Velominati Super Prestige: La Vuelta a España 2013

The Long Sock Brigade hits the Angliru

Seriously. Is it almost September? This was not the agreement, this was supposed to be an endless summer. And all you A-Holes down there in the Antipodes are seeing the light at the end of the tunnel, enjoying longer days and shorter nights. I don’t need to tell you where you can take that, but it’s dark and it smells. I have no patience for the changing of seasons when it means I’m going to be benching Number One and busting out the headlight.

I’m not going to lie to you; the Vuelta is my least-favorite race of the year. Part of it is the parcours-it’s hard enough to get excited about flat sprint stages in the Tour, but these stages in central Spain that go down a straight freeway for hours are just too much for my brain to find interesting. Hey look! There’s another shrub! Wasn’t he a President at one point? There will be some redeeming points of the race, I’m sure, and the shit-steep climbs they dot along the route are certain to be highlights of the season. But after you do the math, this is the grand tour with the weakest field, the worst route, and-most damning-the strongest signal that Summer is coming to an end on the half of the world that matters.

I can’t be bothered to sort out the route and what stages are going to matter, but I’ll tell you this: for the last few years, the winner of the Vuelta VSP has won the VSP GC. A few years back, @Marcus complained that he only lost the VSP because @Nate used the second Rest Day Swaps to his advantage to take the win, but after heavily increasing the penalties, he kept losing. Typical of a man who posts photos of his todger on a Cycling site. (@Nate, your win was clean according to the VCI.) Speaking of which, at worst the Vuelta will distract from Pat McQuaid and his bid for losing the UCI Presidency.

He has a strong lead in the 2013 Anti-V competition, however.

Check the start list, get your picks in, and don’t Delgado this baby; it could be your ticket to the shop apron. Bon chance.

[vsp_results id=”26944″/]

frank

The founder of Velominati and curator of The Rules, Frank was born in the Dutch colonies of Minnesota. His boundless physical talents are carefully canceled out by his equally boundless enthusiasm for drinking. Coffee, beer, wine, if it’s in a container, he will enjoy it, a lot of it. He currently lives in Seattle. He loves riding in the rain and scheduling visits with the Man with the Hammer just to be reminded of the privilege it is to feel completely depleted. He holds down a technology job the description of which no-one really understands and his interests outside of Cycling and drinking are Cycling and drinking. As devoted aesthete, the only thing more important to him than riding a bike well is looking good doing it. Frank is co-author along with the other Keepers of the Cog of the popular book, The Rules, The Way of the Cycling Disciple and also writes a monthly column for the magazine, Cyclist. He is also currently working on the first follow-up to The Rules, tentatively entitled The Hardmen. Email him directly at rouleur@velominati.com.

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View Comments

Gianni says:

Aug 20 2013 at 8:04 pm

Fuck me, that Geox kit is most horrible, especially the socks. And JJ Cobo, a doper, what has he done since winning the Vuelta? I implore you, ladies and gentleman of the jury, for his socks alone he should have been banned.
sthilzy says:

Aug 20 2013 at 8:11 pm

@DerHoggz

That lead photo must be 'shopped, Wiggins would never get out of the saddle.

Not sure?
Gervais says:

Aug 20 2013 at 8:13 pm

VSP PICKS:

1. vincenzo nibali
2. joaquim rodriguez
3. rigoberto uran
4. daniel martin
5. sergio henao
freddy says:

Aug 20 2013 at 8:27 pm

VSP PICKS:

1. Nibali
2. Henao
3. Rodriguez
4. Valverde
5. Betancur
Barracuda says:

Aug 20 2013 at 8:35 pm

@Daccordi Rider

Here in the Antipodes it is still cold, 5c last night whilst I was doing my hill repeats, but yes the sun is with us a bit longer each days and that holds forth promise.

I haven't usually followed the Vuelta that closely but last years was probably the best tour of the year. Watching Bertie, J Rod and Valverde hammer each other was great racing. Looking forward to this years, it looks like an interesting parcours.

Agree, colder and wetter, the further south of Adelaide, you go, days starting to get a bit longer here @frank so soon no need for the Ay-Up's.
unversio says:

Aug 20 2013 at 8:36 pm

VSP PICKS:

1. NIBALI Vincenzo
2. URAN Rigoberto
3. KREUZIGER Roman
4. RODRIGUEZ OLIVER Joaquin
5. SCARPONI Michele
Tom says:

Aug 20 2013 at 8:48 pm

@Gianni

Fuck me, that Geox kit is most horrible

Better than the Androni Giocattoli kit though

VSP PICKS:

1. Nibali
2. Purito
3. Dan Martin
4. Uran
5. Betancur
Giles says:

Aug 20 2013 at 9:12 pm

I would like to add that with my usual VSP divining powers, I may as well have typed Merckx, Coppi, Sharapova, Lendl and Beckham.

VSP PICKS:

1. Dan Martin
2. Nibali
3. J-Rod
4. Valverde
5. Edwald Boassen Hagen
titirangisi says:

Aug 20 2013 at 9:19 pm

I saw a magic marble on the side of the road - it spoke to me and muttered something... indecipherable. I think it was drunk. Anyway my picks.

VSP PICKS:

1. Nibali
2. J-Rod
3. Uran
4. Valverde
5. Dirty Sanchez
Mikael Liddy says:

Aug 20 2013 at 9:29 pm

Fuck it, need a hail mary to get anywhere near the overall so I'm shooting for a fairytale farewell for Euskatel.

Can't stand to consider Malmerde & I don't reckon Nibbles will absolutely flay himself with a chance at a home ground world champs around the corner.

VSP PICKS:

1. Dirty Sammy
2. Purito
3. His Nibs
4. Don't dream it's over
5. Dan Martin