Musings from the Darkness
Reality is always an unpleasant surprise; no one wants to see ourselves the way others see us, and that’s for good reason, too: depression would be much more widespread problem if each of us realized what a pain in the ass we are. Speaking of unpleasant realities, after recently reviewing videos of myself speaking, I have deduced that I have the face for radio, the hand gesticulations for both Mime and Cheerleading (neither for which I have an ambition), and the voice for print. That leaves me with the Internet.
A long commute to work in darkness is a surreal experience. The early hour leaves the road vacant, and the rider is confined to the small cone of light beyond which exists only blackness. The mind settles into the vampire state of wandering a being alert all at once. Thoughts of the day’s work will lay somewhere on the periphery; not front of mind, yet inexorably nearer with every stroke of the pedals. The rain and cold amplify the effect.
Strange thoughts are thought in this state, not unlike those you might have just as you catch yourself falling asleep. The first paragraph of this article is a fine example of such a thought. For this, I ask your forgiveness.
The commute presents its own challenge, new obstacles to overcome. The wet winter commute sandwiches the workday like two soggy slices of bread. One finds very quickly that it is not the cold, the dark or the wet that is unpleasant; it is the sodden kit hanging in a locker all day not getting fresher that is unpleasant.
This morning looked dry from the bedroom window, a terrible place from which to judge the weather. Rain was in the forecast (this is Seattle and January, after all), so I slipped into my Gabba jersey as easily as James Bond slips into a dinner jacket. I stepped outside and noted that it would be nice if the weather stayed dry for the ride in so the kit might be more pleasant when dressing for the evening’s ride home.
I should know better than to think such thoughts; the rain was summoned immediately by the Nine Gods to remind me that the Glory of Rule #9 is not chosen at the rider’s convenience or whim. Fool.
Riding with a backpack is a nuisance. As Velominati, we have refined our position and learned to control the bike through micro-movements and immeasurable shifts of body weight. The gear-loaded backpack is a sledgehammer to our china cup of balance. Our position feels off, the bike handles differently, and we are heavier by two kilos at least. This, along with every other reason you can think of why backpacks suck, is more than enough to encourage one to avoid the climbs, especially the steep ones.
But there is a beauty behind the nuisance: climbing with a heavy load is like training in a fat suit. Seek out the hardest climbs and the next time you ride without a pack, you will feel as though you were given wings. Instant morale.
Love this. I have a 25 mile commute in, in the mornings, and 12 on the route home. I have exactly the same feelings – eyes alert, the gentle whoosh of wind around the backpack, the quiet roads. Solitude at 20 miles an hour is way underrated
@EricW
That is some serious tectonic activity throughout the course of a working day!
Hmm, my commute is never lonely, I don’t think the roads of London are ever quiet, but there is difference in the dark. As you state, we are confined to the small cone of road ahead – is that puddle hiding a pot-hole, will that plastic bag get wrapped in the rear mech and is that stupid fucking driver that’s just overtaken me with inches to spare going to suddenly turn left?
For the brief period that I commuted (#2 child now gets the train to school so riding to the station isn’t an option) I defiled the bike (my commuter is also my #1 and my nine bike) with a rack and panier. My back is too old and stuffed to ride anywhere with a backpack.I’m doing this for real at the moment. Had a health test at my gym yesterday which included a body fat percentage test. I failed, badly, and since it was carried out using callipers there’s no grounds for an appeal. 32%.
Have been off the bike for the last 10 months and have just evoked the rule of N+1 for a CX ride. Yesterday was the first of many to come early morning commutes for the 25 miles on trails to the work, sans backpack. At least in my months off the bike I’ve had the presence of mind to kit up the office with a locker and all the necessities to allow a ride in, quick shower and change, grab a coffee and walk straight into the morning meetings.
And I’ll thank you not to mention my fat suit again.
Nothing like slipping into a wet kit for a cold ride home. Frank, you nailed the worst part of a wet commute perfectly!
For about a year I was at an office where I could commute to work by bike. I used to really look forward to getting up in the morning and going to the office. Now I have to commute round the M25 and I hate getting up in the morning and going to the office. The work is the same.
I have luxury. My commuter bike has mudguards and a rack (hey, it’s a dedicated machine- might as well set it up properly) and at work as well as a shower there’s a heated towel rail, ideal for kit drying. Keep the everyday luggage to a minimum, I can carry two week’s worth of work clothes in the panniers… so I do.
@Nik
Not just a wet commute but any commute when you are ether forced to work hard (the perennial head wind or the inevitability of always having left home five minutes later than you should have) or choose to (those of us who find it hard to ride a bike in other manner than full gas for the given distance).
It’s worse if you then have to sit on a cold train for 45 minutes before riding a Boris bike to the office. That’s a guaranteed way to get a chill. (The plus side being that you’re unlikely to end up sat next to some fat slug who can’t text or facebook without waving their elbows about making that crucial half hour nap all but impossible).
The other advantage of commuting to work is the “two jacket trick”. You have to leave a work jacket at work so you leave that over the back of your chair and the unknowing assume that you work late/early as you always have your jacket over your chair when they arrive/leave. You do need to alternate jackets every so often though to keep the ruse going.
