Keepers Tour 2012 Update, Part 4: A Ronde Ride and Paris-Roubaix
With Keepers Tour: Cobbled Classics 2012 stitched up and in the history books, the challenge of documenting the trip became immediately obvious; how do you take the myriad impressions, experiences, and perspectives and put them down in a meaningful way – let alone in a way that can somehow be digested. Surely, to document even just the Keepers’ view on these goings-on would result in an article much longer than anyone would be prepared to read and would be a far cry from comprehensive.
We have decided that the best approach is to split the report into four Articles, one authored by each Keeper, and each covering a different section of the trip. We also look forward to the contribution of additional photos and stories through the posts from those who joined us and those who witnessed the goings-on from afar. This is the final of four parts, covering the last awesome weekend of the Tour. There are more articles of thanks and reverence coming soon.
Keepers Tour: Cobbled Classics 2012 Updates: Part I // Part II // Part III // Part IV
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Everyone was sure the first weekend of riding the Paris-Roubaix course and watching the Ronde really couldn’t be topped but weekend #2 was going to do just that. A Saturday of riding the business end of the Ronde and meeting Freddy Maertens followed with an epic day of Paris-Roubaix Easter Sunday. At the gite, it was sounding more like a tuberculosis ward than ever with much coughing from lungs that had been worked hard and put away with Malteni. At mid-week we were scolded with a weekend weather report of SNOW but Saturday dawned not too cold and dry. There was reason for hope.
Friday afternoon Alex and William brought us to visit AG2R-La Mondiale at their hotel. We watched one of the mechanics gluing on tires while another methodically washed all the bikes just back from the Roubaix recon. The first mechanic didn’t waste time letting glue in the rim dry before he mounted anything and the second mechanic used a power-washer on every bike. OK, that’s how the pros do it. We were introduced to the long time director of AG2R La Mondiale, Vincent Lavenu. Alex and William became friends with him when Decathlon (Alex and William’s employer) sponsored Ag2R and supplied their bikes. Two english speaking riders, the Belgian Kristof Goddaert and Frenchman Steve Houanard were hauled out of the hotel and they patiently answered our questions. When asked who would win, they never mentioned the team leader of AG2R, these guys are realists, Paris-Roubaix is on their schedule and they were there to do their best. It was a privilege to meet Vincent, talk to some riders and see the mechanics doing what they do day in and day out.
Saturday morning the multi-vehicle caravan rolled across the Belgian gray landscape toward our start in Oudenaarde, and once again I really had no idea where we were. The wind turbines told of wind across the landscape and the windshield wipers came on; we were in for the full Belgian experience today. The route was to be the last 140km of the real Ronde course, ending with the iconic Muur van Gerardsbergen and the Bosberg. Everyone but me seemed quite psyched for a day of cobbled climbs. We rode from Oudenaarde under very low clouds and wet roads. A long preamble of narrow roads and paths warmed everyone up. In Belgium I found it hard to know what was a road and what was a bike path. Paths that seemed too narrow for a car had cars on them and the paths seemed to have cow manure on them- did that just go in my mouth?
The first few climbs were tame and paved and soon enough I was so far off the back I relegated myself to the team car; my week-long battle with a disease I picked up from dirty French cobbles was not done with me yet. William led the healthy on an incredibly complicated route through the Belgian (and French?) landscape.
The climbs started coming fast and furious; the lads were on the Oude Kwaremont climb soon, riding up the cobbles where we had watched the Ronde six days ago. It’s not a steep one at 11% maximum and an average of 4% but it is a long one. Then the Paterberg and suddenly to the right, straight up, the Belgian escalator, the Koppenburg. To me this is The Climb in Belgium. If pros have to push and carry bikes up this, it must be tough. The Koppenburg has had a wee facelift in recent years and we had left the rain behind so it was full gas. Alex and I walked down from the top of the climb and it dropped away so one couldn’t see the steepest part but no fear, dear reader, the hearty Spring Classics riders danced up. There was a touch of wheels, some cursing, dismounting, remounting, but everyone rode up and some dared to say it wasn’t so tough. Really?
