The Hardmen: Legends of the Cycling Gods

The Hardmen: Cover Art.

Today’s a big deal over here at VHQ; V-Pints are being clinked and backs are being slapped in celebration of our second book, The Hardmen, being released in the UK and Commonwealth countries today, June 1. (It is due out in the United States in the Fall as well as The Netherlands and Belgium in Spring 2018.)

I have a new appreciation for what a band might go through when faced with putting out their sophomore effort (which in our case was something of a sophomoronic effort). While I would never put forward the idea that writing our first book, The Rules, was in any way “easy”, its writing was one unencumbered by the notion that anyone might actually read it. The pressure of expectation for our second book might well have been something we placed on ourselves, but the pressure felt very real nonetheless. The irony did not go unnoticed that we had to harden the fuck up and focus on the business of writing the best book we could manage, given the book was centered around the general notion of Rule #5.

The Hardmen is just that: the tales of the most epic rides and riders in history, or at least in our collective recollection. We wrote it in the style you’ve become familiar with, (ir)reverently with a focus more on legend than on fact, and avoiding research wherever possible for the simple fact that research feels a lot like cheating. Our inclination to make words up also proved an interesting challenge for our copyeditor.

Of the variety of obstacles we encountered along the way, that of selecting the riders to include in the book figured prominently; there are so many worth including that we could hardly set about including them all. So we picked at our whim and whimsy, and we welcome you to challenge us on both our inclusions and omissions.

With that, I will retire to the patio and indulge in more celebratory pints but not before leaving you with this very flattering and possibly unjustified review on the Washing Machine Post.

Thanks to everyone here for your support as our writing slacked off over the past year while we labored to get this book done. We owe you each a debt of gratitude and look forward to enjoying your company online and back out on the roads. Vive la Vie Velominatus.

frank

The founder of Velominati and curator of The Rules, Frank was born in the Dutch colonies of Minnesota. His boundless physical talents are carefully canceled out by his equally boundless enthusiasm for drinking. Coffee, beer, wine, if it’s in a container, he will enjoy it, a lot of it. He currently lives in Seattle. He loves riding in the rain and scheduling visits with the Man with the Hammer just to be reminded of the privilege it is to feel completely depleted. He holds down a technology job the description of which no-one really understands and his interests outside of Cycling and drinking are Cycling and drinking. As devoted aesthete, the only thing more important to him than riding a bike well is looking good doing it. Frank is co-author along with the other Keepers of the Cog of the popular book, The Rules, The Way of the Cycling Disciple and also writes a monthly column for the magazine, Cyclist. He is also currently working on the first follow-up to The Rules, tentatively entitled The Hardmen. Email him directly at rouleur@velominati.com.

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View Comments

litvi says:

Jun 3 2017 at 12:11 am

@wiscot

@Buck Rogers

But I have to say, what the fuck is up wth the cover??? If you are going to have a silhouette with the maglia rosa, jesus fucking christ, don’t make it a full body suit, eh? Who is that silhouette anyways, Cipollini???

I’m going nuts trying to figure out who the silhouette is of! It might be Cipo. My question is: why does he have a stick of beef jerky in his right hand?

It's OK. I've confirmed we can eat beef jerky in the saddle. See?
Mikael Liddy says:

Jun 3 2017 at 12:48 am

@Teocalli

@litvi

@Buck Rogers

@wiscot

@Buck Rogers

But I have to say, what the fuck is up wth the cover??? If you are going to have a silhouette with the maglia rosa, jesus fucking christ, don’t make it a full body suit, eh? Who is that silhouette anyways, Cipollini???

I’m going nuts trying to figure out who the silhouette is of! It might be Cipo. My question is: why does he have a stick of beef jerky in his right hand?

Thanks, Mate for weighing in with me! We’ll have fun in the penalty box together while we are banned from the site, eh???

