Velominati Super Prestige: La Vuelta a España 2013

The Long Sock Brigade hits the Angliru

Seriously. Is it almost September? This was not the agreement, this was supposed to be an endless summer. And all you A-Holes down there in the Antipodes are seeing the light at the end of the tunnel, enjoying longer days and shorter nights. I don’t need to tell you where you can take that, but it’s dark and it smells. I have no patience for the changing of seasons when it means I’m going to be benching Number One and busting out the headlight.

I’m not going to lie to you; the Vuelta is my least-favorite race of the year. Part of it is the parcours-it’s hard enough to get excited about flat sprint stages in the Tour, but these stages in central Spain that go down a straight freeway for hours are just too much for my brain to find interesting. Hey look! There’s another shrub! Wasn’t he a President at one point? There will be some redeeming points of the race, I’m sure, and the shit-steep climbs they dot along the route are certain to be highlights of the season. But after you do the math, this is the grand tour with the weakest field, the worst route, and-most damning-the strongest signal that Summer is coming to an end on the half of the world that matters.

I can’t be bothered to sort out the route and what stages are going to matter, but I’ll tell you this: for the last few years, the winner of the Vuelta VSP has won the VSP GC. A few years back, @Marcus complained that he only lost the VSP because @Nate used the second Rest Day Swaps to his advantage to take the win, but after heavily increasing the penalties, he kept losing. Typical of a man who posts photos of his todger on a Cycling site. (@Nate, your win was clean according to the VCI.) Speaking of which, at worst the Vuelta will distract from Pat McQuaid and his bid for losing the UCI Presidency.

He has a strong lead in the 2013 Anti-V competition, however.

Check the start list, get your picks in, and don’t Delgado this baby; it could be your ticket to the shop apron. Bon chance.

[vsp_results id=”26944″/]

frank

The founder of Velominati and curator of The Rules, Frank was born in the Dutch colonies of Minnesota. His boundless physical talents are carefully canceled out by his equally boundless enthusiasm for drinking. Coffee, beer, wine, if it’s in a container, he will enjoy it, a lot of it. He currently lives in Seattle. He loves riding in the rain and scheduling visits with the Man with the Hammer just to be reminded of the privilege it is to feel completely depleted. He holds down a technology job the description of which no-one really understands and his interests outside of Cycling and drinking are Cycling and drinking. As devoted aesthete, the only thing more important to him than riding a bike well is looking good doing it. Frank is co-author along with the other Keepers of the Cog of the popular book, The Rules, The Way of the Cycling Disciple and also writes a monthly column for the magazine, Cyclist. He is also currently working on the first follow-up to The Rules, tentatively entitled The Hardmen. Email him directly at rouleur@velominati.com.

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  • Final results - RedRanger officially takes it. Great one, mate!

    Final Race Results
    1. HORNER Christopher
    2. NIBALI Vincenzo
    3. VALVERDE Alejandro
    4. RODRIGUEZ OLIVER Joaquin
    5. ROCHE Nicolas
    Final VSP Results
    1. RedRanger (32 points)
    2. Donnie Bugno (32 points)
    3. Nate (30 points)
    4. Mike_P (28 points)
    5. Collin (28 points)
    6. imakecircles (28 points)
    7. jeyrod (28 points)
    8. Skip (28 points)
    9. eightzero (25 points)
    10. Lukas (25 points)
    ...
    127. eenies (0 points)

    And @dancollins holds a strong lead over @Chica in the GC.

    P.S.

    Anyone saying Horner's ride is jetfuelled is speculating.

    Anyone saying its believable is speculating.

    Just watch the race and enjoy it for fucks sake. Or don't enjoy it. A comment here and there is fine, but keep the endless rehashing of the same old doping speculation over on RBR or CN forums.

  • Onto more important discussions here: looks like all jersey winners are Rule 15 compliant, with the possible exception of Nibbles who might be wearing a bizarre non-standard bib, its hard to tell in this shot.

    I'm feeling ready to issue a extension, by the way, that applies to helmets being team-issue as well. All these guys wearing matching helmets look like they were dangled in a pool and plucked back out by their feet like Achilles by his mother.

    I'm also still very torn by this fucking Specialized Evade. Its a really cool looking helmet but I am very uncomfortable liking a Specialized product.

  • @frank

    I'm also still very torn by this fucking Specialized Evade. Its a really cool looking helmet but I am very uncomfortable liking a Specialized product.

    I hear you, and for a long time I refused to consider anything made by them but lately three major things from Big Red have caught my attention right in a row.

    (1) A S-Works Prevail replaced my last helmet and is the most comfortable brain bucket I've ever worn.