The Steenbeekdries, the Taaienberg, the bergs kept coming and the riders kept climbing them. Then it started to sleet. Frozen rain was pelting down as the route took us through yet another Belgian red brick town. The weather improved as we came into Gerardsbergen, an approach so familiar from years of watching this race on TV. Alex and I sneaked around the side and took photos as the riders came up to the oh-so-familiar chapel at the top. Mein Gott in Himmel, William, @Rigid. Fair enough, then @roadslave came sailing around the corner, too fat to climb? I think not! Roadslave is the revelation of the Muur, showing most everyone the back end of his Ti Serrota.
There was much chatter in the months leading up to this about Museeuw’s big ring antics on the Muur so after the group made it to the top, the chance to re-ride the end in the 53 was irresistible. But these were staged photos, maybe to impress Frank’s grandchildren thirty years from now: “You little puke, come over here and let Pappy show you again how I did the Muur in the Big Ring.”
The afternoon was wearing on, so the route was truncated. No one would be the Boss of the Bosberg today; it was time to let William reset his internal GPS for Oudenaarde and head for the barn. On the route back, Roadslave’s rear tire couldn’t stand the punishment he had been dishing out so we stopped for a wheel fix. Whilst this was going on, G’rilla was nodding off on the sidewalk, never a good sign. We re-infused him with Coke and caffeinated gels but a few kilometers later he climbed into the team car too, a broken rider. The lack of recovery at the git every night, the red wine, Malteni, the need to discuss the day’s fun until all hours and the eventual snoring, it was too much. You can’t keep a Strackian pace all week- few can.
Our route back intersected the under-23 Ronde race so we stopped to watch them ride through. Amazing, in a word. The under-23 race looked like a full-on professional race in the USA. The riders were extremely strong and fast, another reminder of why we were civilians playing at being pros. And who is that guy with the the East German buzz-cut? It’s Zabel! With spare wheels!
The Belgians have at least two amazing bicycle museums. The Ronde Museum in Oudenaarde has free showers for cyclists, a gift shop full of jerseys and books and a damn bar. What the hell? Is there any further proof necessary that Belgium is the heart of cycling? I rest my case. Like Eddy, we were not to meet Freddy, but it mattered not as the day had already been a heavy dose of Belgian cycling. As we explored the basement level of the museum I half-expected Freddy to appear on the other side of a scrim in a confessional booth, so we could murmur our sins and maybe be absolved. “Forgive me Freddy, I climbed off my bike after two climbs today because I am weak American pussy.” The Pave Boys had already pulled off untold miracles, they conjured up Museeuw, why not this?
Sunday, Paris-Roubaix, a promise of rain: if everyone was not shagged out from Saturday’s ride, the excitement might have ruined a fanatic’s sleep. @Bill made the tactical error of inviting his wife to join us for P-R, which meant we were supposed to behave, which we didn’t. Within two seconds of her appearance in the git Frank made her regret her decision and if she had any doubts, William quickly reconfirmed them. Apologies were made but luckily she is married into the US military so she hears worse. Ha, it was so beautiful, a memory of the week.
It didn’t take much herding to get us in the caravan, in coolers three Maltenis per person and enough baguette sandwiches to get us through the day. The Pave boys know their stuff and they proved it this day. We hit P-R three different places; each site required a complicated combination of highways, secondary roads, shortcuts and cursing. You have to leave this to the pros, trust me.
We arrived at the first sector of pave at Troisvilles with minutes to spare because the field had a tailwind and was running ahead of its fastest schedule. Frank and the Banner were to be inseparable, this was Frank’s day. The break came through and a few minutes later the main field, gutter to gutter at warp speed and they disappeared in a cloud of dust. As we walked back to the vehicles a few Velominati waved to a beautiful women by a parked car, and she smiled and waved back, what the hell? That never happens. It was Johan Van Summeren’s fiancé and of course we remembered her name.
