Categories: EtiquetteMusings from the V-BunkerRiding UglyTradition

Musings from the Darkness

The machine that cuts a path through the darkness.

Reality is always an unpleasant surprise; no one wants to see ourselves the way others see us, and that’s for good reason, too: depression would be much more widespread problem if each of us realized what a pain in the ass we are. Speaking of unpleasant realities, after recently reviewing videos of myself speaking, I have deduced that I have the face for radio, the hand gesticulations for both Mime and Cheerleading (neither for which I have an ambition), and the voice for print. That leaves me with the Internet.

A long commute to work in darkness is a surreal experience. The early hour leaves the road vacant, and the rider is confined to the small cone of light beyond which exists only blackness. The mind settles into the vampire state of wandering a being alert all at once. Thoughts of the day’s work will lay somewhere on the periphery; not front of mind, yet inexorably nearer with every stroke of the pedals. The rain and cold amplify the effect.

Strange thoughts are thought in this state, not unlike those you might have just as you catch yourself falling asleep. The first paragraph of this article is a fine example of such a thought. For this, I ask your forgiveness.

The commute presents its own challenge, new obstacles to overcome. The wet winter commute sandwiches the workday like two soggy slices of bread. One finds very quickly that it is not the cold, the dark or the wet that is unpleasant; it is the sodden kit hanging in a locker all day not getting fresher that is unpleasant.

This morning looked dry from the bedroom window, a terrible place from which to judge the weather. Rain was in the forecast (this is Seattle and January, after all), so I slipped into my Gabba jersey as easily as James Bond slips into a dinner jacket. I stepped outside and noted that it would be nice if the weather stayed dry for the ride in so the kit might be more pleasant when dressing for the evening’s ride home.

I should know better than to think such thoughts; the rain was summoned immediately by the Nine Gods to remind me that the Glory of Rule #9 is not chosen at the rider’s convenience or whim. Fool.

Riding with a backpack is a nuisance. As Velominati, we have refined our position and learned to control the bike through micro-movements and immeasurable shifts of body weight. The gear-loaded backpack is a sledgehammer to our china cup of balance. Our position feels off, the bike handles differently, and we are heavier by two kilos at least. This, along with every other reason you can think of why backpacks suck, is more than enough to encourage one to avoid the climbs, especially the steep ones.

But there is a beauty behind the nuisance: climbing with a heavy load is like training in a fat suit. Seek out the hardest climbs and the next time you ride without a pack, you will feel as though you were given wings. Instant morale.

frank

The founder of Velominati and curator of The Rules, Frank was born in the Dutch colonies of Minnesota. His boundless physical talents are carefully canceled out by his equally boundless enthusiasm for drinking. Coffee, beer, wine, if it’s in a container, he will enjoy it, a lot of it. He currently lives in Seattle. He loves riding in the rain and scheduling visits with the Man with the Hammer just to be reminded of the privilege it is to feel completely depleted. He holds down a technology job the description of which no-one really understands and his interests outside of Cycling and drinking are Cycling and drinking. As devoted aesthete, the only thing more important to him than riding a bike well is looking good doing it. Frank is co-author along with the other Keepers of the Cog of the popular book, The Rules, The Way of the Cycling Disciple and also writes a monthly column for the magazine, Cyclist. He is also currently working on the first follow-up to The Rules, tentatively entitled The Hardmen. Email him directly at rouleur@velominati.com.

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View Comments

tessar says:

Jan 27 2015 at 12:53 am

@DCR

Living in the high desert is a very different life. It's the 42*C rides home where you feel that every breath sears the sand to your throat and the already thin air of 1600m above sea level seems to suffocate you even more so.

But on the bright side! (and I am not referring to the 278 days of sunshine in a year) Rust is never an issue.

...but tyres drying out is, and tubes melting into the clincher to make a defacto tubular. Fine sand is far worse than rust, too. It gets everywhere, there's no running away from it.
sthilzy says:

Jan 27 2015 at 12:57 am

@Barracuda

Listen to all you A holes spruking about office showers and lockers. I would give my COTHO left one to work at my office with a shower facility and lockers.

Any tricks of the trade for us office workers without said luxuries but still trying to find ways to commute by bike.

Me too. I ride in half hour early for a sponge wipe down in the kitchenette, hang sweat wet kit over bike to dry during the day and spray on a generous amount of Brut 33. No one has complained yet, so must be riding in alright.
RobSandy says:

Jan 27 2015 at 1:20 am

@sthilzy

@Barracuda

Listen to all you A holes spruking about office showers and lockers. I would give my COTHO left one to work at my office with a shower facility and lockers.

