I can’t really call it an obsession. If it was an obsession, I would have commissioned a bloke I’ve never met to build me a set of ultra-light wheels and I would have spent an outrageous amount of money to upgrade my handlebars in an identical shape from aluminum to carbon in an effort to shave a few grams off the top end of my machine. After all, science has proven that buying lighter gear is a more effective strategy for climbing faster than that weight-weenie bullshit like quitting beer or steak.
Alright, so maybe I’m obsessed. But it’s not an all-consuming obsession – not obsessive obsession. Its more like a weighty thought that bends all the other less weighty thoughts towards it, like Einstein described why gravity bends light. It started less than a single Cognitive Unit after the VMH informed me of my time up the mountain on Part Deux. (A Cognitive Unit, obviously, is the unit of time it takes one to process any piece of information after the dishing up of a massive helping of Rule V.) It was around that time that my thoughts started warping towards riding Haleakala again – faster.
It started in low, then it started to grow. No, I’m not quoting How the Grinch Stole Christmas; I’m describing what happened after my gut was accosted by the Holiday Season. I’m fat, I’m out of shape, and I’m slow. What training I’ve been doing has been done in Seattle around the freezing point in stubbornly wet weather. Maui, on the other hand, insists on having warm weather – something I’m unaccustomed to – and the forecast for the coming week is hot, hot, and hotter. Despite Ryder Hesjedal setting the record up the climb during this time of year, the conventional wisdom around these here parts is that this is the worst time of year to try for a personal record up Haleakala.
You will understand, then, that this is the perfect time for me to leave a lung or two on Crater Road for the third time running. Assuming the weather holds and D.S. @Gianni, Coach VMH (whose “coaching” consists mostly of chastising and comparing me to small and adorable yet unwanted rodents), and @MauiBike fail to come up with compelling reasons to move the effort to another date, I will be visiting Pele for the third time on New Years Day, 2013.
Prognosticate on my upcoming ride at your own risk. For your reading and viewing entertainment, the two previous editions of Frank vs. The Volcano are provided here: Frank vs. The Volcano // Frank vs. The Volcano, Part Deux.
I know as well as any of you that I've been checked out lately, kind…
Peter Sagan has undergone quite the transformation over the years; starting as a brash and…
The Women's road race has to be my favorite one-day road race after Paris-Roubaix and…
Holy fuckballs. I've never been this late ever on a VSP. I mean, I've missed…
This week we are currently in is the most boring week of the year. After…
I have memories of my life before Cycling, but as the years wear slowly on…
View Comments
I was one digit off. THe hour digit.
@frank I was 3:41:49--a whopping 5.9 secs too fast. I must have miscalculated the advantage of your new Café Roubaix wheels. Good enough for 2nd place? (dble post error)
Strong work Frank. It inspired me to drag my bloated carcass out yesterday for my first ride of the year.
I suspect you may have been faster even though my ride was fairly flat. On the plus side, I did manage to prove fairly conclusively that alcohol is not as good as blood at transporting oxygen around the body.
BUT did you ride down as well or was it treated as a mountain top finish?
@Gianni
Alright, moving slowly here...I'm on vacation afterall. But it looks like the winner is @Duende on account of being only 1/100th of a second over (we're not playing Price is Right rules, whatever that is, we're just saying who is the closest...)
@the farmer
I think that to anyone who hasn't ridden Haleakala, the notion of riding down seems very seductive. When you're at the top, though, you'll quickly realize that riding down is beyond idiotic.
On the other hand, the section from 6,000 feet to 4,000 feet is possibly the best road for descending you'll ever find, anywhere. Its great to do a Demi Haleakla (from about 1,000 feet to 6,000 feet) and catch the descent.
@TommyTubolare
No discomfort at all, and the bars are basically at the same angle that they've been at for years on the alu Rotundos. I like the bars at that angle as it allows for a very natural wrist angle, and similarly the hoods (mounted on the bars such that the levers are flush with the bottom of the bars) allow for a natural angle as well.
I've ridden bars over the years at every angle and experimented with generating tension through having the hoods nice and low - I love how it looks, but I've found that having the hoods up more lets me pull better and generate more leverage. Especially since I've been climbing more, I find this position more beneficial. When I rode the flats more, however, I had them lower.
There is some footage in the video I'm working on that has me from the side, I'll be curious if you see anything unusual about the position.
@frank I've got a pair of Haleakalas coming from Dan_R in the next couple of months. You've got me as giddy as a school girl with your reports of this week's vanquishing of the volcano. CAN.NOT.WAIT.FOR.MY.HALEAKALAS. And, again, way to kick that volcano's ass.
@frank Though I would love to be able to take credit for having predicted your time to within 1/100th of a second, I will have to content myself with having been a full 1/10th of a second off. Still, the experience has left me wondering toward what other ends I might turn my newly-discovered power of prognostication!
@Duende
Wait a minute! I thought we were playing by the Price Is Right rules! (Oh the agony.)
@frank
What reasons?