Velominati Super Prestige: Giro d’Italia 2015

The Prophet crushes fools on the way to the Tre Chime in the '68 Giro

This is the most exciting thing that’s happened in Cycling since April. Yes, that’s a full two weeks with nothing exciting happening and its been killing me. I know its been killing you, too.

I love the Giro, the master alchemist of bad weather and big mountains that keeps the racing exciting from the first day through the last. You can generally count on enough climbing in the first week to see the leadership bounce around like one of those singing ping pong balls on Sesame Street. The race has its fair share of provenance as well, with many a legendary battle fought between legendary riders.

This year’s race is also remarkable for the fact that a GC rider is not only racing both the Giro and the Tour, but for Contador’s publicly stated objective of doing the Giro-Tour double, a feat not matched since Pantani crushed it back in 1998. That is an awesome goal, I just wish it was a goal set forth by a rider I could get enthusiastic about. A quick scan of the start list has me wondering who is made of the same stuff Bertie, and I’m coming up short. Uran Uran and Pozzovivo are the standouts; and I have serious doubts about Porte being able to come up with the goods, not to mention my boy Ryder who, despite having actually won the Giro, does not inspire confidence in his ability to repeat the feat. It is looking like energy bars may be Contador’s biggest rival for the title, like in last year’s Tour.

Now that I’ve given you three paragraphs of useless drivel that you’ve probably already skipped over, I feel comfortable getting down to Road Tacks. This is the Giro, people, lots of points at stake. And those points are going towards amazing prizes including a Jaeger frame and a Café Roubaix wheelset. There is plenty of time for you to Delgado the thing, too, so my advice is that you avoid doing that. Give yourself enough time to enter your picks so if something has gone amuck, you have time to hit “reload” or come back V minutes later to try again before the event closes. Remember, your procrastination in this matter will not result in the only Keeper with database skills diving into the backend to enter your picks for you. (And if you do encounter a problem, please be so kind as to take a screenshot and upload it as the descriptor “it didn’t work” doesn’t help us debug the problem.)

The scoring for the Grand Tours is a tad more involved than the one-day races, so look them over before making your prognostications. (One of the best things about the VSP is that I usually get to use the word “prognostication”, an opportunity one should always relish.)

So get your picks in before the countdown clock goes to zero, hit the go button, and good luck.

[vsp_results id=”32941″/]

frank

The founder of Velominati and curator of The Rules, Frank was born in the Dutch colonies of Minnesota. His boundless physical talents are carefully canceled out by his equally boundless enthusiasm for drinking. Coffee, beer, wine, if it’s in a container, he will enjoy it, a lot of it. He currently lives in Seattle. He loves riding in the rain and scheduling visits with the Man with the Hammer just to be reminded of the privilege it is to feel completely depleted. He holds down a technology job the description of which no-one really understands and his interests outside of Cycling and drinking are Cycling and drinking. As devoted aesthete, the only thing more important to him than riding a bike well is looking good doing it. Frank is co-author along with the other Keepers of the Cog of the popular book, The Rules, The Way of the Cycling Disciple and also writes a monthly column for the magazine, Cyclist. He is also currently working on the first follow-up to The Rules, tentatively entitled The Hardmen. Email him directly at rouleur@velominati.com.

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View Comments

rfreese888 says:

May 12 2015 at 1:46 am

Whole Giro feels very open ended - interesting to see if Bertie goes on the attack today.
Julez says:

May 12 2015 at 2:51 am

I flipped a coin between Uran and Pozzovivo as my Number 4 (with a wildcard in 5th); so glad I did that! Obviously, the VSP is not all-consuming, and I hate to see riders go down like that.

Also, re this:

“Unfortunately, I saw Pozzovivo crash because I was four wheels behind him,” Matthews said. “It’s terrible to see something like that and I don’t know what to say. I just hope he’s ok. It breaks your heart to see that, and along with my team, I’d like to dedicate this win to him.”

