There are lots of things to like about Vroomie Froomie, like his willingness to accept the fact that people are inclined to question his performances. Aside from me resenting him for leading a Tour which everyday becomes a little less exciting, he seems quite a likable guy; he is polite, respectful of the sport, wears team-issue bibs with his yellow jersey, his bike is only subtly yellow’d out, and he hasn’t publicly called anyone a c*nt that I’m aware of. That last point alone represents a refreshing change from last year.
When KRX10 and I worked together during the Dot-Bomb, we used to keep a miniature bike in our office, which we would use to do 6-corner time-trials around the office floor. I’m assuming someone must have made videos of those races and that they must have gone viral in Kenya, because it appears Froome modeled his position after ours on those tiny bikes.
I haven’t seen anyone ride in a position like his since Sean Kelly, except Sean always Looked Fantastic. His saddle is too low, his reach is too short, his back is too hunched, and his heels and elbows are pointed out like he’s trying to stomp on a Smurf. And, from the looks of his shoes, it appears he has been successful. I would very much appreciate it if he would sort himself out and attain a more pleasant position on the bike. I don’t care that he can make it go like a nutter; it’s an affront to my sense of aesthetics to see him hunched up like a spider humping a lightbulb.
And everyone knows that Science has proven spiders to be icky on account of having too many appendages.
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@Buck Rogers
Seriously.
@Dinan
Mate, you're a good guy but @meursault was teasing you in the vein that everyone here gets teased, and you're taking it the wrong way. It was a lighthearted joke and you're taking it way too seriously. No sweat. Have a drink if you drink, a hit if you smoke, or a wank if you're a guy.
@Marcus
I assume that you interpret any action that doesn't result in you having a gun pointed at you as getting a "green light".
And did you just seriously post an animal picture? I mean, at least its a dog, but I thought you'd be happy sticking to soft porn and skinny Danes.
And before you get carried away, I said "Danes", not "dames".
@frank
Reading between the lines, did you just ask for some soft porn with a Great Dane?
@Marcus
Boobs man, big boobs time. That's what I heard.
@Buck Rogers
Don't start this again. We've been told off once.
However,,,wasn't Brigitte Neilsen from Denmark?
@frank
Sometimes, things that seem jarringly unaesthetic at first become curiously fascinating over time and then, finally evolve one's aesthetic going forward. The Movistar shades are becoming so for me, although, admittedly, they like so many designs, look massive on tiny heads.
@wiscot
Speaking of Hinault, I often wish he'd stuffed Lemond and taken his sixth tour. Everything would have changed, everything. Hinault would be the Prophet. Well, no, but closer to, and he was fucking awesome enough to warrant consideration. Lemond wouldn't have been shot, and might have won 7 Tours clean, and COTHO would have known that no amount of perfect doping would have sufficed to better this unassailable tally. He probably would have kept eating cycling shit sandwiches, the perfect fate for him.
I say Lemond wouldn't have been shot because losing to Hinault for the final time would have been akin to the butterfly's wingbeat in Brazil. All history for him would have been altered. He wouldn't have gone rabbit hunting because he'd have realized the degree of commitment necessary to truly be the best. He'd have turned himself into a cannibal badger to win, because the taste of betrayal, losing yet again despite the promise, would be something he could never again stomach.
@Buck Rogers: bless you, good sir, for the open season you just declared on the beer fridge. My thought processes have already cleared significantly.
I have to say that Froome went down a couple of notches in the V-Stakes with his post-stage comments about Bertie's crash. Taking too many uncalculated risks? FFS, risk management isn't risk elimination! If Froom thinks others are descending recklessly, perhaps he should do some bloody risk management of his own and come off of the wheel. Then he can attack without remorse when the inevitable happens. Seems he's getting a little bit precious in yellow.
And with that, I give you...
Froolum
@starclimber
Wow. This is counterfactual history at its best. Chapeau!
@Marcus
Nope. Official Maillot Jaune has faux collar points this year. Compare collar, zipper and sleeves (raglan vs. standard).