I can’t really call it an obsession. If it was an obsession, I would have commissioned a bloke I’ve never met to build me a set of ultra-light wheels and I would have spent an outrageous amount of money to upgrade my handlebars in an identical shape from aluminum to carbon in an effort to shave a few grams off the top end of my machine. After all, science has proven that buying lighter gear is a more effective strategy for climbing faster than that weight-weenie bullshit like quitting beer or steak.
Alright, so maybe I’m obsessed. But it’s not an all-consuming obsession – not obsessive obsession. Its more like a weighty thought that bends all the other less weighty thoughts towards it, like Einstein described why gravity bends light. It started less than a single Cognitive Unit after the VMH informed me of my time up the mountain on Part Deux. (A Cognitive Unit, obviously, is the unit of time it takes one to process any piece of information after the dishing up of a massive helping of Rule V.) It was around that time that my thoughts started warping towards riding Haleakala again – faster.
It started in low, then it started to grow. No, I’m not quoting How the Grinch Stole Christmas; I’m describing what happened after my gut was accosted by the Holiday Season. I’m fat, I’m out of shape, and I’m slow. What training I’ve been doing has been done in Seattle around the freezing point in stubbornly wet weather. Maui, on the other hand, insists on having warm weather – something I’m unaccustomed to – and the forecast for the coming week is hot, hot, and hotter. Despite Ryder Hesjedal setting the record up the climb during this time of year, the conventional wisdom around these here parts is that this is the worst time of year to try for a personal record up Haleakala.
You will understand, then, that this is the perfect time for me to leave a lung or two on Crater Road for the third time running. Assuming the weather holds and D.S. @Gianni, Coach VMH (whose “coaching” consists mostly of chastising and comparing me to small and adorable yet unwanted rodents), and @MauiBike fail to come up with compelling reasons to move the effort to another date, I will be visiting Pele for the third time on New Years Day, 2013.
Prognosticate on my upcoming ride at your own risk. For your reading and viewing entertainment, the two previous editions of Frank vs. The Volcano are provided here: Frank vs. The Volcano // Frank vs. The Volcano, Part Deux.
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Absolutely shattered. I am reduced to a broken man. Really pushed it hard, and into a horrible gale from about 5,000 to 9,000. And I still want to spit in the eye of whoever designed that last steep ramp to the finish. Unholy noises escaped my neck hole.
A hair under 3:42, I'll post the official time when I can process the idea of getting up off the sofa. I don't think I've ridden that hard at race pace for that long, ever. Going for a PR and not just for a good ride up are totally different things.
In other words, it was awesome, and in some sense I'm glad it was so windy because I know based on lower splits that 3:30 was very doable with less (or no) wind and now I'm looking forward already to having another go in better conditions.
Later, though. Not now.
@frank
Well done sir - chapeau
Chapeau Frank, glad to hear you've knocked yet more time off your PB. A splendid start to 2013, I'll unleash some V on my riding buddies in the hills tomorrow in recognition!
Only have one camera within arms reach of the chouch and that is the one that ran out at 7,000 feet. But here's a preview.
And here is a shot of the fucking flag whipping in the wind. What a bastard that wind is.
@frank avvesome effort, how far is a hair cos it sounds like I might have come up a winner?
Oooh, I was close in my time then but if we're going Price is Right rules I went a minute or so over and don't qualify. Nicely done, man. The bike looks tits with the Cafe Roubaix wheels.
well done,m8.
Fabulous effort, given the conditions. I am all admiration.
Congrats on a stellar effort. Despite the guesstimates, I'm sure we were all hoping you'd do under 3:30.
By the way, if you think you're fat and in less than peak form, then we're all fucked.
@freddy
@Duende
It's going to be close.
From the DS car it was a most horrible assault. Frank was on the rivet from start to finish. He is a tough monkey. A big Rule V effort if I've ever seen one. I'm tired and all I did was drive and curse. Some malted beverage recovery fluids will flow tonight.