Velominati Super Prestige: Giro d’Italia 2012
After a winter of long training rides that offered more in the way of numb extremities than it did in acute enjoyment, I have to say that the warming of the air and brightening of the skies have served to remind me that while I love riding in bad weather, I certainly don’t have anything against riding when its nice out.
But dont think for a minute that this quells my desire to watch the Pros battle the elements as well as each other and, quite frankly, after a Spring Classics campaign that gave us only fleeting tastes of Rule #9 Glory, I welcome the arrival of the 2012 Giro d’Italia which holds the distinction of being held in the worst weather and over the worst roads. Come July, I’ll get just as wound up as anyone about the biggest racing spectacle of the year, but in my heart, the Giro d’Italia is the best Grand Tour of the three.
All that said, I’m a little disappointed to see that the Giro starts in Denmark. Not that I have anything against Denmark – lovely place – it’s just that this choice takes us away from the classical Giro opening week involving a mountaintop finish or two and gives us a Tour de France-style opening week of flat stages and crosswinds. We’ll have to wait almost two weeks before we start seeing the riders cross the highest passes and hitting the uphill finishes, though the final week does appear to set us up for considerable fireworks as the second-last stage will see the riders cross the Mortirolo and finish atop the Stelvio.
What does this mean for the VSP? Quite a bit, actually. Bearing in mind the changes we’ve made to the Rest-Day picks from the years past, it means that as the race settles out, those who have made changes to their lineup on the first rest day will not have the opportunity to do so again on the second rest day. And, those who wait for the second day will see steep penalties tallying up against their totals. But on the line is a Symbol Pack, the chance to post for the rest of year with the Maglia Rosa VSP Badge and, of course, the grand prize of the personalized Shop Apron. Check the start list and with any divine beings that you might be able to influence, and then get your picks in by the time the countdown timer goes to zero at 5am Pacific on the 5th May.
For reference, please review the new Grand Tour scoring and penalty guidelines. Also note that since these new rules required new coding and this represents the first Grand Tour, there is always the chance that there are defects in the code. Watch your picks and your points as we move through the event and alert us of any anomalies. If your points seem wrong, use the dispute function to alert us of the matter; complaints in the posts feed to this effect will be ignored. Finally, don’t leave anything to the last minute so we have time to fix any problems before its too late. Good luck.
Scoring:
Readers who wish to enter shall enter their predictions for the top five placings on General Classification of each Grand Tour by 5am on the day of the first stage or prologue.
Points
Points will be scored as follows: 20 points for first place, 15 for second, 10 for third, 7 for fourth, and 5 for fifth; plus 3 points per rider in the top five regardless of the rider’s placing, but riders are not scored twice.
Changing of the Picks*
Contestants are allowed to make line up changes on one of the rest days of the Grand Tours but not both. These changes will come with a point penalty. You will be allotted one (1) rest day to make swaps in grand tours. You pick either the first or second rest day. The penalties for swapping will be lower for the first rest day than the second. This will allow you to swap out a rider(s) who gets caught in some first week nervousness with a 5 point penalty for each swap. Or make some go for broke/doomed to fail break-away swap on the second rest day for a 10 point penalty per swap. You make one swap or five on either rest day for the corresponding 5 or 10 point penalty per swap.
Additionally, if one of your riders crashes out, DNF’s, or DNS’s, you may swap them out on a rest day with corresponding penalties if you haven’t already used up your one rest day swap. The only exception to this is riders who are booted from a race for a positive test; if your rider is on the juice and gets chucked off the race, you get a free swap of that rider within 24 hours of the disqualification.
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wankspanner, wankspanner, wankspanner … sounds like a little Dorset village
Ok, here goes. Yawn.
VSP PICKS:
1. Boring as Basso shit
2. Zinger burger
3. Scarred for life
4. Rujano
5. The Garate Kid
Shhh. Quit slagging my homie Alberto. He’s tougher than he looks and he’s got a mean brute squad…
@minion
Isn’t this your internet girlfriend?
Swivel Sr will finally gain ground w/o jr but it’ll be too late. I’m growing bored with those two.
VSP PICKS:
1. Scraps only
2. Sir Basso a Lot
3. Kreuz in
4. Rujano
5. J-Rod
@Harminator
Actually, here she is:
No one knows which one.
@Oli
We also have to remember he wouldn’t have liked any of the middle stages as that was when his boys were too busy staring in to one another’s eyes to race their bikes.
It’s hard for me to put Basso in 2nd. I think he really want’s to win this thing. I follow his twitter feed (the English stuff), and he seems all hyped up to do the Giro. He might just pull it off as he rides into form before the mountains come. Folk around here bag on him, and he does have a personality similar to Big Mig. I like him for some reason though.
Side bet; Will the hoops ride all the way to Milano? I’d think not.
