Velominati Super Prestige: Giro d’Italia 2015

The Prophet crushes fools on the way to the Tre Chime in the '68 Giro

This is the most exciting thing that’s happened in Cycling since April. Yes, that’s a full two weeks with nothing exciting happening and its been killing me. I know its been killing you, too.

I love the Giro, the master alchemist of bad weather and big mountains that keeps the racing exciting from the first day through the last. You can generally count on enough climbing in the first week to see the leadership bounce around like one of those singing ping pong balls on Sesame Street. The race has its fair share of provenance as well, with many a legendary battle fought between legendary riders.

This year’s race is also remarkable for the fact that a GC rider is not only racing both the Giro and the Tour, but for Contador’s publicly stated objective of doing the Giro-Tour double, a feat not matched since Pantani crushed it back in 1998. That is an awesome goal, I just wish it was a goal set forth by a rider I could get enthusiastic about. A quick scan of the start list has me wondering who is made of the same stuff Bertie, and I’m coming up short. Uran Uran and Pozzovivo are the standouts; and I have serious doubts about Porte being able to come up with the goods, not to mention my boy Ryder who, despite having actually won the Giro, does not inspire confidence in his ability to repeat the feat. It is looking like energy bars may be Contador’s biggest rival for the title, like in last year’s Tour.

Now that I’ve given you three paragraphs of useless drivel that you’ve probably already skipped over, I feel comfortable getting down to Road Tacks. This is the Giro, people, lots of points at stake. And those points are going towards amazing prizes including a Jaeger frame and a Café Roubaix wheelset. There is plenty of time for you to Delgado the thing, too, so my advice is that you avoid doing that. Give yourself enough time to enter your picks so if something has gone amuck, you have time to hit “reload” or come back V minutes later to try again before the event closes. Remember, your procrastination in this matter will not result in the only Keeper with database skills diving into the backend to enter your picks for you. (And if you do encounter a problem, please be so kind as to take a screenshot and upload it as the descriptor “it didn’t work” doesn’t help us debug the problem.)

The scoring for the Grand Tours is a tad more involved than the one-day races, so look them over before making your prognostications. (One of the best things about the VSP is that I usually get to use the word “prognostication”, an opportunity one should always relish.)

So get your picks in before the countdown clock goes to zero, hit the go button, and good luck.

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frank

The founder of Velominati and curator of The Rules, Frank was born in the Dutch colonies of Minnesota. His boundless physical talents are carefully canceled out by his equally boundless enthusiasm for drinking. Coffee, beer, wine, if it’s in a container, he will enjoy it, a lot of it. He currently lives in Seattle. He loves riding in the rain and scheduling visits with the Man with the Hammer just to be reminded of the privilege it is to feel completely depleted. He holds down a technology job the description of which no-one really understands and his interests outside of Cycling and drinking are Cycling and drinking. As devoted aesthete, the only thing more important to him than riding a bike well is looking good doing it. Frank is co-author along with the other Keepers of the Cog of the popular book, The Rules, The Way of the Cycling Disciple and also writes a monthly column for the magazine, Cyclist. He is also currently working on the first follow-up to The Rules, tentatively entitled The Hardmen. Email him directly at rouleur@velominati.com.

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View Comments

Nate says:

May 19 2015 at 11:41 am

@KW

@Harminator

@KW

Just read that Porte and Clarke have both been assessed a 2 minute penalty, which effectively ends Porte’s Giro hopes. Fuckity fuck.

That is completely fucked. Its incredible that the UCI can keep on finding new ways to make themselves look like inanimate fucking objects.

Agree completely. Yes, they both violated a rule, but that’s a stupid fucking rule. If he took a wheel from some guy standing on the side of the road, I could understand. But what difference does it make if the wheels comes from a guy on another team or from neutral service? Fuck all. That’s what difference it makes.

Someone pointed out on the Twitter machine that had Porte himself not tweeted about it, maybe the commissaires don’t even find out. Did they see it happen? I doubt it.