What a gent! Bling has gone up in my estimation. Although I still do not forgive him for having the nickname 'Bling'.
wiscot says:

May 12 2015 at 7:05 am

@Barracuda

Aussie Craft brewers ahead of the game with a fine IPA for the man in pink !

Is that what is traditionally eaten while imbibing Bling? Rabbit food?
wiscot says:

May 12 2015 at 7:06 am

@Julez

I flipped a coin between Uran and Pozzovivo as my Number 4 (with a wildcard in 5th); so glad I did that! Obviously, the VSP is not all-consuming, and I hate to see riders go down like that.

Also, re this:

“Unfortunately, I saw Pozzovivo crash because I was four wheels behind him,” Matthews said. “It’s terrible to see something like that and I don’t know what to say. I just hope he’s ok. It breaks your heart to see that, and along with my team, I’d like to dedicate this win to him.”

What a gent! Bling has gone up in my estimation. Although I still do not forgive him for having the nickname ‘Bling’.

I like your sophisticated strategy for picking riders. Might try that as the throwing darts while blindfolded hasn't worked very well for me so far.
ChrisO says:

May 12 2015 at 8:50 am

Overheard in Kazakhstan...

"Alexander Nikolaevich, we are very lucky to be starting the Giro after that govnosos mandavoshka* Cookson was nearly taking our licence."

"Boris Ivanovich do not worry. I say to Cookson 'Brian pizda ti jopglazaya **. Shut the fuck up. You want Astana licence OK ostosi, potom prosi. ***"

"Nu ti dajosh Alexander Nikolaevich. You so macho. He is your petookh oppooscheny#. What did he say?"

"He say 'No problem Mr Vino, no problem for you. But ne ssi v kompot, tam povor nogi moet.@ Just take it easy in the Giro and will be all forgotten.

"So what happen today? I just turn on Eurosport for highlights and... hooy na ny+ we put man in break and whole team on front to smash race? Boris Ivanovich you sobakayob shluha vokzal'naja. Shob tebe deti v sup srali.^"

*shit sucker cunt louse

**you are vagina with eyes on your ass

*** blow my cock then make a wish

#prison bitch

@don't piss in the punch, the cook is washing his feet in it

+no fucking way

^dog fucker train station whore. I hope your children shit in your soup..
rfreese888 says:

May 12 2015 at 9:37 am

They did look juiced that's for sure
Julez says:

May 12 2015 at 10:27 am

@wiscot

@Julez

I flipped a coin between Uran and Pozzovivo as my Number 4 (with a wildcard in 5th); so glad I did that! Obviously, the VSP is not all-consuming, and I hate to see riders go down like that.

Also, re this:

“Unfortunately, I saw Pozzovivo crash because I was four wheels behind him,” Matthews said. “It’s terrible to see something like that and I don’t know what to say. I just hope he’s ok. It breaks your heart to see that, and along with my team, I’d like to dedicate this win to him.”

What a gent! Bling has gone up in my estimation. Although I still do not forgive him for having the nickname ‘Bling’.

I like your sophisticated strategy for picking riders. Might try that as the throwing darts while blindfolded hasn’t worked very well for me so far.

Don't get too excited; my VSP score isn't the strongest. I was in third overall at one point, then Delgadoed a Women's race and haven't recovered yet.
ped says:

May 12 2015 at 10:56 am

Fookin' 'ell

Possibly Peaked too soon, but will savour a day in Pink
Steampunk says:

May 12 2015 at 12:40 pm

Hmm: there's a lesson about picking wild cards. Zakarin lost 17 minutes today. Maybe not the best pick for fourth place. Insert crack about Kazakh sauce being stronger than Russian juice here. They made hay about Uran getting dropped, but he's only a minute down. Did he crack or just get caught out of position?
bsqueeze says:

May 12 2015 at 1:49 pm

Looks like Jagger had no team mates to help him out when Aru upped the pace with c. 11km to go. Not surprising given they are two guys down inside 4 days of racing.

If it is a one off blip, then a minute should be recovered (and more) across the ITT. If it is the start of things to come, then up and over the Mortirolo is going to be miserable for him.