@Harminator
@itburns
You’re both on my list. Your Giro picks are all gonna fail miserably, moments before deciding on a sex change and coming to live in your spare rooms.
After 10 weeks of my bikes being on a Far(sorry I need to swear less)king ship, I may actually resemble the mulleted fatty in his underpants. And in his defence, that sheep’d probably be the best offer he’s gonna get for a while.
@scaler911
My gut’s saying Basso as well, lets not forget folks had cuddles written off before he won too.I’d be happiest if Basso won, though we all know that counts for nothing.
@frank
The more I hear your fucked up thoughts on what makes good racing the less of you I think.
You get so tied up in the “panache” and “spectacle” of racing, you forget that its a race. And the only thing worth doing in a race is winning it.
You want subjective results, go do gymnastics you fucking aesthete.
@minion
and as for you – as soon as you slithered into Australia, there has been a disturbance in the Force and Cadel has been riding like Bad Cadel. Time for you to take the ship back home. You should have a few aussie dollars in your purse now. You can live like a king back home.
@frank
I was with you until I saw these shoe covers.
@brett
Yours or theirs?
Basso showed merit in Romandie [33] and his vision is clear. Fränk cannot afford to think too much, he must deliver.
VSP PICKS:
1. Ivan Basso
2. JoaquÃm RodrÃguez Oliver
3. Roman Kreuziger
4. Alessandro Ballan
5. Fränk Schleck
@scaler911
\\ Basso. Trust him.
@minion
Sabotage these no hopers, you portly flightless bird with an aversion to possums.
VSP PICKS:
1. Branislau Samoilau
2. Cavendish
3. Alberto Lausada Alguacil
4. Egor Silin
5. Frank Schleck
Hey Minion;
Look over there!!!
Brett’s got ciggie burns on his Vankspanner
VSP PICKS:
1. Basso
2. Scarponi
3. Kreuziger
4. Purito
5. Pinotti
Like so many others I can’t see Basso doing it (unless the Pharms come through in time), don’t think Scarponi has it in him for 2 in a row and can’t bear to put Grimpelder in my picks. I’m hoping it’s going to result in a proper scrap between RK and J-Rod to counter the forthcoming Wiggo / Cuddles bore-fest-decided-by-TTs.
Cav will do enough to try and wrap up the points jersey early, but if it looks like it isn’t working he’ll duck out early. Same for the Tour, although he seems to want it more. If he can’t win stages without spoiling Wiggo’s support he’ll go home and do penance reps of Box Hill to try and get ready for a crack at Olympic gold.
VSP PICKS:
1. Kreuziger
2. J-Rod
3. Shirley Basso
4. Mascarponi
5. Pozzato
@wiscot
Enjoying it so far. Nice to have some context, but it does feel a bit schizophrenic at times. Makes me want to get to Italy, though…
VSP PICKS:
1. Scarpers
2. Basso
3. J-Rod
4. Frank Schleck
5. Geraint Thomas
@Marcus
Now now Fraahhnk, don’t let the nasty man get you down. Everyone knows that Australian lawyers sit squarely between sexual deviants and the royal family on the morality scale, and to be honest if I had to guess which group Marcus belonged to i’d have to pick both.
And as for you sweetheart, I’m nowhere near ruining your country yet. I’m planning a charity ride across the Gold Coast where I get sponsored for pissing in every swimming pool I can. Not many Aussies are gonna sponsor me, but with all the other kiwis living up there I’m gonna make a mint…
(I know, with all the chlorine it won’t make much difference, but I’ll know what I’ve done, which will make it all worthwhile).
@itburns
If you’re from Aberdeen, it’s the one on the left.
@mouse
You’re not making it very hard for me…
Tweak.
VSP PICKS:
1. Scarponi
2. Basso
3. Kreuziger
4. Rujano
5. Schleck Le Vieux
VSP PICKS:
1. Scarponi
2. Basso
3. Kreuziger
4. Gadret
5. Rujano
@brett, @Oli
You’re like a pair of cats, the two of you, but without the long term memory and the calm nerves. My favorite thing is that no matter how many times I say “last year’s tour was great” you two can keep coming back and saying “last year’s tour was great, how can you say it was boring?”
Last year’s tour was great, better than usual. Last year’s Giro was lame, I blame Dopey. On balance, over the past 10-20 years, the Giro gives a more exciting race than the Tour. And, to proactively unbunch your respective panties: I’ll remind you that just because I prefer the Giro doesn’t mean I don’t enjoy or like the Tour. I like the Giro better.
@Marcus
Thats good, once you think little enough of me that we’re on level with each other, we’ll get into a proper argument!
@minion
I saw the girls he was going after. His argument inadvertently supported yours.