Well, Porte like the fucking genius he is posted openly about the wheel change on instagram. First rule of Illegal Wheel Swap Club is don't talk about Illegal Wheel Swap Club...
Erik says:

May 19 2015 at 11:46 am

@KW

Classy move from Simon Clarke when Porte punctured today.

Classy move, indeed. But the race jury didn't think so. Two minute penalty on top of the time he lost. Sucks for the race.
Erik says:

May 19 2015 at 11:47 am

@nate "First rule of illegal wheel swap club" was the first laugh of a long day at work. Thank you.
wiscot says:

May 19 2015 at 12:54 pm

@Harminator

Incredible. There will be some tension in the Sky camp tonight. Where was the car? Where were the loyal lieutenants? Every other flat stage they’ve been right at the front until the 3k banner. Who will get the keys to the motorhome?

Seriously! You have a legit contender. You give him his own special motorhome. You have two team cars full of spare bikes and wheels. Your superstar team leader punctures and . . . has to get a wheel from another rider on a different team. WTF? The minute Porte felt the tire go he should have had a teammate handy to give up his wheel - and it was the front one - the easiest and quickest to change. Brailsford should be turning on the hairdryer tonight and with good reason. They just screwed themselves big time.
AJ says:

May 19 2015 at 1:19 pm

@KW

@Harminator

@KW

Just read that Porte and Clarke have both been assessed a 2 minute penalty, which effectively ends Porte’s Giro hopes. Fuckity fuck.

That is completely fucked. Its incredible that the UCI can keep on finding new ways to make themselves look like inanimate fucking objects.

Agree completely. Yes, they both violated a rule, but that’s a stupid fucking rule. If he took a wheel from some guy standing on the side of the road, I could understand. But what difference does it make if the wheels comes from a guy on another team or from neutral service? Fuck all. That’s what difference it makes.

Someone pointed out on the Twitter machine that had Porte himself not tweeted about it, maybe the commissaires don’t even find out. Did they see it happen? I doubt it.

They see shit like sticky bottles and magic wrenches happen all the time, but no penalty is ever assessed. What makes this different? It was more obvious? Hardly. The UCI's selective enforcement of rules is ever more baffling.
Harminator says:

May 19 2015 at 1:31 pm

OK Lawyers...

“Art. 12.1.040. Non regulation assistance to a rider from another team, stage races. 200 CHF fine and 2’ penalty”

Did Richie provide assistance to another rider?
piwakawaka says:

May 19 2015 at 2:03 pm

Epic Fail.
wiscot says:

May 19 2015 at 2:29 pm

Hate to say this, but it's Italy and hitting Porte with this penalty takes a bit of pressure off Aru. It's not as if the Giro doesn't have form in favoring Italian riders. If he was still alive you could have asked Fignon about the RAI helicopter in 1984 and the cancelling of the Stelvio stage to suit Moser. Just sayin' is all.
piwakawaka says:

May 19 2015 at 3:20 pm

@wiscot

Hate to say this, but it’s Italy and hitting Porte with this penalty takes a bit of pressure off Aru. It’s not as if the Giro doesn’t have form in favoring Italian riders. If he was still alive you could have asked Fignon about the RAI helicopter in 1984 and the cancelling of the Stelvio stage to suit Moser. Just sayin’ is all.

no doubt this is true, but along with knowing the rules (sport, 101), Sky should know this as well.
dyalander says:

May 19 2015 at 4:56 pm

@Harminator

I'm no fancy big-city lawyer, but I thought it was actually 2.3.012:

"Rights and duties of riders

2.3.012

All riders may render each other such minor services as lending or exchanging food, drink, spanners or accessories. The lending or exchanging of tubular tyres or bicycles and waiting for a rider who has been dropped or involved in an accident shall be permitted only amongst riders of the same team. The pushing of one rider by another shall in all cases be forbidden, on pain of disqualification."

from: http://www.uci.ch/mm/Document/News/Rulesandregulation/16/11/53/2-ROA-20140924-E_English.pdf

So the big question is - are Sky and Orica running tubs or clinchers?