@Al__S
*shudders*
I’ve got the Nederaap set up as a genuine commuter but for a commute that doubles as a training ride, anything short of genuine road bike is something I cannot abide.
@Chris
Its funny, a day at the office can be good or bad, but depending on whether it was exothermic or endothermic (meaning whether the day left me with energy to burn off) is what seems to have the biggest impact on whether I want to crush it or not. After a day that’s left me drained, a mellow ride home is the best way to feel human again – and after a day that’s left you rarin’, the crushing ride is the best remedy to be a pleasant companion back at the house.
Fucking story of my life; not on trains, but on planes. JAYSUS.
@frank
Sat around on a plane in sweaty, steamin’ kit?! Fuck Frank, that’s taking commuting a bit far. Leave the bike at home on the days you’ve got to fly for business.
If on the other hand you’re talking about the fat slugs elbowing you on the plane, I was out of order with that one. While I’m officially a fat shite, I’m going to have to be a lot more tolerant of the cunts.
@frank
This is so true, sometimes I’ve go to take myself off to the garage to knock out a quick 2 x 20 to ensure that I’m not going to be a grumpy turd for the evening.
You need to raise your seat up dude.
Never mind the weather, look at that bike. The saddle is up in the clouds and the bars are slammed down as far as possible. You are either 21 years old or a danged contortionist, but probably both. even the pros have less vertical distance between saddle and bars.
(west country accent): that @Dave, he be new around these parts.
@davidlhill
oo arrrr, reet true thar art.
@Dave
Waaallllll…………..we know he ain’t 21.
@Al__S
I’m going to agree with you and disagree with Frank on this one. Form follows function for working machines. I just moved to WA for work and don’t have a car for the first few months, and I doubt my office mate would appreciate used kit hanging out next to her desk all day. I went out and bought myself a Giant Escape — 700×32 tires, fenders, a rack, a bell, the works. It even has a triple for when I’m hauling groceries home in the panniers. Must weigh 30 pounds without any cargo.
Sure, it violates plenty of rules. But I look at it this way: I’d rather have a machine that fills a need than shoehorn a machine into a role for which it wasn’t built. One thing is for sure, though, it will be better than any backpack or fat suit when I get back on the #1 come spring. I’ll feel like Superman.
As a nod to being a roadie, I did flop the stem. Have to have some standards.
@Teocalli
I doubt you even need to change the suit jacket
http://www.smh.com.au/entertainment/tv-and-radio/karl-stefanovics-sexism-suit-test-on-today-a-show-of-support-says-lisa-wilkinson-20141117-11o43e.html
@markb
It is a scary world where you can physically observe the child driving the car that passes you with one hand on the wheel, one one the phone doing whatever it is that is more urgent than driving.
@EricW
It’s a beautiful way to start and end the day for sure; especially when you use compliant measurement units.
@Teocalli
Nothing says “productive member of society” like sitting in traffic. Also, there are few sensations more satisfying than rolling by a long queue of stopped cars in the rain.
@Magilla
The office locker room is a necessity. That said I am envious of having a commute that merits the cx bike. Crossbone!
@Teocalli
Not meant in a negative way, just a mildly humorous comment on how flexible anyone would have to be for that set up – way more than me, that’s for sure. Now that I am in my mid-sixties, the bar keeps creeping a little higher every year.
I’ve been reading posts on this blog for something like a couple years now, but I never posted a comment. I must admit, you have some pretty good writers in your group.
@Teocalli
It’s genius.
@Chris
+1
@davidlhill, @Teocalli
Solid gold right the there. If I had the foresight to allow more than one +1 badge it would be on the bof o’ youse.
@Dave
Ah, the return of Carnac the Magnificent of Internet Bike Fitting! This is my favorite Velominati game; post up a picture of my bike and wait for it.
@Dave
No negativity taken, any excuse for a small pop at @frank is usually jumped on with glee.
Welcome by the way.
This backpack thing just may have wings. I had this idiot idea as a kid to strap weights all over myself to become really strong (to be a super hero after all). It didn’t quite pan out (nor did those X-ray glasses I ordered from the comic book ads), so I’ve had to settle for a more mundane job. It doesn’t afford me the opportunity to commute by bike unfortunately, so I have to turn to those moments on the bike to be the super hero (compared to the great unwashed, obese masses, otherwise known as voters in the next election).
Had older office where the bike room had some large air conditioning gear in it, made it a bit nosiy but I don’t think the bikes cared and you could always dry your gear out before the ride home.
Moved to newer offices and now the bikes share with waste bins and there’s nowhere to dry gear.
So much for progress.
