It’s funny what goes through your head at 3am when you’re woken by a cat. Especially if that cat’s name is Lars, and he was named after the Metallica drummer (not by me, he’s my VMH’s cat). I prefer to call him Jan though, as Jan has always been my favourite Ullrich. So last night Lars woke me up, and unable to get back to sleep I got to thinking: who really is the most awesome Ullrich, and what kind of battles would Jan and Lars have to fight out to win naming rights for a cat? It’s a complex place, my brain at 3am.
We know that these consumate professionals put maximum effort into their chosen fields of expertise. And that they probably put a lot of substance in, too. Jan was always on the job for much longer than Lars; I’ve never heard of Metallica doing six hour gigs without a break between songs, for three weeks at a time. And how hard can drumming really be? I reckon Lars is faking it. And his shirt’s still buttoned. Inhaling a Wasp: Jan wins.
Oh, how the mistakes of your past catch up with you. The innocence and exuberance of youth can manifest itself in ways we later look back on and shudder with that sinking feeling of “what was I thinking?” But a good mullet outdoes a bad perm/highlight any day. Lars wins (or loses).
Who doesn’t love a bit of adulation? It might seem like Lars has a bigger captive audience here, but I bet Jan passed a hundred thousand fans on his way to the line that day alone. None of them had to pay $150 for the privilege either. Do I even need to mention how badass that jersey is? And who gives their fans the middle finger? Jan wins, and wins big.
Fame and fortune can trump ordinary looks in a heartbeat. And when it comes to stepping out on the red carpet, having a beautiful woman on your arm is mandatory. Both our heroes have done exceptionally well for themselves in the wife stakes, though Jan made sure he had the height advantage. I don’t think Lars will be complaining though. Let’s call it a draw.
We like to party, party! Jan doesn’t mind putting away a few pints in the off season, and when he’s sufficiently lubed, well, sometimes things can get out of hand. I mean, who hasn’t been to Oktoberfest, dressed in ridiculous shorts, puffy shirts and flowery braces, downed a dozen Schofferhofers, dropped a couple of tabs then driven the Porsche into a bike rack? Lars, on the other hand, just couldn’t keep up the pace and ended up in rehab on a diet of chocolate milk shakes… and he couldn’t even keep them down. Rock and Roll my arse. Jan wins.
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Good to see that "Vive la difference" is alive and well, @starclimber - but apart from that what do you really think of them? I always assume critics have perfect pitch and compose symphonies for fun each evening. Isn't that fair comparison? I do wonder though how some people think musicians (and take that term how you like) are meant to eat and pay life's bills.
@Daccordi Rider
No, I was not hit by a truck. Gianni was merely referencing my tendency to ride on open highways populated by very large road trains, which are triple trailer trucks, 50m long. For that reason, as well as general sanity, I disdain the injunction banning mirrors, and show Fronk my buttocks, as I sport a discrete Zefal Spy on my handlebar.
I fell while racing track and broke my sinister clavicle. Happily I was bolted backtogether for a rapid recovery.
@scaler911
@scaler911
+1 totally. Fuck the record companies.
I lost aaaall sympathy for SyCo and his moneygrubbing like the day they decided it'd be a good idea to charge £12.99 for a CD that cost 99p to put on the shelf, above a £7.99 cassette version which cost £1.50 to put on the shelf below.
Jan would kick Lars' butt fwiw.
mrhallorann
if you weren't feeling old before, last week, ...and justice for all was released 25 years ago!
Like many out there, the whole napster debacle turned me off Metallica for along time, it was Master of Puppets which brought me back, which is still their finest release. (it's no Reign in Blood, though)
As for the topic at hand, I'll Ullrich with two L's.
Also, those of you ripping on drummers need to check this guy out (Dave King - The Bad Plus - Flim)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iECeetxtm0g
@Chris
Heheheheee, there is a first time for everything.
@mrhallorann
If we're talking about drummers, the conversation should have started and ended here:
Yeah, Bonzo was the shizzle, but Music is not a competition, and good bands are made up of musicians who fit together, regardless of their technical abilities.
Supergroups always suck.
Its probably even more true to say that great music is made when band members react against each other in the right way.
Look at Fleetwood Mac and Rumours. They were barely speaking, but the album is brillliant as a result.
Lars does not have to be the worlds best drummer, if there is any such thing. He just happened to be the right one for that band. As well as being a principal song-writer, visionary, and driving force. He's not bad on the skins though.
Th only reason that Lars ever tape traded was because he was in the US and he could not actually buy physical copies of the Euro bands he liked. He had a massive collection of music and just had a passion to share that with people.
@frank
Who the fuck's that guy.
@urbanwhitetrash
25 years?!?!
Yeah, that made me feel old.....