Velominati Super Prestige: La Vuelta a España 2013

The Long Sock Brigade hits the Angliru

Seriously. Is it almost September? This was not the agreement, this was supposed to be an endless summer. And all you A-Holes down there in the Antipodes are seeing the light at the end of the tunnel, enjoying longer days and shorter nights. I don’t need to tell you where you can take that, but it’s dark and it smells. I have no patience for the changing of seasons when it means I’m going to be benching Number One and busting out the headlight.

I’m not going to lie to you; the Vuelta is my least-favorite race of the year. Part of it is the parcours-it’s hard enough to get excited about flat sprint stages in the Tour, but these stages in central Spain that go down a straight freeway for hours are just too much for my brain to find interesting. Hey look! There’s another shrub! Wasn’t he a President at one point? There will be some redeeming points of the race, I’m sure, and the shit-steep climbs they dot along the route are certain to be highlights of the season. But after you do the math, this is the grand tour with the weakest field, the worst route, and-most damning-the strongest signal that Summer is coming to an end on the half of the world that matters.

I can’t be bothered to sort out the route and what stages are going to matter, but I’ll tell you this: for the last few years, the winner of the Vuelta VSP has won the VSP GC. A few years back, @Marcus complained that he only lost the VSP because @Nate used the second Rest Day Swaps to his advantage to take the win, but after heavily increasing the penalties, he kept losing. Typical of a man who posts photos of his todger on a Cycling site. (@Nate, your win was clean according to the VCI.) Speaking of which, at worst the Vuelta will distract from Pat McQuaid and his bid for losing the UCI Presidency.

He has a strong lead in the 2013 Anti-V competition, however.

Check the start list, get your picks in, and don’t Delgado this baby; it could be your ticket to the shop apron. Bon chance.

[vsp_results id=”26944″/]

frank

The founder of Velominati and curator of The Rules, Frank was born in the Dutch colonies of Minnesota. His boundless physical talents are carefully canceled out by his equally boundless enthusiasm for drinking. Coffee, beer, wine, if it’s in a container, he will enjoy it, a lot of it. He currently lives in Seattle. He loves riding in the rain and scheduling visits with the Man with the Hammer just to be reminded of the privilege it is to feel completely depleted. He holds down a technology job the description of which no-one really understands and his interests outside of Cycling and drinking are Cycling and drinking. As devoted aesthete, the only thing more important to him than riding a bike well is looking good doing it. Frank is co-author along with the other Keepers of the Cog of the popular book, The Rules, The Way of the Cycling Disciple and also writes a monthly column for the magazine, Cyclist. He is also currently working on the first follow-up to The Rules, tentatively entitled The Hardmen. Email him directly at rouleur@velominati.com.

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  • @unversio

    @Buck Rogers It may be that his strength comes from something else. Belief is a powerful weapon especially when it is sharp.

    How do you mean?  Are you saying that it is a spiritual advantage that giving him his edge?  Just trying to understand your post.  Not judging here.

  • @Buck Rogers I understand your perspective but it's not as though he has done nothing in the last 3 years.  His best GT result is 9th at the Tour in 2010 but he has a lot of results in shorter stage races.

  • @Nate

    @Buck Rogers I understand your perspective but it's not as though he has done nothing in the last 3 years. His best GT result is 9th at the Tour in 2010 but he has a lot of results in shorter stage races.

    And at 41 or 42 he is getting stronger during a three week GT???  That's why no one his age has ever even lead, say nothing about won, any of the three GT's in each of their combined 200 plus year histories!  That is where the younger guys get you.  It catched up to the old guys.  And if he has had this miraculous recovery ability for the last 15 years where the hell has it been?  It's never shown up before in a 3 week GT for him.  Just does not add up.

    Okay, I'll stop defeding this position here as it could go on forever and we'll probably (hopefully) never truly know if he is clean or not b/c you really cannot prove a negative, right?

    Just feels like 1998-2005 all over again to me.  Maybe I should market a wristband for Horner for a dollar a piece?  Might as well make some money off the madness!

  • @Nate

    @Buck Rogers I understand your perspective but it's not as though he has done nothing in the last 3 years. His best GT result is 9th at the Tour in 2010 but he has a lot of results in shorter stage races.

    He would have placed higher that year, but he was ferrying Lance up a climb after a crash -- I don't remember the stage -- before they finally let him off the leash, at which point he didn't lose much time the rest of the race.

  • @Buck Rogers Hey I am not saying I am not skeptical -- just pointing out he's had some good stage racing results in recent years.

    BTW how are you liking that espresso machine?

  • @Nate

    @Buck Rogers Hey I am not saying I am not skeptical "” just pointing out he's had some good stage racing results in recent years.

    BTW how are you liking that espresso machine?

    Ha!  Tracking. 

    But I HAD to counter that his results are not good enough, esp not in the last 3 years and he shouldn't be getting better as he goes over 40!  For me, every argument that I have seen for him is easily countered by stronger arguements if loked at without the WANT to believe.  If he was a 42 year old Kazakhastani I cannot begin to believe he would have the same support.

    But, I have actually been smiling while posting these.  Boring admin afternoon at work!  Giving me something to do. 

    And as for my beauty of an espresso machine:  She has been having trouble for the last two weeks!!!  Works some days, doesn't others.  We realized that we had not been back flushing it for, oh, about 6 months, and now it is dying.  We did a bunch of emergency back flushes and cleaning flushes after speaking to the builder but it might have to make a trip to CA to be repaired.

    That's probably what's got me going.  The fear of losing my espresso mahcine for the next month or two, esp during the Cogal!!!

    Yeah, we're stupid fucks when we come to our beloved espresso machine!!!

  • Guest pundit tomorrow on itv4 for vuelta highlights is Jensy.....should be entertaining...!

  • @Nate

    @Buck Rogers The part of me that recently turned 40 wants to believe but is also bitter and skeptical. The part of me that remains a fan of professional bike racing is tired of GTs and would rather talk about the changes to the back end of Milano Sanremo instead.

    Apparently Rule #65 applies to espresso machines just as much as bicycles.

    Yes!  I am truly, at heart, a lover of the Classics and one day races and the Hardmen and Hard Women that ride them.

    The last 15 years skeletal GT riders just do not hold the same mysticness for me.  Bring on the Giro di Lombardia!!!

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