It only takes the most cursory glance through the Lexicon to realize that we have a special love for nicknames here at Velominati. I’m not sure what it is that compels us to call things by some made-up name instead of the actual ones; it almost seems like we’re bragging that we know something well enough to screw up it’s moniker. Which, of course, is ridiculous since in most cases we have no idea what we’re talking about.
We’re not alone in this absurd practice, however. People the world over rush to attach a nickname to riders; The Cannibal, the Badger, Le Professeur, Il Pirata, Der Kaiser; fans seem frenetic in their quest to give their favorite riders a more meaningful label. Sometimes the names stick, and sometimes they don’t. Miguel Indurain is one of the riders with whom monikers didn’t seem to agree; iteration after iteration passed by with the adherance of Teflon, and really only after his career ended did the name “Big Mig” start to take purchase.
There definitely seems to be a correlation between the toughness of a rider and our desire to attach a label to them. Fabian Cancellara is a good example of this, and his nickname of “Spartacus” is rather fitting. By that logic, however, I struggle to understand why we don’t have a better nickname for Jens Voigt, commonly considered the hardest man in cycling. Look at this picture: he’s dribbled Rule #5 concentrate all over his leg. The closest we’ve come to a nickname is “Der Jens”, and – although I’m not arguing against gravitas of meriting a pronoun – I’m surprised that we seem to be better at coming up with nicknames for the objects he runs into than we are at coming up with one for him.
Maybe he’s just a little too mystical; a little too hard, a little too nice, to have a nickname stick. In any case, I can appreciate the symbolism that his last name starts with the V.
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"He is also wonderfully outspoken, entertaining, and humble."
Yep, beyond his hardness (or lack of it, as some of you see it), this is what makes me appreciate and cheer for him. So many professional athletes are these stiff, curt, unlikeable characters with nothing to say but spit out a string of cliches. Jens (JENS!) is funny, gives good interviews, and seemingly loves riding a bike for a living. He's been doing it for years now, but he still seems to have a good time and can smile and laugh. That's what I really like about him. Heck, half of the people I ride group rides with could take a cue from him and loosen up and have more fun cycling.
I like just calling him R5.
Class act... pretty rare these days.
His constant smile and upbeat attitude have to drive some of the other riders crazy. I would certainly be annoyed. Imagine chasing him for four plus hours, you are spent, dirty, hungry, grumpy, you name it, and this joker Jens is smiling and laughing away like it was just a ride in the park. Everyone knows somebody like that and depending on your mood you just want to throttle them from time to time.
"You've got all the blood in your legs and nothing in your brain." Funny shit.
Anybody notice that the new Cervelo is called an R5? Coincidence? I think not.
@Omar
Ha! Yeah, I think so; I couldn't remember where that came from but knew I'd seen it somewhere. Although the definition here is slightly different from yours, I suppose, which focussed on the berries.
@Samuel
It's perfect! He's totally the Schleck's bodyguard!
@Ron, @Cyclops
Indeed an interesting intervention of the Velominati Ethos. I never thought I'd covet another bike, but I may need to make an exception here.
@pakrat
Ah, the "undownable upper" can be a frustrating thing. Sometimes, I just need people to be pissed off along with me.
Looks like Der Jens will dishing it out at least one more season.
http://velonews.competitor.com/2010/09/news/jens-voigt-says-hell-be-back-for-one-more-year_142377
"I laid there for a second on the ground and said, 'Fuck that hurts,' and then, 'Fuck, I'm going to get up, I'm going to get up, I'm not going to let this happen because to abandon the Tour for me leaves a bad taste, like I'm a failure. You're not there for your teammates, you're one working piece left for the boys."
And lastly, "It's not getting easier with the age," he said. "But let me put it this way: I'm going to be the last person to give it up for free. They've got to ride faster than me. It's not a question of age, it's a question of quality."
The German joked that he had "quite successfully stopped the aging process. Anytime the age creeps up on me and hits me on the ass, I turn around and kick it back for another year."
Damn straight!
Beauty: Age crept up on Jens, but Jens attacked and dropped it.
@pakrat, @Steampunk
I've been buried in a pit of "working my ass off" for a day and come back to this. Merckx, I love all you guys. I feel like Jens rejoining the grupetto. Like that, except a big pussy.
Have you seen this? Click the photo or refresh the page.
@michael
Chuck Norris wears Jens Voigt pajamas and Sharks have a Jens Voigt Week. Priceless.
The 12 minutes of interview Jens has in the movie Chasing Legends is worth the purchase price alone. He puts things in perspective perfectly.
I don't know of anyone else in cycling as popular. Everyone you speak to has an opinion on Jens and it's always - ALWAYS - a strong positive.
Just think - we have been alive, with a cycling conscience, in a time of this guy. We will tell our kids about Jens, and we will tell them fondly.
We need more guys like this. I hope he becomes a commentator when he retires in a few years. That would be the best gift he could give back to us.