Alex and William led us into the Arenberg Forest and we found our little spot just past the trestle bridge, a front row view on the most feared stretch of Paris-Roubaix cobbles. Before any racers appear there is a stream of police motor, photo motos, team cars, ambulances, press cars all ripping by at high speed, most cheered by the crowd for no particular reason. Eventually, as the helicopters get closer, the excitement meter gets pegged. More police motos, then, the red race director’s car in amongst other vehicles. The crowd roars as the break, then the field, pass by at high speed. It’s a cacophony of weird sounds as the bikes bounce over the cobbles. Two Quick Step riders are right at the front of the field, Boonen second wheel, and Frank gets an unbelievable photo of Boonen’s loose bottle spinning next to him as he passes, and they are gone. Riders continue to come by in groups and solo, they are riding just to finish, there is no catching the main field now.
We pack up again and head for our third rendezvous at Carrefour de l’Arbre, a wide open, windswept area with the singular Cafe de l’Arbre sitting alone at a crossroads. As we caravan there we hear Boonen has ridden off the front with twelve chasers, disconcerting news for all of Belgium.
Carrefour de l’Arbre is an amazing scene. It’s well policed to avoid the lack of drunken crowd control of other years. The organizers have installed a massive screen with the live feed. Frank and The Banner, snapping in the headwind, leads the Velominati to a long straight before the Cafe. Boonen has opened a minute lead and his power on the cobbles has left his chasers in disarray. This is his race; only very bad luck will spoil it now. Again it’s the helicopters advancing above the fields that raises the excitement level to a fevered pitch. This is possibly the best place to be on the Earth right now! Boonen goes by full gas, in the drops, no gloves, a big vein bulging on his neck. Sweet Jesus, there’s a man. A long time later Lars Boom, then a group of five containing Ballan and Flecha pass, they are racing for second place.
Helicopters and TV motos both find Frank and the Banner irresistible. All eyes go to the big screen, everyone is willing Tommeke on to Roubaix.
And then it’s over! It can’t be over. We roll to Lille with a caravan full of Velominati and their bicycles, some to the train station, some to a hotel. Goodbyes all around but it’s hard to believe this eight day ride-a-thon is done. Vive La Vie Velominatus.
We can’t thank Pave Cycling Classics enough. Alex, William and Genevieve are the best at what they do and have made this trip something to remember forever.
[dmalbum path=”/velominati.com/content/Photo Galleries/j.andrews3@comcast.net/KT 2012 version 2/”/]
[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jP2PAF3pRjc[/youtube]
Ha! Trust me, my wife thought y’all were amateurs in the language department (yes, even Frank’s welcoming offer to provide certain physical pleasures to a Kiwi).
Plus, you missed the part where she flipped @Marko off, without even looking in his direction.
@Bill
At least someone got to her. Fantastic woman and a pleasure to meet her.
@Bill
Yes, you are correct. She gave as good as she got. Lesser women would have walked out of the gite and headed back to Germany.
Great pics and I’ve really enjoyed reading these posts as well.
Love the fact that by the end, the film has a dream-like quality to it. How appropriate. I also like (or was it edited out?) the lack of verbal chatter or communication – just guys riding their bikes alone with their thoughts.
Editor’s note-I forgot to include our excellent road trip to AG2R-La Mondiale Team at a hotel somewhere in Northern France. It’s now included.
@wiscot
I was thinking the same thing. The camera is inside a plastic case and it must block out a lot. Or you would have heard some cussing on the Koppenberg when wheels touched.
Holy CRAPoly that lead photo is AMAZING of Tommeke, I bet Graham Watson will be calling you soon Frank to ask for permission to use that puppy. Seriously perfect photo with the water bottle flying mid-air and Tommeke so focused and in the zone.
What gearing did you guys run on the RVV ride?
