Velominati Super Prestige: La Vuelta a España 2013

The Long Sock Brigade hits the Angliru

Seriously. Is it almost September? This was not the agreement, this was supposed to be an endless summer. And all you A-Holes down there in the Antipodes are seeing the light at the end of the tunnel, enjoying longer days and shorter nights. I don’t need to tell you where you can take that, but it’s dark and it smells. I have no patience for the changing of seasons when it means I’m going to be benching Number One and busting out the headlight.

I’m not going to lie to you; the Vuelta is my least-favorite race of the year. Part of it is the parcours-it’s hard enough to get excited about flat sprint stages in the Tour, but these stages in central Spain that go down a straight freeway for hours are just too much for my brain to find interesting. Hey look! There’s another shrub! Wasn’t he a President at one point? There will be some redeeming points of the race, I’m sure, and the shit-steep climbs they dot along the route are certain to be highlights of the season. But after you do the math, this is the grand tour with the weakest field, the worst route, and-most damning-the strongest signal that Summer is coming to an end on the half of the world that matters.

I can’t be bothered to sort out the route and what stages are going to matter, but I’ll tell you this: for the last few years, the winner of the Vuelta VSP has won the VSP GC. A few years back, @Marcus complained that he only lost the VSP because @Nate used the second Rest Day Swaps to his advantage to take the win, but after heavily increasing the penalties, he kept losing. Typical of a man who posts photos of his todger on a Cycling site. (@Nate, your win was clean according to the VCI.) Speaking of which, at worst the Vuelta will distract from Pat McQuaid and his bid for losing the UCI Presidency.

He has a strong lead in the 2013 Anti-V competition, however.

Check the start list, get your picks in, and don’t Delgado this baby; it could be your ticket to the shop apron. Bon chance.

[vsp_results id=”26944″/]

frank

The founder of Velominati and curator of The Rules, Frank was born in the Dutch colonies of Minnesota. His boundless physical talents are carefully canceled out by his equally boundless enthusiasm for drinking. Coffee, beer, wine, if it’s in a container, he will enjoy it, a lot of it. He currently lives in Seattle. He loves riding in the rain and scheduling visits with the Man with the Hammer just to be reminded of the privilege it is to feel completely depleted. He holds down a technology job the description of which no-one really understands and his interests outside of Cycling and drinking are Cycling and drinking. As devoted aesthete, the only thing more important to him than riding a bike well is looking good doing it. Frank is co-author along with the other Keepers of the Cog of the popular book, The Rules, The Way of the Cycling Disciple and also writes a monthly column for the magazine, Cyclist. He is also currently working on the first follow-up to The Rules, tentatively entitled The Hardmen. Email him directly at rouleur@velominati.com.

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View Comments

ped says:

Sep 3 2013 at 7:03 am

@ChrisO

@Buck Rogers

@Mike_P

I've got to hand it to Horner. In the category of "if it looks unbelievable, it probably is unbelieveable", he's way up there. For me it was probably one of the most suspect stages I've seen since a bandaged Vino hobbled on to his bike and blitzed the Albi TT at the '07 TdF. Just my opinion.

Yeah, no shit. Dude was suppsoedly one of the only ones to make it through the last generation without ever being suspect but God Damn! Really??? Beating J-Rod, Nibbles and Malmerde, a decade or more younger than him, on these stages.

Oh well, makes for good racing!

Sadly I have to agree. There was some informed guesswork that pointed to him being one of the unnamed riders in the USADA report.

Looks like Lance's fridge from his flat in Girona was never emptied orunplugged....
razmaspaz says:

Sep 3 2013 at 7:34 am

@RedRanger

@frank this is what cycling news has after stage 10

1
Christopher Horner (USA) RadioShack Leopard
40:29:14

2
Vincenzo Nibali (Ita) Astana Pro Team
0:00:43

3
Nicolas Roche (Irl) Team Saxo-Tinkoff
0:00:53

4
Alejandro Valverde Belmonte (Spa) Movistar Team
0:01:02

5
Joaquim Rodriguez Oliver (Spa) Katusha
0:01:40

Yes, I believe what @frank ran standings off of was the mountains classification. Which sucks for anyone doing rest day swaps off of those standings, just another reason not to do rest day swaps.

1
Christopher Horner (USA) RadioShack Leopard
15
pts

2
Vincenzo Nibali (Ita) Astana Pro Team
10

3
Alejandro Valverde Belmonte (Spa) Movistar Team
6

4
Ivan Basso (Ita) Cannondale Pro Cycling
4

5
Joaquim Rodriguez Oliver (Spa) Katusha
2
Buck Rogers says:

Sep 3 2013 at 7:50 am

@ped

@ChrisO

@Buck Rogers

@Mike_P

I've got to hand it to Horner. In the category of "if it looks unbelievable, it probably is unbelieveable", he's way up there. For me it was probably one of the most suspect stages I've seen since a bandaged Vino hobbled on to his bike and blitzed the Albi TT at the '07 TdF. Just my opinion.

Yeah, no shit. Dude was suppsoedly one of the only ones to make it through the last generation without ever being suspect but God Damn! Really??? Beating J-Rod, Nibbles and Malmerde, a decade or more younger than him, on these stages.

Oh well, makes for good racing!

Sadly I have to agree. There was some informed guesswork that pointed to him being one of the unnamed riders in the USADA report.

Looks like Lance's fridge from his flat in Girona was never emptied orunplugged....

Ha! Well played!
Lukas says:

Sep 3 2013 at 8:05 am

VSP PICKS (1st Rest Day Swaps):

1. Horner
2. Nibali
Erik says:

Sep 3 2013 at 8:20 am

Well, I'll take Dan Martin out and put Basso in. But it pains me to do so.

And as for Horner, I have a theory. Challenge me if you will. I think that the reason he hasn't been hit for doping with Armstrong and or USA Cycling is he was too much of a loose cannon to get the "white bag." That's why he rode for other teams. I don't think Lance trusted him. Accordingly, I don't think USA Cycling trusted him. That's why he rode elsewhere.

VSP PICKS (1st Rest Day Swaps):

1. Chris Horner
2. Sammy Sanchez
3. Joaquim Rodriguez
4. Ivan Basso
5. Alejandro Valverde
starclimber says:

Sep 3 2013 at 8:56 am

God, Chris, please don't be. Please.

VSP PICKS (1st Rest Day Swaps):

1. Nibali
2. J. Rodriguez
3. Horner
4. Malmerde
5. Basso
freddy says:

Sep 3 2013 at 9:10 am

Here's a photo that can go in the Lexicon under-- The V. Valverde was quoted in Velonation yesterday: "It seems like a hard time trial, so it shouldn't be bad for me. We'll put some guts on it and suffer as much as we can."

http://www.steephill.tv/2013/vuelta-a-espana/photos/stage-10/#287-PIC393081206.jpg

Is it just me or does the look on Valverde's face seem like he's up to something?
freddy says:

Sep 3 2013 at 9:14 am

Nuts!! The link lands on Basso...scroll back a bit to get yesterday's group of 4 GC contenders (not incl Horner and Nibali who were out in front) with Valverde in the centre of the shot.
snoov says:

Sep 3 2013 at 9:49 am

VSP PICKS (1st Rest Day Swaps):

1. NIBALI Vincenzo
2. HORNER Christopher
3. ROCHE Nicolas
4. RODRIGUEZ Joaquim
5. MARTIN Daniel
hurricane_josh says:

Sep 3 2013 at 10:00 am

poor d mart...

VSP PICKS (1st Rest Day Swaps):

1. Valverde
2. Nibali
3. Horner
4. Uran
5. Basso