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Riding Ugly: The Spider

Too low and too short. Photo: Montreal Gazette

There are lots of things to like about Vroomie Froomie, like his willingness to accept the fact that people are inclined to question his performances. Aside from me resenting him for leading a Tour which everyday becomes a little less exciting, he seems quite a likable guy; he is polite, respectful of the sport, wears team-issue bibs with his yellow jersey, his bike is only subtly yellow’d out, and he hasn’t publicly called anyone a c*nt that I’m aware of. That last point alone represents a refreshing change from last year.

When KRX10 and I worked together during the Dot-Bomb, we used to keep a miniature bike in our office, which we would use to do 6-corner time-trials around the office floor. I’m assuming someone must have made videos of those races and that they must have gone viral in Kenya, because it appears Froome modeled his position after ours on those tiny bikes.

I haven’t seen anyone ride in a position like his since Sean Kelly, except Sean always Looked Fantastic. His saddle is too low, his reach is too short, his back is too hunched, and his heels and elbows are pointed out like he’s trying to stomp on a Smurf. And, from the looks of his shoes, it appears he has been successful. I would very much appreciate it if he would sort himself out and attain a more pleasant position on the bike. I don’t care that he can make it go like a nutter; it’s an affront to my sense of aesthetics to see him hunched up like a spider humping a lightbulb.

And everyone knows that Science has proven spiders to be icky on account of having too many appendages.

frank

The founder of Velominati and curator of The Rules, Frank was born in the Dutch colonies of Minnesota. His boundless physical talents are carefully canceled out by his equally boundless enthusiasm for drinking. Coffee, beer, wine, if it’s in a container, he will enjoy it, a lot of it. He currently lives in Seattle. He loves riding in the rain and scheduling visits with the Man with the Hammer just to be reminded of the privilege it is to feel completely depleted. He holds down a technology job the description of which no-one really understands and his interests outside of Cycling and drinking are Cycling and drinking. As devoted aesthete, the only thing more important to him than riding a bike well is looking good doing it. Frank is co-author along with the other Keepers of the Cog of the popular book, The Rules, The Way of the Cycling Disciple and also writes a monthly column for the magazine, Cyclist. He is also currently working on the first follow-up to The Rules, tentatively entitled The Hardmen. Email him directly at rouleur@velominati.com.

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Chris says:

Jul 16 2013 at 2:01 am

@il ciclista medio

@Steampunk

Watching yesterday's highlights again and I think the "problem" is his compact bars. For a guy with such long arms, when he gets out of the saddle, it looks like he's still on the tops, which looks horrendous.

Comparing the pic above with this one from the 2010 Giro, he seems to have reduced his reach considerably:

Here's last year's Vuelta:

...where he seems to have the reduced reach. I can't find a comparable angle from the 2011 Vuelta, but he seems a bit more stretched out there, too.

So, I wonder:

1. What prompted the change in set-up at Team Sky? It looks very wrong, but it's clearly working.

2. An injury and this mitigates the discomfort?

3. I'd also like to know what gearing he was using yesterday. Sean Kelly seemed to indicate that the peloton would likely be riding 39Ã—23/25, but the speed of Froome's acceleration has me wondering if he had smaller gearing, too.

4. The 2010 Giro photo clearly shows Froome emitting steam from his helmet. The lack of steam in the Vuelta photo may account for the difference in position there and now.

well, that's my theory anyway...

Sir Dave has been tweaking his Skybots to come up with the perfect configuration, hence the changes to Froome. Or more correctly, hence Froome v1.03 and v3.01 seen here.

v1.03 was the ill fated steam variant. Sunday's high cadence acceleration was the result of mismatching some old Wiggins 2012 servo's with some Michael Barry USPS/Discovery era recovery systems.
AndyT says:

Jul 16 2013 at 2:03 am

According to this lovely slideshow on VeloNews, AC was running an 11-28 so lack of a low enough cog wasn't the problem there. No shots of the Sky bikes set-up though.

http://velonews.competitor.com/2013/07/gallery/gallery-big-cassettes-light-wheels-for-mont-ventoux_295275

First post, btw. Great site.
DerHoggz says:

Jul 16 2013 at 2:49 am

@frank

@Xyverz

Aside from the unnecessarily long shorts, yes.

Which reminds me, he also has Toad Head. That's a clear violation of the Three-Point System.

As long as we're on the subject, Movistar's Bug Eyed Sprite Adidas shades are deplorable. Can't anyone besides Oakley make a good-look pair of shades?

I'm disappointed that Froome lost the Jawbones this year.
Deakus says:

Jul 16 2013 at 3:36 am

@DerHoggz

@frank

@Xyverz

Aside from the unnecessarily long shorts, yes.

Which reminds me, he also has Toad Head. That's a clear violation of the Three-Point System.

As long as we're on the subject, Movistar's Bug Eyed Sprite Adidas shades are deplorable. Can't anyone besides Oakley make a good-look pair of shades?

I'm disappointed that Froome lost the Jawbones this year.

There is also an issue on the jersey where the yellow version does not have sleeves as long as the usualy Rapha version....this is leading to Rule #7 infractions all over the shop. Can someone have a word with him please?
Mikael Liddy says:

Jul 16 2013 at 4:27 am

@Deakus not sure there's much he can do about it, the le Coq Sportif supplied yellow jersey seems to be a slightly more traditional cut, hence the shorter sleeves.
Marcus says:

Jul 16 2013 at 4:57 am

@Mikael Liddy teams supply their own yellow jerseys - just not the ones on the podium. That would be a Rapha jersey with Le Coq logo. Sleeves just appear rolled up.
Buck Rogers says:

Jul 16 2013 at 5:30 am

@frank

@women

I apologize on behalf of men everywhere. In case this fact has escaped you, we are hopelessly excitable when it comes to boobs. They don't even have to be nice boobs - any boobs will do, particularly when the woman in charge of said boobs is willing to put them on display, even partially.

Please keep coming to the site - all three of you - and eventually @Bianchi Denti, @Marcus, and @Buck Rogers will die of old age and the site will be more respectful. As women live longer than men, you'll luckily live long enough to experience it, probably on account of our making horrible decisions when presented with the opportunity to look at a pair of boobs.

Boobs? Did someone say Boobs? Where?
Bespoke says:

Jul 16 2013 at 5:31 am

@Deakus

@Steampunk

Watching yesterday's highlights again and I think the "problem" is his compact bars. For a guy with such long arms, when he gets out of the saddle, it looks like he's still on the tops, which looks horrendous.

Comparing the pic above with this one from the 2010 Giro, he seems to have reduced his reach considerably:

...where he seems to have the reduced reach. I can't find a comparable angle from the 2011 Vuelta, but he seems a bit more stretched out there, too.

So, I wonder:

1. What prompted the change in set-up at Team Sky? It looks very wrong, but it's clearly working.

Perhaps they were interested in adjusting the configuration of the ponytail jetstream emitting from his helmet.
Buck Rogers says:

Jul 16 2013 at 5:32 am

On another note, hell of a break today in the tdf. Nico Riche, Gilbert, Quinziato, Tommy "Oh Fuck my Face Just Broke" V, Riblon, Navarro, Costa, Kadri and Hoogerland just to name a few. They should be fighting for the stage win, me thinks!
Bespoke says:

Jul 16 2013 at 5:37 am

Shit, sorry for the double steam reference. Page two didn't load. Nor did my brain apparently.