Velominati Super Prestige: La Vuelta a España 2013

The Long Sock Brigade hits the Angliru

Seriously. Is it almost September? This was not the agreement, this was supposed to be an endless summer. And all you A-Holes down there in the Antipodes are seeing the light at the end of the tunnel, enjoying longer days and shorter nights. I don’t need to tell you where you can take that, but it’s dark and it smells. I have no patience for the changing of seasons when it means I’m going to be benching Number One and busting out the headlight.

I’m not going to lie to you; the Vuelta is my least-favorite race of the year. Part of it is the parcours-it’s hard enough to get excited about flat sprint stages in the Tour, but these stages in central Spain that go down a straight freeway for hours are just too much for my brain to find interesting. Hey look! There’s another shrub! Wasn’t he a President at one point? There will be some redeeming points of the race, I’m sure, and the shit-steep climbs they dot along the route are certain to be highlights of the season. But after you do the math, this is the grand tour with the weakest field, the worst route, and-most damning-the strongest signal that Summer is coming to an end on the half of the world that matters.

I can’t be bothered to sort out the route and what stages are going to matter, but I’ll tell you this: for the last few years, the winner of the Vuelta VSP has won the VSP GC. A few years back, @Marcus complained that he only lost the VSP because @Nate used the second Rest Day Swaps to his advantage to take the win, but after heavily increasing the penalties, he kept losing. Typical of a man who posts photos of his todger on a Cycling site. (@Nate, your win was clean according to the VCI.) Speaking of which, at worst the Vuelta will distract from Pat McQuaid and his bid for losing the UCI Presidency.

He has a strong lead in the 2013 Anti-V competition, however.

Check the start list, get your picks in, and don’t Delgado this baby; it could be your ticket to the shop apron. Bon chance.

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frank

The founder of Velominati and curator of The Rules, Frank was born in the Dutch colonies of Minnesota. His boundless physical talents are carefully canceled out by his equally boundless enthusiasm for drinking. Coffee, beer, wine, if it’s in a container, he will enjoy it, a lot of it. He currently lives in Seattle. He loves riding in the rain and scheduling visits with the Man with the Hammer just to be reminded of the privilege it is to feel completely depleted. He holds down a technology job the description of which no-one really understands and his interests outside of Cycling and drinking are Cycling and drinking. As devoted aesthete, the only thing more important to him than riding a bike well is looking good doing it. Frank is co-author along with the other Keepers of the Cog of the popular book, The Rules, The Way of the Cycling Disciple and also writes a monthly column for the magazine, Cyclist. He is also currently working on the first follow-up to The Rules, tentatively entitled The Hardmen. Email him directly at rouleur@velominati.com.

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View Comments

Mike_P says:

Aug 21 2013 at 7:41 am

My picks have been rubbish all year, so why should this be any different...

VSP PICKS:

1. Purito
2. Nibbles
3. Valverde
4. Uran
5. Pozzovivo
efguerrero says:

Aug 21 2013 at 7:53 am

Unless Purito is completely wasted after the Tour, I think that he can pull off the Vuelta win this year.

VSP PICKS:

1. J Rodriguez
2. Valverde
3. Kreuziger
4. Uran
5. Betancur
Duende says:

Aug 21 2013 at 8:10 am

VSP PICKS:

1. Joaquim Rodriguez
2. Sergio Henao
3. Alejandro Valverde
4. Carlos Betancur
5. Roman Kreuziger
Collin says:

Aug 21 2013 at 8:14 am

I don't think anyone that did the Le Tour will win the Vuelta, that just doesn't seem to be the way things are going lately. With 11 summit finishes, this race should be great. The last few years have been something. Plus, the Spanish landscape reminds me most of the desert I call home.

VSP PICKS:

1. Uran
2. Nibbles
3. Valverde
4. Betancur
5. J Rod
Chris says:

Aug 21 2013 at 8:33 am

Valverde owes me for fucking up my TDF VSP by puncturing on that windy day that OPQS then Saxo smashed the peloton about.

VSP PICKS:

1. Henao
2. Valverde
3. J Rod
4. Nibbles
5. Betta not make me curse
Chris says:

Aug 21 2013 at 8:33 am

VSP PICKS:

1. Henao
2. Valverde
3. J Rod
4. Nibbles
5. Betancur
JCM says:

Aug 21 2013 at 8:37 am

VSP PICKS:

1. Henao, S
2. Rodriguez, J
3. Sanchez, S
4. Valverde, A
5. Horner, C
moondance says:

Aug 21 2013 at 8:47 am

VSP PICKS:

1. J. Rodriguez
2. S. Sanchez
3. Henao
4. Nibali
5. Horner
atomicmanatee says:

Aug 21 2013 at 9:51 am

Picks are based on nothing logical. Hoping for a combination of Spanish national pride and beginners luck to deliver the top 3 for me.

VSP PICKS:

1. Valverde
2. Sanchez
3. J Rod
4. Nibali
5. Henao
Ron says:

Aug 21 2013 at 9:54 am

Won't they be blowing past a bunch of half-built abandoned housing complexes? Damn, I recently read an article on the economic crisis in Spain. Fucking depressing, where did it all go so wrong? Typically I try to shut the world out, but hey, when the Crash Monkeys of Eus-Eus are axed because politicians and free-wheelin' (that's right, fuckers born with silver spoons and not taking their turn with a nose in the wind) capitalists fuck up the national economy, now that is when I sit up, take notice, and get pissed off. I'm gonna miss the orange brigade and their orange & green flags.

Yep, count me in the Cannot Believe it is late August camp. I blame you, 100th TdF. And you, always fun Giro. And you too, Classics season. Where did it all go?