@Buck Rogers
I was on a 39×26, but there were compacts and dinner plates in the bunch. No one seemed over-geared; the only really hard climb was the Koppenberg; the others were very doable. Even the Muur is easy on the run-up, and then you can hammer the steep part. My big-ring photo is staged (to the extent that I went down part-way and run up in the big ring) and so is Brett’s, but if you are fresh and hit the climb hard, you could actually probably power up the whole thing like that. I finished ‘er off in my 53×17 and was not mashing.
@Buck Rogers
The whole ride in general is so much easier than Roubaix; as William said, you can hide – you can start the climbs at the front and drift back. Plus, the bottom of many of the climbs are steep, but then they generally level off and you big ring the second part. The Oude Kwaremont and the Eikenberg are both like that. The Muur is the reverse, though.
Doing it at race pace and at 250km is a completely different matter, however.
And we’ve all seen this so many time, but it just doesn’t get old.
I didn’t really get a good sense of the hill grades until I started looking at the fencing at the side of the video frame….holy fack! Fantastic piece @Gianni – @Frank’s pic of Boonen lobbing the grenade is stellar too!
Another great write up! I can’t wait to meet and ride with everyone next year! I’m positive I can keep pace with Frank……..off the bike anyway………
@Buck Rogers
It’s well known that Frank has taken at least three of the best cycling photos of all time.
@G’rilla
I keep them all safely stored away in THE MEADOWS.
@Gianni
Nice one. This trip sounded so cool until I read the bit about the day at P-R beer quota – three Maltenis per person?
Shouldnt it have been three Maltenis per person per secteur?
@Marcus
Within 24 hours of arriving, we had consumed more Malteni than any other group so far…in an entire week.
I’m fairly sure that the AG2R pros were Kristof Goddaert (Belgium) and Stephen Houanard (France). Monsieur Lavenu was particularly proud that Stephen had successfully progressed through their in-house amateur team (based in Chambery) right through to Pro Tour level. Along with cycling training as amateurs, they also get media and language training to help them in later life. Stephen told us that the team taught him to speak English to help with interviews when he made it big. Great story! And nice guys.
sweet video , love the fact you got belgian toothpaste on the gopro gives even more feel for the terrain
@Marcus
I actually think Gianni made it up to make us sound less like sponges. It might have been 3 Maltenis per person at a time. I know for sure I had more than three Maltenis and I also know we never ran out. Gianni’s math simply doesn’t add up; he must be using advanced calculus, imaginary numbers, and complex time-zone math.
@G’rilla
This. William kept calling us “thirsty”. I think we may have peaked at the RVV, though. It was beautiful.
I’ve noticed, however, that while drinking like that appeared to have no ill effect on my productivity, enjoyment, riding, or level of energy during the trip, drinking like that seems to have an adverse effect on all those things any time I’m not on vacation. Say, for instance, while I’m at work. Just to name one example.
I guess the less is that what works on Keepers Tour, doesn’t necessarily work in Real Life (if there is such a thing.)
@Bianchi Denti
Yeah, really awesome program. Of course, such a massive problem with elite sport is the need to hit it young, often at the expense of the athlete’s education. Then, when they retire or if the gamble doesn’t pay off, they have a major disadvantage when it comes to making a living in another field.
Beautiful that the team offers them this education and the opportunity to grow as people and have another life outside of sport. Puts AG2R on a completely different level for me.
Fantastic photos, as always!
@Marcus
I think it was a portage issue. There was walking involved to get to all three P-R sites and god knows we didn’t want to carry a lot of bottled beer and walk. Or we had so severely taxed the brewery output of Malteni that we were being rationed. Or I’m wrong, that’s the most likely answer.
@scaler911
Be careful there. He is barely human. He goes to bed later, gets up earlier, drinks shietloads. And then there is the cycling.
@Gianni
If he smoked, then he’d be awesome…
@Marcus
S’alright they sell Fosters over there, you’d be right at home.
Someone slap Bretto hard in the face next time he lights a fucken ciggie. Wrong side of 30 to be carrying on like that.
@Gianni
Somehow I doubt there is any Malteni left in Flanders.
