Velominati Super Prestige: La Vuelta a España 2013

The Long Sock Brigade hits the Angliru

Seriously. Is it almost September? This was not the agreement, this was supposed to be an endless summer. And all you A-Holes down there in the Antipodes are seeing the light at the end of the tunnel, enjoying longer days and shorter nights. I don’t need to tell you where you can take that, but it’s dark and it smells. I have no patience for the changing of seasons when it means I’m going to be benching Number One and busting out the headlight.

I’m not going to lie to you; the Vuelta is my least-favorite race of the year. Part of it is the parcours-it’s hard enough to get excited about flat sprint stages in the Tour, but these stages in central Spain that go down a straight freeway for hours are just too much for my brain to find interesting. Hey look! There’s another shrub! Wasn’t he a President at one point? There will be some redeeming points of the race, I’m sure, and the shit-steep climbs they dot along the route are certain to be highlights of the season. But after you do the math, this is the grand tour with the weakest field, the worst route, and-most damning-the strongest signal that Summer is coming to an end on the half of the world that matters.

I can’t be bothered to sort out the route and what stages are going to matter, but I’ll tell you this: for the last few years, the winner of the Vuelta VSP has won the VSP GC. A few years back, @Marcus complained that he only lost the VSP because @Nate used the second Rest Day Swaps to his advantage to take the win, but after heavily increasing the penalties, he kept losing. Typical of a man who posts photos of his todger on a Cycling site. (@Nate, your win was clean according to the VCI.) Speaking of which, at worst the Vuelta will distract from Pat McQuaid and his bid for losing the UCI Presidency.

He has a strong lead in the 2013 Anti-V competition, however.

Check the start list, get your picks in, and don’t Delgado this baby; it could be your ticket to the shop apron. Bon chance.

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frank

The founder of Velominati and curator of The Rules, Frank was born in the Dutch colonies of Minnesota. His boundless physical talents are carefully canceled out by his equally boundless enthusiasm for drinking. Coffee, beer, wine, if it’s in a container, he will enjoy it, a lot of it. He currently lives in Seattle. He loves riding in the rain and scheduling visits with the Man with the Hammer just to be reminded of the privilege it is to feel completely depleted. He holds down a technology job the description of which no-one really understands and his interests outside of Cycling and drinking are Cycling and drinking. As devoted aesthete, the only thing more important to him than riding a bike well is looking good doing it. Frank is co-author along with the other Keepers of the Cog of the popular book, The Rules, The Way of the Cycling Disciple and also writes a monthly column for the magazine, Cyclist. He is also currently working on the first follow-up to The Rules, tentatively entitled The Hardmen. Email him directly at rouleur@velominati.com.

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View Comments

Marco says:

Aug 21 2013 at 2:58 am

VSP PICKS:

1. Nibali
2. J-Rod
3. Valverde
4. Henao
5. Mollema
taon24 says:

Aug 21 2013 at 4:05 am

VSP PICKS:

1. Nibali, V
2. Rodriguez, J
3. Valverde, A
4. Scarponi, M
5. Kreuzinger, R
chrismurphy92 says:

Aug 21 2013 at 4:47 am

VSP PICKS:

1. valverde, a
2. rodriguez, j
3. nibali, v
4. kreuzinger, r
5. martin, d
chrismurphy92 says:

Aug 21 2013 at 4:49 am

VSP PICKS:

1. valverde, a
2. rodriguez, j
3. kreuziger, r
4. henao, s
5. martin, d
Velocitractor says:

Aug 21 2013 at 5:05 am

VSP PICKS:

1. Valverde
2. J Rod
3. Henao
4. Sammy
5. Nibs
seemunkee says:

Aug 21 2013 at 5:34 am

VSP PICKS:

1. Uran Uran
2. Nibbles
3. J Rod
4. Kreuziger
5. Sammy Sanchez
Patrick says:

Aug 21 2013 at 5:50 am

What do I know anyway...just hope Valverde doesn't have another mechanical disaster.

VSP PICKS:

1. A. Valverde
2. J. Rodriguez
3. S. Henao
4. D. Martin
5. B. Intxausti
razmaspaz says:

Aug 21 2013 at 6:08 am

Ugh, I've had Daniel Navarro penciled in as a dark horse to win it, and he isn't even riding. What a load of crap.

VSP PICKS:

1. V Nibali
2. A Valverde
3. Sammy Sanchez
4. I Basso
5. D Martin
Deakus says:

Aug 21 2013 at 6:15 am

I am not going to be swayed by the lacklustre prep article on La Vuelta. To my mind last years race was the best Grand Tour of the 3 and Berties solo break on stage 17 will stay with me forever as a stunning cycling moment....shame the cameras missed it.

For me Jrod is forever tactically flawed, he just seems to fall asleep at critical times or does not seem to recognise critical moves. Valverde looked very strong in TdF so has to be my pick. I think Nibbles will hold back for the Worlds.

Torn between Crowded House (Hey Now) and Martini (Any time any place anywhere) The others are a gamble on who is fresh vs who is in form...in other words I have fucklies clue about who is in frame for points!

Cultural reference below for those too young or not cool enough to remember!

VSP PICKS:

1. Valverde
2. Kreuziger
3. JRod
4. Nibbles
5. Henao
Sabastian says:

Aug 21 2013 at 6:51 am

Hard to see Nibali cracking the top 5.

VSP PICKS:

1. J Rod
2. Henao
3. Sammy Sanchez
4. Valverde
5. Dan Martin