    (2) A few guys in my riding group recently got S-Works Venge(s) around the same time and they are pretty drool inducing.  Not enough to make me ride anything other than Italian steel, but still.

    (3) After demoing an S-Works Enduro recently, I've decided that it will be the next fat tire purchase.  The thing is a 26 pound 160mm travel spaceship/tank/beast.

    So I guess what I'm saying is, I've become fine with it as long as it's S-Works.

  • @frank

    Onto more important discussions here: looks like all jersey winners are Rule #15 compliant, with the possible exception of Nibbles who might be wearing a bizarre non-standard bib, its hard to tell in this shot.

    I'm feeling ready to issue a extension, by the way, that applies to helmets being team-issue as well. All these guys wearing matching helmets look like they were dangled in a pool and plucked back out by their feet like Achilles by his mother.

    I'm also still very torn by this fucking Specialized Evade. Its a really cool looking helmet but I am very uncomfortable liking a Specialized product.

    Other shots of Nibbles seem to show a standard bib but that fugly Astana turquoise looks very pale from some angles - the team leg warmers just look plain wrong in combination with anything.

    Wonder how Achilles would have got on with a bike? Would Zeno still have come up with his paradox?

  • @Buck Rogers

    I wish I still believed in Santa and the Easter Bunny, too

    Both are known dopers. No way they can get all the way round the planet in 1 day to deliver their goods at their ages...

  • @brett

    @Buck Rogers

    I am really the only guy who has followed cycling for the last 27 plus years that is convinced this is not a "natural ride" around here???

    No.

    Definitely not.

  • OK, I'm pretty stoked on my first top 10 finish in a grand tour VSP.  So for all of you who couldn't be there for the finish in Madrid (which I assume means all of you because every time I post something about organizing a Cogal anywhere on the Iberian Peninsula I can hear a pin drop), here are some photos I took from the 180-degree turn at Plaza Colon. Apologies that my photographic abilities pale in comparison to Pedale Forchetta's and his coverage of the Italian races.

    [dmalbum: path="/velominati.com/wp-content/uploads/readers/Skip/2013.09.15.22.01.54/1/"/]

  • @Chris

    It's difficult to say where the line should be drawn in terms of what or who should be questioned but whilst I was unimpressed at the level of baseless questioning of Wiggins and Froome's achievements, I can't help myself from raising an eyebrow at Horner's win.

    If you look back at Wiggo and Froome there's been a build up to the wins and in a history of achievements in Wiggo's case or people who've known Froome for a long time saying that he had the potential but it took an organisation like Sky to draw it out. Horner just doesn't seem to have that behind him and his age is against him.

    I'd be delighted to be proved wrong. About Horner, obviously not Wiggo or Froome.

    Still hanging onto the Wiggins fan-boy love eh? Whilst I am not saying he is a doper, to use his career progression as some evidence of cleanliness isnt a great argument. He was a super-talented pursuiter with an abysmal track record in grand tours. He then has one of the greatest single years for any GC rider in history. No pursuiter has ever made this transition. And he has done nothing since...

    As for Horner, its interesting to wonder how many grand tours during his career he has been designated team leader. And then how many of those weren't after working in earlier season tours as a domestique. My guess is close to zero.

    Fuck it was a great race - Nibali showed the very best way to come second.

  • @frank

    Onto more important discussions here: looks like all jersey winners are Rule #15 compliant, with the possible exception of Nibbles who might be wearing a bizarre non-standard bib, its hard to tell in this shot.

    I'm feeling ready to issue a extension, by the way, that applies to helmets being team-issue as well. All these guys wearing matching helmets look like they were dangled in a pool and plucked back out by their feet like Achilles by his mother.

    I'm also still very torn by this fucking Specialized Evade. Its a really cool looking helmet but I am very uncomfortable liking a Specialized product.

    @frank - get on board a Romin and you may change your mind about specialised

  • @Marcus It's a good point you make about Horner never having raced a grand tour as a leader.

    Wiggo may have had a poor record but I suspect that you could say the same of his time at Confidis as you can of Horner's chances in GTs when riding as a domestique. I suspect that Confidis at that time operated in the old school style of a few training camps and leaving their riders to get on with it rather than pushing innovative training and nutrition, the complete oposite of Sky. He's also always shown strength in time trialling and was gifted a TT heavy parcours in 2012.

    Horner's past suggests potential as a classics rider but theres a lack of really strong results outside of America with the exception of his 2010 Vuelta al País Vasco (I'm excluding his 2000 Tour de Langkawi win).

    Anyway, I'm a David Millar fanboy. He's definitely always been clean.

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