Any tricks of the trade for us office workers without said luxuries but still trying to find ways to commute by bike.

Me too. I ride in half hour early for a sponge wipe down in the kitchenette, hang sweat wet kit over bike to dry during the day and spray on a generous amount of Brut 33. No one has complained yet, so must be riding in alright.

We have half-finished showers in our offices now, but I actually don't think I'll use them for my commute (it's only 5k). I may use them if I fit in a pre-work velodrome session or a lunchtime blast though.
rfreese888 says:

Jan 27 2015 at 3:30 am

@ Frank - perfect timing!

I have been away on a 30 day meditation course and just back today on Serse (Fausto's brother and gregario) for the daily commute. Serse is going to get a new frame as part of my stealth 9 bike upgrade this month i.e. have been switching out components throughout the year and will finish the job with the frame soon. Therefore I say to my Mrs, 'it's not a new bike, just a frame'.

Current regime is tempo pace and intervals Tues to Wed so need a pretty much rules compliant bike for that. I do concede on mudguards though as I prefer not to look/feel like I shat myself on messy days.

Eventually I will have a 'burro' utility bike and this will be used on Mondays and Friday for endurance pace commutes and hauling stuff around with panniers etc.

Totally agree that the worst part of commuting is putting on wet gear. I try to keep a pair of shorts and socks on hand at the office for this reason.
bea says:

Jan 27 2015 at 3:55 am

@DeKerr, don't forget shoes! (I speak from experience ;), since then I leave an old pair at the office)
KW says:

Jan 27 2015 at 6:08 am

I've got a 20km (each way) commute that I do 3-4 days a week from about March to November. (It's a bit much to do in the dead of winter here in WI.) In my desk, I keep a hand towel, a package of baby wipes, and deodorant. I keep some hangars too, so that I can hang the kit from the coat hook in my cube. I also keep a pair of work shoes in the office as well. We don't have showers, but we do have one-seater bathrooms. So I shower before I leave the house, and carry my clothes and my lunch in my backpack. I usually try to get in a little early so I can clean up and change without all of my co-workers being subjected to me in kit. Seems to work pretty well. Even in the height of summer, I've usually stopped sweating by the time I'm done getting cleaned up.

N+1 is on the horizon, so I'm planning to turn my current ride into a dedicated commuter/beer getter/kid hauler complete with fenders and (possibly) panniers.
Ron says:

Jan 27 2015 at 9:25 am

@markb

@Ron

Dedicated commuter, a cx bike set up with a rack, mudguards and one pannier is enough.......Question on wet riding - does anyone make waterproof/resistant booties for regular shoes that have an enclosed bottom? All the ones I've seen have an open bottom. Since I'm in sneakers and don't have cleats, I'd like a full, closed bootie.

As you've decided to throw all style out of the window, why not go the full hog and slip a couple of plastic bags over your shoes, kept in place with rubber bands? To complete the tramp look, make sure they are different colours.

PS I bet you've got a beard as well. ;-)

I've been using a Castelli bag on my left foot, a whole wheat bread bag on my right, one tan rubber band, one red.

Not too worried about style when commuting in cold rain. I save style for the actual road cycling.
Ron says:

Jan 27 2015 at 9:28 am

I realized something yesterday during a dark commute. I thoroughly enjoy a true road ride in the darkness, the headlight tunnel is perfect for just listening to your legs and hearing the morning come alive.

Commuting in the dark isn't as fun for me because the lack of sight makes the commute seem longer and I'm either eager to get to work and get busy or get home and work on some of the bikes.
EricW says:

Jan 27 2015 at 11:29 am

@frank

Sometimes it rains, sometimes you watch the sun creep into view. There is nothing like a foggy morning in a marine environment on a cool clear morning when the sun rises over the mountains. Unreal.

Started in the pure darkness, and was greeted by this sight just as I was about to cross the lake. No skanky kit to slip into this afternoon, no sireebob.

You should move to the bay. That's my bike commute everyday. Sometimes, I have to wear arm warmers though. It's the worst.
DCR says:

Jan 27 2015 at 8:39 pm

@tessar

@DCR

Living in the high desert is a very different life. It's the 42*C rides home where you feel that every breath sears the sand to your throat and the already thin air of 1600m above sea level seems to suffocate you even more so.

But on the bright side! (and I am not referring to the 278 days of sunshine in a year) Rust is never an issue.

...but tyres drying out is, and tubes melting into the clincher to make a defacto tubular. Fine sand is far worse than rust, too. It gets everywhere, there's no running away from it.

If the mileage matches the dedication the tires should be to the cotton before dry rot takes hold. And yes the sand is a problem. Dry lube and more attention to the steed fixes that right up though