@minion
Still can’t stop laughing about a dumb sheep-fucker like you ending up in Canberra.
Oh the irony.
@minion
He should try a pipe.
Thanks for sharing all these. Really fun to see. But I swear to Merckx…it would have killed me. Just watching that video made my muscles tighten. But what a thrill to see George go by without shoe covers. Who knew?
@eightzero
George with no shoe covers is the new Anquetil not putting the bidon in his jersey pocket.
@frank
Yes, Frank, I will have to agree – the photos were fantastic! It’s good that nearly everyone was shooting. And I will have to agree, my vote for best shot (so far) goes to you and the Arenberg-Boonen shot with his bottle flipping off in the background! An absolute prize winner!
Also, does anyone know Bill’s Velominati Name? Or his email, for that matter? Thank you!
@brett
You make a strong point Bretto. And being handily dropped by a smoker is a real kick in the balls. You, my friend, are a riddle wrapped in a blown Vittoria sew-up casing.
@Marcus
Hey hey hey, easy sunshine. I’m not trying to take the moral high ground here, but aren’t you a lawyer? New Zealand’s romantic endeavours with sheep surely aren’t that bad…
Speaking of ill informed thoroughly unfunny jokes, you know who need velcro gloves?
AFL players. I’d give ten buck to any of them that could CATCH THE FUCKING BALL
@minion
Can’t catch? Sure you aren’t watching rugger old chum?
The Keepers Tour deserves some sort of award from the Belgian Tourist Board. I’ve never seen such a set of comprehensive reasons to visit a country before.
@motor city
Agreed. And from the tales of drinking derring-do I’m surprised anyone has remembered enough to do the write ups. We could well have ended up with something more like this (although I imagine it’s what the grandkids will get):
@Jonny
Rowley Birkin QC, legendary.
@motor city
Exactly. Ran into to a random dude today who saw my shirt and asked if I went on the trip – proudly said yes and strongly encouraged him to do the same next year. He said, “someday.” I say the time is at hand, don’t wait for whatever reason, make it happen! It was hands-down the best money spent, ever!
@Gianni
So true. I was dumbfounded, to be exact. There were a couple times that I actually became worried for Bretto – concerned that the man was wedging himself deep between a couple cobbles in l’Arbre. In the end, I felt fooled – still dumb-founded!
@Bill
Ah! There you are, Bill! Pretty easy to find you considering you call yourself, “Bill.”
@Gianni
@frank
Just been reading Paul Kimmage’s book – when he retired in 1989 he took up sport’s journalism. He had been writing weekly diaries of his races previously in the papers and then turned it into his income post racing – smart man.. Also a great unheralded rider who was untiring in his support of his team leaders and avoided the drugs so many of his contemporaries shot into their bums.
@eightzero, @Nate
Exceptionally well played, both of you!
Sunday evening I was cleaning out the DVR recordings and decided to watch the last bit of the NBC coverage of Paris Roubaix before deleting it. Boy was I surprised to see the V-Flag on national tv. Had to do a double take and sure enough it was you fellows. How cool was that. Damn Frank, you reminded me of a kid at Christmas. Curiously my wife didn’t share my enthusiasm of the moment.
Very nicely done, Gianni!
Great photos, great story.
I’m back from my bachelor party & feel pretty similarly. We got after it from mid-day on Friday to late Sunday night. I felt great during it, but now I feel as if I’ll need a few weeks to recover. Tons of energy throughout the weekend, now I feel completely shattered.
@frank
@G’rilla
I do believe that on Thursday, the quote was “For fooooook sake. You fooooookers need to slow down on the beer. Fooooook!”
@McEnroeMark
Mark – I prefer to hide in the open. No one expects to find me there. Just like no one expects the Spanish Inquisition.
@Bill
“And drink more white wine!”
@Bill
Ha! Our two main weapons are: fear, surprise and an almost fanatical devotion to the Merckx
Re: Malteni consumption, I thought we were quite subdued. I didn’t get drunk once, and can’t remember anyone else being anything but hydrated.