Seriously. Is it almost September? This was not the agreement, this was supposed to be an endless summer. And all you A-Holes down there in the Antipodes are seeing the light at the end of the tunnel, enjoying longer days and shorter nights. I don’t need to tell you where you can take that, but it’s dark and it smells. I have no patience for the changing of seasons when it means I’m going to be benching Number One and busting out the headlight.
I’m not going to lie to you; the Vuelta is my least-favorite race of the year. Part of it is the parcours-it’s hard enough to get excited about flat sprint stages in the Tour, but these stages in central Spain that go down a straight freeway for hours are just too much for my brain to find interesting. Hey look! There’s another shrub! Wasn’t he a President at one point? There will be some redeeming points of the race, I’m sure, and the shit-steep climbs they dot along the route are certain to be highlights of the season. But after you do the math, this is the grand tour with the weakest field, the worst route, and-most damning-the strongest signal that Summer is coming to an end on the half of the world that matters.
I can’t be bothered to sort out the route and what stages are going to matter, but I’ll tell you this: for the last few years, the winner of the Vuelta VSP has won the VSP GC. A few years back, @Marcus complained that he only lost the VSP because @Nate used the second Rest Day Swaps to his advantage to take the win, but after heavily increasing the penalties, he kept losing. Typical of a man who posts photos of his todger on a Cycling site. (@Nate, your win was clean according to the VCI.) Speaking of which, at worst the Vuelta will distract from Pat McQuaid and his bid for losing the UCI Presidency.
He has a strong lead in the 2013 Anti-V competition, however.
Check the start list, get your picks in, and don’t Delgado this baby; it could be your ticket to the shop apron. Bon chance.
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View Comments
@frank
What's Lantern Rouge in spanish? Nil points but it' been a thoroughly entertaining race. Well done to RedRanger and Old Man Horner. I believe both were clean and their red jerseys will stand the test of time.
@scaler911
No we're not, because he was clearly fingered in the USADA report.
Rider 15, calling Rider 15... you are one lucky doping bastard.
I didn't go deep enough into the USADA report to comment, but I have always though Horner was a stud that up until the last few years was getting cheated out of what he should have been getting. How long did he ride in the shadows of doping's greats just to find maybe a bit of justice and perhaps a leveler playing field?
Nothing level about the road today! Insane
@Buck Rogers
@blaireau
Ack - hit return on the last one before typing. Anyone remember Horner in the late 90's on Mercury? He was racing domestically and was so much stronger than anyone else that he just rode away from races laughing. Now, admittedly, this was after his brief stint in Europe, so he probably learned some "tricks of the trade" there. BUT, it makes the point that he is an exceptional athlete - doping can add a little edge, no doubt, but it can't make an everyman into a superman.
But, it's worth considering that 1) drug testing is incredibly effective these days - they don't just test for the agents, but also for their effects (like changes in RBC counts). There's just not much you can do, even if you have some secret sauce that no-one knows about. 2) Horner has raced very little this year, due to knee issues (welcome to your 40's, Chris), which means he's fresh, and maybe should have more in the tank than guys who've already done one or more GT's this year. 3) he's f-ing ripped! Horner looks 5-7 lbs lighter than I've even seen him before. That makes a huge difference in a race that's being contested second by second on super-steep climbs.
Bottom line - I'm happy to see an old guy (not as old as me, but close enough to identify with) making some waves at the end of his career. I'm hoping he keeps it up next season.
@RedRanger
Awesome! Love that you did not do any rest days swaps!!Contrarians, Mate!
@kixsand
I agree. Fuckin great racing, no matter what!!!
Nibbles won my heart today, that guy gave it ever shred that he had.
Definitely one of the top GT's in recent years for me.
@Buck Rogers
Fuckin autocorrect! Should be congratulations! Not contrarians or centurions or whatever the duck it changes it to!
@Buck Rogers
Duck??? What the hell!?!? Just not my night I guess!
I'll just say one more thing about the "he has to be on something" thing: y'all know that I love this place, and all y'all, but it's curious to me that we let Pantani slide, Ullrich, Gaul, Anquetil, Zoetemelk, Pollentier, and our King: Merckx (among many others). Lance is a dick that ruined other peoples lives, which is why I don't give him a pass.
Dragging the "possibility" that Chris doped to win the Vuelta is a bummer and a distraction. I might add, that until he does test positive, take this up over at cyclingnews. There's plenty of haters over there.
Peace out.