Velominati Super Prestige: La Vuelta a España 2013

The Long Sock Brigade hits the Angliru

Seriously. Is it almost September? This was not the agreement, this was supposed to be an endless summer. And all you A-Holes down there in the Antipodes are seeing the light at the end of the tunnel, enjoying longer days and shorter nights. I don’t need to tell you where you can take that, but it’s dark and it smells. I have no patience for the changing of seasons when it means I’m going to be benching Number One and busting out the headlight.

I’m not going to lie to you; the Vuelta is my least-favorite race of the year. Part of it is the parcours-it’s hard enough to get excited about flat sprint stages in the Tour, but these stages in central Spain that go down a straight freeway for hours are just too much for my brain to find interesting. Hey look! There’s another shrub! Wasn’t he a President at one point? There will be some redeeming points of the race, I’m sure, and the shit-steep climbs they dot along the route are certain to be highlights of the season. But after you do the math, this is the grand tour with the weakest field, the worst route, and-most damning-the strongest signal that Summer is coming to an end on the half of the world that matters.

I can’t be bothered to sort out the route and what stages are going to matter, but I’ll tell you this: for the last few years, the winner of the Vuelta VSP has won the VSP GC. A few years back, @Marcus complained that he only lost the VSP because @Nate used the second Rest Day Swaps to his advantage to take the win, but after heavily increasing the penalties, he kept losing. Typical of a man who posts photos of his todger on a Cycling site. (@Nate, your win was clean according to the VCI.) Speaking of which, at worst the Vuelta will distract from Pat McQuaid and his bid for losing the UCI Presidency.

He has a strong lead in the 2013 Anti-V competition, however.

Check the start list, get your picks in, and don’t Delgado this baby; it could be your ticket to the shop apron. Bon chance.

[vsp_results id=”26944″/]

frank

The founder of Velominati and curator of The Rules, Frank was born in the Dutch colonies of Minnesota. His boundless physical talents are carefully canceled out by his equally boundless enthusiasm for drinking. Coffee, beer, wine, if it’s in a container, he will enjoy it, a lot of it. He currently lives in Seattle. He loves riding in the rain and scheduling visits with the Man with the Hammer just to be reminded of the privilege it is to feel completely depleted. He holds down a technology job the description of which no-one really understands and his interests outside of Cycling and drinking are Cycling and drinking. As devoted aesthete, the only thing more important to him than riding a bike well is looking good doing it. Frank is co-author along with the other Keepers of the Cog of the popular book, The Rules, The Way of the Cycling Disciple and also writes a monthly column for the magazine, Cyclist. He is also currently working on the first follow-up to The Rules, tentatively entitled The Hardmen. Email him directly at rouleur@velominati.com.

Next The Bro-Set Experience »

Previous « Anatomy of a Photo: Rules Pioneer

View Comments

Bianchi Denti says:

Aug 22 2013 at 3:07 pm

@napolinige

I was going to point out that all the 'Hey Now!' 'Crowded house' related nicknames for Henao are in flagrant violation of Rule #89, but I can't remember where I read the correct pronunciation except that it was in an interview with Quintana and he'd know. Perhaps someone else read the same article.

Sure did. It was on Cycling Inquisition. It's pronounced Eh-nah-Oh, not "Hey Now". Maybe Klaus reads Velominati?
http://www.cyclinginquisition.com/2013/04/who-is-nairo-quintana.html
V-inden says:

Aug 22 2013 at 3:45 pm

My head says Piti, but I can't stand the fucker and my heart wants to see Euskaltel-Euskadi go out in a blaze of glory. After his performance in Pologne I can't see Nibbles finding his form so quickly, but then again I felt certain that Porte would finish second at le Tour...

VSP PICKS:

1. Sanchez
2. Betancur
3. Henao
4. Rodrigez
5. Nibali
HMBSteve says:

Aug 22 2013 at 4:24 pm

What the hell do I know...............

VSP PICKS:

1. Nibali
2. Valverde
3. Henao
4. Basso
5. Kreuziger
anotherdownunder says:

Aug 22 2013 at 5:06 pm

VSP PICKS:

1. Nibali
2. Valverde
3. Uran
4. Henao
5. Dan Martin
eightzero says:

Aug 22 2013 at 5:54 pm

VSP PICKS:

1. Uran
2. Nibbles
3. Valv
4. Bassoe
5. Sanchez
mbarston says:

Aug 22 2013 at 6:04 pm

VSP PICKS:

1. valverde
2. nibali
3. rodriguez
4. horner
5. basso
Mikael Liddy says:

Aug 22 2013 at 6:47 pm

@Bianchi Denti

@napolinige

I was going to point out that all the 'Hey Now!' 'Crowded house' related nicknames for Henao are in flagrant violation of Rule #89, but I can't remember where I read the correct pronunciation except that it was in an interview with Quintana and he'd know. Perhaps someone else read the same article.

Sure did. It was on Cycling Inquisition. It's pronounced Eh-nah-Oh, not "Hey Now". Maybe Klaus reads Velominati?
http://www.cyclinginquisition.com/2013/04/who-is-nairo-quintana.html

When have the Velominati ever let the facts stand in the way of what sounds good?
Barracuda says:

Aug 22 2013 at 11:30 pm

@Mikael Liddy

@Barracuda

@Daccordi Rider

Here in the Antipodes it is still cold, 5c last night whilst I was doing my hill repeats, but yes the sun is with us a bit longer each days and that holds forth promise.

I haven't usually followed the Vuelta that closely but last years was probably the best tour of the year. Watching Bertie, J Rod and Valverde hammer each other was great racing. Looking forward to this years, it looks like an interesting parcours.

Agree, colder and wetter, the further south of Adelaide, you go, days starting to get a bit longer here @frank so soon no need for the Ay-Up's.

All in good time for our take on a Spring classic, the Dirty Dozen. Either of you keen for some Five & Dime action on election day?

VSP PICKS:

1. Dirty Sammy
2. Purito
3. His Nibs
4. Don't dream it's over
5. Dan Martin

Sadly non starter, two young kidlets and all, be slumming it at the Royal show .... refer "how not to spend a weekend" !!
piwakawaka says:

Aug 22 2013 at 11:41 pm

Fucken loved this last year, bring it.

VSP PICKS:

1. Nibali
2. Rodriguez
3. Henao
4. Betancur
5. Martin, Dan
AndyH says:

Aug 22 2013 at 11:43 pm

VSP PICKS:

1. Nibali
2. Rodriguez
3. Henao
4. Valverde
5. Uran