@frank
Agreed. I’ve figured out that I can do any journey (over a couple of Km) in London at any time of day quicker by bike than by car & that included a 30km journey @ 5am on a Sunday morning. BTW, if my work expect me to start work at such a stupid time then they can damm well put up with me wearing my cycling kit to dry it out. PCs are also good for drying out wet overshoes & if you’re really lucky you can get it to short out so you can go home early. (CRTs were the best for drying out kit, but these new-fangled flat screens are crap)
@Teocalli
@Teocalli
I ride 30k to work and back throughout the year, which means my 6.45am ride is in darkness for a good portion of the winter. For me the dark commute has an extra element to it which is not present in the carefree commutes of June, but I can’t put my finger on it. It’s a niggle, a question, a doubt that just isn’t there in the summer; and although I don’t know exactly what it is I do know that it makes the winter commute more difficult, and therefore more noble.
I saw some electric shoe driers online somewhere. That seems a good idea. Also, computer fans make excellent clothes dryers.
WRT the backpack weight thing: I recently discovered research into transcranial magnetic stimulation (work ends up going in strange directions sometimes and yeah, this sounds like voodoo). It turns out you can improve cognitive performance by using magnets is very specific places, but also you can impede cognition with magnets in other places. However, there is some evidence that if you force yourself to do mentally hard tasks while your cognition is impeded then it improves performance after you remove the magnets. Basically they are backpacks for your brain!
@frank
Frank’s +1 badge skills are questionable at best, he might award one but handing it over is a different matter.
@frank
@Dave
We’ve all had a crack at Frank about his set-up at some point or other. Obviously we were all wrong because it seems to work pretty well for him.
@Oli
Along with “anybody who follows the rules” and variations thereof, it’s a pretty common first/early post. And just as pointless.
Having said that, @Dave, it doesn’t make Frank any less of a freak.
@Chris
I think it’s a myth, a bit like the Golden Fleece.
@Owen
A bit of digging on velominati.com will reveal that @Frank has an around-town bike with mustache bars. Mustache bars. Meditate on that for a moment.
So far as I can divine, the rules apply to your road machine in a recreational/competitive context. As such, I’ve not the slightest compunction about gross rule violations when I’m using my bike as pure transport/utility. My commute is 39km one-way, and a pure road machine is the wrong tool for the job save on the nicest of days. Carradice EPMS? Check. YJA? Check. Walkable shoes with SPD cleats? Check. Sit-up-and-beg geometry? Uh, no, fuck that. Fenders? Check. (Fenders, despite common misconception to the contrary, are not in violation of the rules).
On the chaingang, this would all be unthinkable, of course.
@antihero @Dave
It’s all about what you allow yourself.
@Ccos
Those x-ray glasses were a fresh disappointment every time, weren’t they? I ordered a pair, then a mate in the hopes that the newer model worked, and so on.
Your weight idea is better than my idea to develop Force skills by tying a string to objects and trying to snap them into my hands.
@markpa
I leave the bike in my office. Its a good talking point for anyone who comes in, and then I get to gaze at it adoringly while on conference calls.
@markb
One of the disappointments of the advancement of technology is that none of this stuff generates any heat. My MBP would be virtually worthless when it comes to drying anything out.
@Grimpeur
I really like that. Nice.
@Chris
Saying +1 is not the same as awarding the badge. You need to do something extra special good.
@The Grande Fondue
I keep a pair of them at home to dry out my shoes overnight; I suppose I could pick up another to keep at the office…They work great.
I love this.
@Oli
Is this the same Oli? If so, the lobotomy seems to have been a great success!
@antihero
Not to mention a front basket.
I can’t understand why you would put guitars on your bike.
my club has a “full length rear mudguard/fender” rule for winter, due to the absolutely filthy state of the roads in these parts. In group riding, this isn’t for your own protection, it’s for the guy on your wheel…
@antihero
A bit of digging on velominati.com will reveal that @Frank has an around-town bike with mustache bars. Mustache bars. Meditate on that for a moment.
You don’t say. Surely that’s a sign of the apocalypse. And a basket to boot! My stars. Good to know that the Rules apply to road steeds and not working bikes. It does occur to me, however, that even on the commuters we should strive to look fantastic. As I said, we do need to have some standards.
Wow. Some emotional stuff here. Sounds like a little side order of htfu might help. Chin up, buddy. It’s been a warm winter.
@neal
Yeah 60F and all sun today. I saw blossoms on a tree today and sprouts in the garden. Those little honkers are in for a rude surprise when the Mercury drops again!
@frank
That was the kind of weather NOAA forecast for us on the Oly Pen today.
Lying fucks.
But it was a damned sight (whatever the fuck a damned sight is) better than last weekend.
@PeakInTwoYears
Wull ah seen it herd a hunnerd times, to put it to you in Oly Pen terms. Also to play off the redneck thing the Brits were doing earlier.
if the forecast was wrong, you just need to move to the part of the state where they try harder to get it right.
It was a challenging day, aside from the weather, which wasn’t completely awful in the end. We actually drove the bikes into town from the ranch so’s we could trade some bullets for a bucket of chinking for the logs of our cabin, and then having concluded business over whiskey and a knife-fight, we come to find out that the Missus has brought her mountain bike shoes, which just don’t seem to get along with the Speedplays on her road bike. Big change of plans. Ride from the ranch in the opposite direction, where one of us flatted every 15 kilo meeters on account of all the Satanic effluvient secreted on the side of the road. It all ended well, but it was a sore trial at times.