a nickname to riders; The Cannibal, the Badger, Le Professeur, Il Pirata, Der Kaiser; fans seem frenetic in their quest to give their favorite riders a more meaningful label. Sometimes the names stick, and sometimes they don’t. Miguel Indurain is one of the riders with whom monikers didn’t seem to agree; iteration after iteration passed by with the adherance of Teflon, and really only after his career ended did the name “Big Mig” start to take purchase.
There definitely seems to be a correlation between the toughness of a rider and our desire to attach a label to them. Fabian Cancellara is a good example of this, and his nickname of “Spartacus” is rather fitting. By that logic, however, I struggle to understand why we don’t have a better nickname for Jens Voigt, commonly considered the hardest man in cycling. Look at this picture: he’s dribbled Rule #5 concentrate all over his leg. The closest we’ve come to a nickname is “Der Jens”, and – although I’m not arguing against gravitas of meriting a pronoun – I’m surprised that we seem to be better at coming up with nicknames for the objects he runs into than we are at coming up with one for him.
Maybe he’s just a little too mystical; a little too hard, a little too nice, to have a nickname stick. In any case, I can appreciate the symbolism that his last name starts with the V.
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@ben
JENS!!
@all
Finishing up my hard ride this evening - up Queen Anne at tempo then around to the steep cobbled hills for 7 repeats on the stones, I was coming up Fremont Hill (4-6ish percent, a good "Frank" gradient, not too steep) and was hardly able to pass this guy on a MOUNTAIN BIKE, pulling a TRAILER. Granted, I was Training Properly and doing maybe 22kph tops and not drilling it, but as I passed him, I said, "Nice job, man!". He mumbled something to me in German before latching onto my wheel to the top of the hill. ON A MOUNTAIN BIKE WITH A TRAILER.
I'm pretty sure it was JENS!'s brother.
In terms of monikers for JENS, I suppose if you really wanted to associate JENS with The V, then you could just simply call him "The V" - pronounced "The Five" for the uninitiated. That way, it works nicely two ways since "V" is both the first letter of his last name (and it looks good in print, e.g. "The V dropped those douchebags on the last climb like they were riding beach cruisers"), but also whenever we contemplate The V (professional cyclist), we are also reminded of The V (the Velomiskrit symbol for Rule 5) and vice versa.
I do admit that this takes JENS up a notch or two and this honor may be challenged by fellow Keepers who do not believe he is worthy, but I offer it up for consideration, unattached to the outcome.
Gotta throw in a shoutout for the other man pictured... After years of watching Chavanel do some really stupid stuff in GT's, and not quite understanding why he did it, he really showed himself to be a hardman this year. Respect!
As others may have implied, his first name alone stands out & evanesces dedication and toughness; Jens is *nail*. Bernard or Laurent were not strong enough as names and maybe too common for us wee French; even Anquetil needed Maitre Jacques (the nickname for my track frame as well, but I digress). But Jens is Jens and is unique.
All, cue corny music and so on, but...
I reckon part of sport's allure is it's similarity at some level to battle. And part of the the allure of our particular sport is the clear and present evidence of people doing stuff that is heroic. Admittedly we're talking insignificant shadows of nothings of actual heroism and battles when actually compared to people under fire (be it in war, or policing or whatever), but at the same time, the willingness to sacrifice oneself is heroic. And in cycling you see the sacrifice happen, and see the slow internal explosion that the person is inflicting upon themselves take place over several minutes, so you have the time to truly admire the sacrifice.
And Jens does this. Repeatedly.
It's actually this that put me so heavily on the Banged&Felled bandwagon. Last year's Tour saw him supplanted as his team's leader on the road by a cocky bastard oozing talent, but not class. Then on the Queen Stage he is the man who flogged himself to keep Wiggo (and unfortunately Lance doing the wheel suck of all wheel sucks) in contention. To see VDV drill it until he was turning squares, then grovel his way back up to them as it flattened out, go straight to the front and do it all again was something else. VDV vs Brothers Grimp, and slowly losing touch, but still giving it everything. Super cool. You just have to love that about bike racing!
And Jens does it time and time again.
As an aside, did you lot know of the Jens Voigt Ring? Clearly alluding to cycling on another plane, but in Dassow, Germany, they have located a weak point between our dimension and that other place...
http://maps.google.com/maps?q=where+is+jens+voigt+strasse&oe=utf-8&rls=org.mozilla:en-US:official&client=firefox-a&um=1&ie=UTF-8&ei=12GHTKjaNJPQ4waoyI3jAw&sa=X&oi=mode_link&ct=mode&ved=0CAkQ_AU
Looking forward to the first person actually going there to pay homage on the bike! Photos much appreciated!
Yeah, don't get me wrong, JENS! is cool, and I like him a lot. I just wanted to see the reactions, and I'm a little disappointed that no-one at least called me a COTHO! Agree with Sgt, Chavanel is fucking nail too. Gilabert though, no contest, hard as fuck. But PvP will always be at the top of my list, he could drop other men on the cobbles just by looking at them with those cold, black eyes.
@ brett: perhaps we are a bit too respectful for now, so sorry for the overlooked rebut, I was late in the chase here
@ben and Hawkeye: Amerckx brother!! that just brings a tear to my eye.
For you pussies out there that say JENS is not a hardman, I have one thing to say and example to offer for your consideration. Any man 38 y/o who serves as he has in the peloton, and who went down like he did this year in the TdF and broke some ribs and says "I am riding to Paris, I am too close and afterall BROKEN RIBS ARE OVERRATED!". Are you kidding me, this guy is unreal. He scoffs at pain. He is not human. He is a freaking stud and we have him as our ambassador and it makes me proud.
Any sport would do well to have him, if the NFL had him, he would be a billionaire. If boxing, he would be a star. But he is ours, and I for one only hope and pray for a drip of his sweat to anoint my head as a blessing as I may ride like he does in the future, drilling it off the front making the entire peloton reel back in pain or riding like an incindiary dog off the front in a breakaway KNOWING it won't last. But smiling seeing the pain on others faces.
Jens is a proper hardnut ; theres no doubt about that. Jens in a pedal revolution way as opposed to a bare knuckle way!
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lenny_McLean
I think rule 5 would make Lenny smile.
Maybe Jens and Eddy could get in the ring for the all time Rule 5 Moniker of
"The Guv'nor" ?
Gents,
You may be interested in this:
http://road.cc/content/news/22942-eurobike-2010-video-roadcc-interviews-jens-voigt