I think it’s an orange kit, but that still doesn’t excuse the Rule #14 and Rule #15 violations. Now, to your tastiest point, I don’t think there’s a rule against carrying beef jerky… but there had probably ought to be one against mounting the rear derailleur on the left side of a bike.

Damn good spot! Must be one of those US track bikes with the left hand drive converted for road use.

I'm calling His Nibs, Campa shaped hoods, but with a curved bar top, which rules out the Movistar Canyons.
Buck Rogers says:

Jun 3 2017 at 2:39 am

@Mikael Liddy

@Teocalli

@litvi

@Buck Rogers

@wiscot

@Buck Rogers

But I have to say, what the fuck is up wth the cover??? If you are going to have a silhouette with the maglia rosa, jesus fucking christ, don’t make it a full body suit, eh? Who is that silhouette anyways, Cipollini???

I’m going nuts trying to figure out who the silhouette is of! It might be Cipo. My question is: why does he have a stick of beef jerky in his right hand?

Thanks, Mate for weighing in with me! We’ll have fun in the penalty box together while we are banned from the site, eh???

I think it’s an orange kit, but that still doesn’t excuse the Rule #14 and Rule #15 violations. Now, to your tastiest point, I don’t think there’s a rule against carrying beef jerky… but there had probably ought to be one against mounting the rear derailleur on the left side of a bike.

Damn good spot! Must be one of those US track bikes with the left hand drive converted for road use.

I’m calling His Nibs, Campa shaped hoods, but with a curved bar top, which rules out the Movistar Canyons.

And the wheelset as well? Deep section with possibly bladed spokes??? And hopefully me eyes deceive me but it looks like a sloped top tube? Maybe for the last few years a few (rare few) Hardmen rode such abominations but Coppi/Merckx/RDV/Kelly/LeMan/Hampsten, etc sure as hell didn't.

Come on, Velominati--there is still time to fire the cover designer and get a right proper one for the US release, right???
Rick says:

Jun 3 2017 at 7:43 am

@litvi

@wiscot

@Buck Rogers

But I have to say, what the fuck is up wth the cover??? If you are going to have a silhouette with the maglia rosa, jesus fucking christ, don’t make it a full body suit, eh? Who is that silhouette anyways, Cipollini???

I’m going nuts trying to figure out who the silhouette is of! It might be Cipo. My question is: why does he have a stick of beef jerky in his right hand?

It’s OK. I’ve confirmed we can eat beef jerky in the saddle. See?

I have occasionally taken beef jerky on rides. It is great protein, which I like to pack because my stomach doesn't react well to all carbs and gels. As far as I know there are no rules against this.
MangoDave says:

Jun 3 2017 at 10:48 am

@litvi

@Buck Rogers

@wiscot

@Buck Rogers

… but there had probably ought to be one against mounting the rear derailleur on the left side of a bike.

Perhaps it's a disc brake caliper. C-Record, by the look of it, just like what Merckx used for the 1972 hour record in Mexico City.
chuckp says:

Jun 3 2017 at 10:51 am

I'm going with Spartacus on the cover.
litvi says:

Jun 3 2017 at 11:10 am

@MangoDave

@litvi

@Buck Rogers

@wiscot

@Buck Rogers

… but there had probably ought to be one against mounting the rear derailleur on the left side of a bike.

Perhaps it’s a disc brake caliper. C-Record, by the look of it, just like what Merckx used for the 1972 hour record in Mexico City.

Nice.
BacklashJack says:

Jun 3 2017 at 7:46 pm

It's Kittel in last year's Giro. Duh.
KogaLover says:

Jun 4 2017 at 6:17 am

@Teocalli

Track bikes have no derailleurs nor brakes.
Teocalli says:

Jun 4 2017 at 6:37 am

@KogaLover

@Teocalli

Track bikes have no derailleurs nor brakes.

Ha - wouldn't sort you fitting one per the methods before D Mounts were built in.....you could even then just about fit it on the wrong side.

Brakes only slow you down..........