Here goes nothin’. It’s been said many-a-time but bears repeating – the Schlecks deserve mention in name only – not riding ability – and that’s dwindling fast – so fuck ’em. As far as Basstardo goes, I’m afraid he’ll just be out for more cyclotourism with Smyd – another no go. So who’s got the combo of form and will to mix with this year’s Touresque course? See my pics.
VSP PICKS:
1. J-Rod
2. Scared-Pony
3. GodRay
4. Winona’s Got a Big Brown Beaver
5. Kreuzenegger
@Harminator
Jeebus Schleck looks like a pussy in that pic.
VSP PICKS:
1. J-Rod
2. Scared-Pony
3. GodRay
4. Winona’s Got a Big Brown Beaver
5. Kreuzenegger
@frank
WTF? How can you say that?
Did you even watch last year? Last year’s Tour was great! How can you say it was boring?
Check out Faboo rockin’ the popped collar and the Casually Deliberate arm-sling.
Sounds like he’s getting a little bit frustrated with the recovery process.
@Marko
OK that’s got me… presumably it is Weight of a Nation but how do the Beaver and the Hesjedal connect ?
@ChrisO
You’ve almost got it. This will get you the rest of the way…
VSP PICKS:
1. J-Rod
2. Scared-Pony
3. GodRay
4. Winona’s Got a Big Brown Beaver
5. Kreuzenegger
@The Oracle
“You’re a Knob End Cassani!”
This is much more like it, squabbling over the perceived moral turpitude of neighbouring nations and posting pictures of sheep! Last time I stuck my oar in, I was mistakenly accused of being a twat on account of having no understanding of the fine points of 11 speed crank construction – with this it can just be unspecific twattery!
I love the Tour (and despite stating that I’ve only been into road cycling for about a year I’ve always watched it but just without managing to get completely OCD about each of it’s little nuances or taking note of how many spokes were in the spare wheel handed to whoever punctured at a crucial moment in stage 14 of the 1987 edition) but there does seem to be something about the Giro that the Tour lacks, a little bit of the ragged edge passion of someone punching above their weight.
That said, if ever there was a Keeper’s Tour to follow one of the Grand Tours, the Vuelta would be a hoot.
VSP PICKS:
1. Basso
2. J Rod
3. Scarponi
4. Gadret
5. Thomas
@minion
Hate to burst your bubble of stereotypes but I left the law game over 10 years ago – I am now a piano player in a whorehouse. I think you have greatly insulted Fronk by trying to protect his feelings.
VSP PICKS:
1. Scarponi
2. Basso
3. Cunego
4. Schleck
5. Hesjedal
This will be interesting!
VSP PICKS:
1. Basso
2. Scarponi
3. Kreuziger
4. F Schelck
5. J Rod
@Chris
What the fuck are you talking about you idiot! Everyone knows that nobody punctured on stage 14 in 1987. I thought that was basic, common knowledge for anyone with an IQ higher than a bucket of shit, bro-set boy!
VSP PICKS:
1. Basso
2. Scarponi
3. Kreuziger
4. F Schleck
5. J Rodriguez
@harminator
As I said, I didn’t get obsessive about it, you may well be right, but you googled it, just to make sure, didn’t you?
There was some proper mentalist descending and classic old school jerseys going on, though.
@harminator
Oh and another thing, Bro-Set on the mountain bikes only. I from the the far east so it’s Group-San for me.
VSP PICKS:
1. Juan Antonio Flecha Giannoni
2. Matthew Harley Goss
3. Michele Scarponi
4. Roman Kreuziger
5. Filippo Pozzato
Here goes nothing. Despite all the support he’s getting here, I feel like I’m going out on a limb to pick young Kreuziger to take it all. He better not win and then have to give up the Maglia Rosa for friggin’ doping.
VSP PICKS:
1. Old Style (it’s Kreuz-ened)
2. Ace of Bass (o)
3. Roman Wasn’t Built in a Day
4. Hope of a Nation
5. Giving you one more try, Frank
@The Oracle
Two times Kreuziger?
Oh, and by the way, don’t think it doesn’t make my skin crawl picking anyone to win who is wearing that godawful Astana kit.
VSP PICKS:
1. Old Style (it's Kreuz-ened)
2. Ace of Bass (o)
3. Roman Wasn't Built in a Day
4. Hope of a Nation
5. Giving you one more try, Frank
@marko
He does look like a pussy but he appears to be Rule #7 compliant!
@Netraam
Fer fuck’s sake, you’re right. I got so carried away with the nicknames that I was thinking Scarponi (Italian–Rome–????), but coming up with a second name for Kreuziger.
Fixed.
VSP PICKS:
1. Old Style (it’s Kreuz-ened)
2. Ace of Bass (o)
3. Michele Wild Poni
4. Hope of a Nation
5. Giving you one more try, Frank
@The Oracle
Well, it would make sense I guess…