There is drafting, and then there’s this.

Merckx famously professed that after a night of sinning, the body must be cleansed. He obviously meant this figuratively, not literally, because those mud guards on his bike aren’t going to take a big bite out of whatever that lorry has to offer him by way of a Flandrian facial.

Winter is a tough time for those of us pawing about in search of our climbing weight. With the shortening of days, the nesting instinct awakens. Darkness falls in late afternoon and when we wake, we are greeted by the same darkness that wrapped us all through the evening. Nature urges us to combat the darkness with food and drink; summer’s dinner salads are replaced by slow-cooked meat and potatoes served with a side of pasta and bacon and washed down with a few bottles of red.

Weight defies the conservation of mass; it is more easily gained than lost. Fitness occupies the opposite realm; it is more easily lost than gained. Riders like Kelly, Merckx, and De Vlaeminck were famous for their discipline throughout winter; training long and hard to lay the groundwork for their Spring and Summer campaigns. With a sea of months between us and next season’s goals, there is little urgency to train properly. But keeping our weight down and putting in the long base kilometers will reward us throughout the season. Besides, it hardens the character to train in the cold, wet winds that characterize the winter months. The training we do in summer feels a luxury by comparison.

I cherish the winter months when my training is peaceful and free of pressure. I look forward to the sun warming my muscles, but for now I am content to stock up on fresh Flandrian Best, prepare the bike for the winter roads, and submit to the solitude of the cold training hours that lie before me.

frank

The founder of Velominati and curator of The Rules, Frank was born in the Dutch colonies of Minnesota. His boundless physical talents are carefully canceled out by his equally boundless enthusiasm for drinking. Coffee, beer, wine, if it’s in a container, he will enjoy it, a lot of it. He currently lives in Seattle. He loves riding in the rain and scheduling visits with the Man with the Hammer just to be reminded of the privilege it is to feel completely depleted. He holds down a technology job the description of which no-one really understands and his interests outside of Cycling and drinking are Cycling and drinking. As devoted aesthete, the only thing more important to him than riding a bike well is looking good doing it. Frank is co-author along with the other Keepers of the Cog of the popular book, The Rules, The Way of the Cycling Disciple and also writes a monthly column for the magazine, Cyclist. He is also currently working on the first follow-up to The Rules, tentatively entitled The Hardmen. Email him directly at rouleur@velominati.com.

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  • @wiscot wiscot, you didn't happen to be riding on Hwy. 45 in the Campbellsport/Kewaskum area this past weekend, did you?  On my way to a scout event with the young lad, and I saw a rider on an all-black steed...

  • @Marcus

    @frank If you are thining of a new trainer, may I suggest a combination? A set of rollers (must be Kreitler) to maintain souplesse, and a LeMond Revolution for interval sessions. You wont be sorry.

    I use them both, even in good weather.

    That's my winter MO, to a T.

  • @Chris

     

     

    Whilst there is no case to answer for fenders in any circumstances, is fitting a rack to your #1 (where #2 is as mountain bike and #3 is a BMX) in anyway acceptable if it is done to allow commuting to double up as training? Or does that sort of thing fall under the Masturbation Principle?

     

    Hey Chris, this was my very predicament. Former #1 had a rack and fenders. It is still like that as my #2 commuter. Turn up on it for  a ride or two when it is chucking down, the looks and jeers are harrowing, so you better ride good if you consider doing so!  Super boring and practical. 

    Lets get this straight as a fucking straight thing, Masturbation Principle or not, it looks shit.

    1)Would your bike comply with the rules? Would it look fantastic? No.

    2)Would it be a practical tool to ensure you ride through shit conditions, without a heavy laptop on your back? Yes.

    1>2 if you want #1 to follow the rules. Otherwise you are just turning it into a commuter...

  • @The Oracle

    @wiscot wiscot, you didn't happen to be riding on Hwy. 45 in the Campbellsport/Kewaskum area this past weekend, did you? On my way to a scout event with the young lad, and I saw a rider on an all-black steed...

