Categories: Guest ArticleVelominati Super Prestige

Guest Article: Cyclops VSP

Cyclops pulling the group through the left hander

The Velominati Super Prestige has historically been the work of professional bike races. We focus on the Pro races for a simple reason: we know the races and riders, so Schleculating on where our favorite riders will finish becomes a left-brain/right-brain kind of confused mess that ends with our picks looking more Picasso than they do Rembrandt.

With that, we have our first VSP event for a community member’s race as Cyclops subjects himself to your predictions for where he will finish in Saturday’s race. Assuming you don’t know any of the other racers riding in the Allan Butler Memorial Critierium, we’re focussed on only one rider: Cyclops; enter his name into whichever place in the top five you think he’ll finish. Points are awarded as usual, with 5 for first, 4 for second, 3 for third, 2 for fourth, and 1 for fifth, with a point going to anyone who gets him in the top five but not in the right place.

As for any other community members who have a race coming up and are willing to add the pressure of meeting the expectations of our community to that you already have of validating your family’s love by meeting their expectations; send us the details about your event and, depending on the timing, we’ll run a VSP for you as well.

Yours in Cycling,

Frank

—

I guess since I’m the most masochistic (actually I think narcissistic is probably closer to the truth) of the Velominati and enjoy putting myself out there for public berating, Frank thought a Super Prestige with a twist might be in order. This coming July 9th is our local downtown criterium. The Allan Butler Memorial Criterium was started after a local racer was struck and killed by a taxi while crossing the street in Las Vegas at the Interbike show a few years ago.

The Cyclops VSP will consist of merely trying to guess what place I will finish in the event. To help you make a semi-informed guess I’ll give you a little background on me and my racing.

I’ll be turning 50 years old in early August.
I started road racing two seasons ago.
I’m a Cat 5.
I was really into BMX racing and won the ’96 Idaho State Championship for 31-35 Year Old Cruiser.
Southeast Idaho is not a huge hotbed for road racing but since I began racing I have always placed at least equal to or higher than the previous race*
I finished 5th in the last race I entered.
Last year I finished 13th in my class in the Allan Butler Crit.
I have been told by a lot of people that I am riding much stronger than I was last year.
I plan on going off the front right at the beginning of the race.

So there you have it. Good Luck!

*Not counting a DNF at last year’s Boise Twilight Criterium when my rear wheel was hit from behind and had half its spokes ripped out.

Cyclops

I really like riding road bikes as fast as possible. I live in Lexington, KY so here is a standing offer to anybody coming my way: Need a place to crash, need a steak grilled to perfection, need a beer you can't see through, need your wheels trued, need theological insight? I'll hook you up. Just get a hold of me.

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View Comments

Cyclops says:

Jul 12 2011 at 3:38 pm

@frank @Marcus

It's not a bandana, it's a V-Juice recycling accoutrement. It collects all the V that squeezes out of me head when I'm Cyclopsing. Then I ship the squeezin's to France and they water the flower along the Tour routes with it.

With Cyclops V-Squeezin's

Without
Nate says:

Jul 12 2011 at 4:06 pm

@Cyclops

@frank @Marcus
It's not a bandana, it's a V-Juice recycling accoutrement.

Doing your new jersey proud. No curse of the +1 jersey here.
Collin says:

Jul 12 2011 at 4:15 pm

@Jeff in PetroMetro
I think it would have to be To Horner. Cyclops is looking PRO, but Horner *is* PRO.
mcsqueak says:

Jul 12 2011 at 4:30 pm

@Cyclops

Those flowers sure are nice, but what happens if you just wring it back out into your mouth?
mcsqueak says:

Jul 12 2011 at 4:53 pm

@scaler911

@mcsqueak
I think it was taken by Leonard Johnson @ Hotfootphoto. Bad crash.
so back from vacation and got to ride McKenzie Pass which is currently closed to cars, only open to peds and bikes. 112K with 1525 meters of climbing. Single best ride I've ever done. Period. Thing is I broke the rear shifter the day before, and couldn't fix it, being in the woods and and the 4th of July and all. Set the rear @ 17 and did it on a single speed. In 20+ years of riding, I've never broken one even after crashing. Anyone else? It's a SRAM.

Hah, thanks for the photog's name. Yeah there were some bad ones at that crit, for sure.

Why is McKenzie pass closed to cars right now? Do they do that every year?
Jeff in PetroMetro says:

Jul 12 2011 at 4:56 pm

@Collin
To Horner: To suffer a debilitating concussion, then ride the final 25 kilometers of a stage in the Tour de France without the slightest awareness of what you are doing or where you are.
minion says:

Jul 12 2011 at 5:47 pm

@Jeff in PetroMetro

Addition to the Lexicon? The verb TO CYCLOPS
To Cyclops: To smile while laying down The V. (This, of course, confuses and ultimately crushes the will of all the other members of the peloton and leads to a podium finish.)
Example: Horner cycloped throughout the entire Tour of California.

hehe fun with tenses:
Cyclopsed: the greater demoralisation that occurs asCyclops spins away from you grinning,
Cyclobbered - being lapped in a crip by the cyclopsee.
minion says:

Jul 12 2011 at 5:49 pm

Oops I meant Cyclopser
scaler911 says:

Jul 12 2011 at 5:54 pm

@mcsqueak
Only in the middle of winter actually. This year tho (as evidenced by the shit rain outside right now (it is the middle of July right?)) they had over 20ft of snow (sorry, 6.1m) at the top. By the time ODOT could even get up there, it was 'spring heavy' and they could only get one lane through for their use. They kept the gates shut to cars, open to bikes and peds. Absolutely fantastic. They had freshly paved it a couple years ago. Bliss, even with only one gear working.
scaler911 says:

Jul 12 2011 at 6:04 pm

I had a question: I ran across "Sabotaging the Saboteur' (frackin' crazy Frank!!), and someones GOT to point me towards more stuff where I can read comments from adrian? Jezzus, comedy gold right there.