    Yes sir. That was me. West Bend - Kohlsville - out west of 41 - Kewaskum - New fane - Campbellsport - Waucousta - Dundee - loop north and south to Beechwood - New Fane - Kewaskum - West Bend. 135 kms. It's a great loop with some serious rollers in there - especially the bit west by Hwy 41. The roads are, overall, really good though.

    Failed to apply Rule 5 and do the extra 25 kms to get the 160 in. Too windy, too late in the year and I was too buggered to do the extra hour. (Hangs head in shame).

    You're up near Fond du Lac now, right? A flatlander!

  • @gaswepass

    oh, and yeah- i am the gear destroyer. at least twice per season the shop mechanics provide a rousing chorus of "I've never seen that before" when they check out the evidence of my destruciton

    some people have finesse and some don't; it can be learned to an extent, but some of it is inate.

    on the pavé of roubaix there is one section with a huge hole and we all ride it several times and you have to unweight the bike just right not to fuck your wheels.

    Only one person in the group fucked a wheel; Johan's kid. And he was riding my golden tickets. And FMB.

  • @Beers All good points. But let's get this straight, the rack is going to be on the bike for commuting only. It will come off at the weekend or for other rides during the week (except roller sessions) regardless of whether thy're group rides or solo affairs.

    And there will be no fenders.

  • @The Oracle

    @Marcus

    @frank If you are thining of a new trainer, may I suggest a combination? A set of rollers (must be Kreitler) to maintain souplesse, and a LeMond Revolution for interval sessions. You wont be sorry.

    I use them both, even in good weather.

    That's my winter MO, to a T.

    It merits consideration as part of the training plan.

    @Chris

    @frank

    Word word word.

    @Lukas Wrong.

    Whilst there is no case to answer for fenders in any circumstances, is fitting a rack to your #1 (where #2 is as mountain bike and #3 is a BMX) in anyway acceptable if it is done to allow commuting to double up as training? Or does that sort of thing fall under the Masturbation Principle?

    It falls under the "are the lobotomy scars obvious?" principle.

    Fucking fuckity fuck.

  • @Chris

    @Beers All good points. But let's get this straight, the rack is going to be on the bike for commuting only. It will come off at the weekend or for other rides during the week (except roller sessions) regardless of whether thy're group rides or solo affairs.

    And there will be no fenders.

    Two words: backpack, idiot.

  • @frank This is meant in the nicest possible sense but, Fuck Off with your backpack.

    For one, my back is fucked enough as it is without lugging my fat arsed laptop around on top of it. It's bad enough trying to reach my feet to put my socks on some mornings without the extra grief that would cause.

    And have you not ever noticed how stupid people look on road bikes with a backpack? The hipster twats even invented courier bags to avoid looking like that much of a cunt.

    Fucking fuckity fuck, indeed.

  • @wiscot

    @The Oracle

    @wiscot wiscot, you didn't happen to be riding on Hwy. 45 in the Campbellsport/Kewaskum area this past weekend, did you? On my way to a scout event with the young lad, and I saw a rider on an all-black steed...

    Yes sir. That was me. West Bend - Kohlsville - out west of 41 - Kewaskum - New fane - Campbellsport - Waucousta - Dundee - loop north and south to Beechwood - New Fane - Kewaskum - West Bend. 135 kms. It's a great loop with some serious rollers in there - especially the bit west by Hwy 41. The roads are, overall, really good though.

    Failed to apply Rule #5 and do the extra 25 kms to get the 160 in. Too windy, too late in the year and I was too buggered to do the extra hour. (Hangs head in shame).

    You're up near Fond du Lac now, right? A flatlander!

    @wiscot: Wow, that's a great ride.  And as for The Oracle being a flatlander - ha!  At least he has the Niagara Escarpment on the east side of town and can head to the Kettle Morraine pretty quickly.  Everyone knows flatlanders are living in Appleton!

    @The Oracle:  Good on you on doing Scouting with your son.  Did that with my two sons, and I'm still involved even though the youngest is now 27.  If you look closely you'll find that it actually teaches some of the Rules, albeit with different language:)  It's a program that makes a big difference -- and one we really need.

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