Velominati Super Prestige: Le Tour de France, Stage 18
More than two of the three weeks of this Tour lie in the rearview mirror and the race is impossible to call; nearly every GC Contender has shown some kind of weakness or given something away that makes them look beatable. Contador was dropped on the first uphill finish. The Schlecks have been on the attack but have been unable to make the gains they need to insure a final victory. They’ve also reminded us that what goes up doesn’t always come down as easily. Evans has been the most consistent and oportunistic, but has been racing hard since day one and, while he’s been close, he’s done little to stamp his authority on the race. Voekler has been defying the odds for nine days and continues to hang on to a lead which looks more tenable with each passing day.
So far, the “minor” mountain stages – those without uphill finishes – have proven to be as decisive as those with uphill finishes. Normally reserved for the opportunist breakaway and a non-issue for the GC riders, Stage 17’s rain-slicked descent saw some of the best racing we’ve seen this year buddied up with the biggest impact on the GC since Tommy V took the Maillot Jaune.
Indeed, this year has everyone sitting around the table, questioning the accepted tactics of the recent past. The riders who go fast uphill will need to do something more than just attack a few k’s from the finish. Perhaps they are considering an Hinaultesque attack on a descent before the finishing climb. Or perhaps a Merckxian attack on the first pass, going long to take a huge advantage.
One thing is for certain: the rider who wins this Tour will not necessarily be the strongest one, for we’ve seen they are all closely matched. No, the winner will be the one who decides the old rulebook is better suited for toilet paper than a race manual. The winner will be the one who thinks creatively, leaves caution in the parking lot where Voekler punched his ticket today, and takes an extra dose of Rule #5 (I’m looking at you, Andy).
At this point, whomever rolls into Paris with the Yellow jersey on their shoulders will get the nod of approval from this guy. (Except Contador, obvs.) Vive le Tour, bitches.
Get your picks in by 5am Pacific tomorrow morning for the chance to win 3, 2, or 1 points for the podium spots, and 1 point for 4th and 5th places. Good luck.
Looks like Spanish Steak is coming good this week, and he is going to need to stamp his authority on this stage if he wants to win Le Grand Boucle this year…
VSP PICKS:
1. El Steakelero
2. Cuddles
3. Grimplette
4. Basso
5. Cunego
VSP PICKS:
1. Contador
2. Cuddles
3. Angry Stomach
4. Schleck the elder
5. Basso
Tough one man. Am I the only one out there that wants to see frank ditch his bro and go for it? Andy is just sounding brittle and hard to love. Sanchez has got some sort of chops to get back where he is now and I think he’ll go hard. Too many steep ramps on the agnel and galibier will put the hurt on cuddles and let basso be profundo. Check c-odor if Frank puts less than 20s into him.
VSP PICKS:
1. schleck sr
2. contador
3. schleck jr
4. sanchez
5. basso
VSP PICKS:
1. Clenbutador
2. Cuddles
3. Sammy Saycheez
4. Schleck the younger
5. Ivan Bassomatic
VSP PICKS:
1. Evans
2. Contador
3. A. Schleck
4. Basso
5. Uran
Contador to pick up a much needed 1:30 on Cuddles, who cracks just a little (see: Zoncolan @ 2010 Giro). I actually expect the Schlecks to go on the offensive (and both will probably finish in the top three), but Contador really needs to put time into Evans””he’s the only continuing threat at this point in the TT: two minutes in Grenoble is a big ask. Will need to whittle that down tomorrow and Friday.
VSP PICKS:
1. Contador
2. Sanchez (the S one)
3. Basso
4. Peraud
5. Cuddles
There’s still going to be some cat-and-mousing on the Queen Stage. Thus, Vanendert FTW. Sanchez sneaks away and Frank gets 10 seconds on Contadork.
VSP PICKS:
1. Vanendert
2. Sanchez
3. F. Schleck
4. Contador
5. Evans
The shit is going down tomorrow.
VSP PICKS:
1. Conti
2. Basso
3. Andy
4. Sanchez
5. Cunego
It’s going to be AWESOME!!! Cuntador and Sammy take off together and Cuntador gifts the stage to Sammy. The rest struggle in. Voeckler cracks and concedes 5 minutes to the overall GC favs.
VSP PICKS:
1. Slammy Sammy Sanchez
2. Cuntador
3. Schleck the Elder
4. Cuddles
5. Basso
Cadel will dig deep to limit his losses by hanging onto Sanchez after Contador drops him. Basso will have a late surge. Cadel will lose the Tour in the final TT by less than 10s. Its tragedy at its most excruciating, but that’s how he rolls.
VSP PICKS:
1. Contador
2. Evans
3. Basso
4. S Sanchez
5. Frank
Tom D goes in a break and they let him have a bit of leash, and he makes it to the line but with almost no time to show for his efforts.
VSP PICKS:
1. Tom Danielson
2. Sammy Sanchez
3. Cadel Evans
4. Tommy V
5. Frank Schleck
I think *hope* that Andy will stop fanning about and actually make a move on the rest of the favourites. I definitely think he had what it takes but he’s going to have to lay down to V like a bad ass motherfucker in the TT.
Cadel is looking strong and I think he really wants it but I’m not sure about how much support BMC are able to give when the going get tough.
Frank, well I don’t really he’s going to have the legs on the next alpine stages to go balls out and will ride in support of his bro.
Contador just doesn’t have tge edge he had in the Giro. He’s had a but of a mare so far with crashing and his knee. I think he’ll just edge Sammy at the line.
Sammy has had a sterling tour so far. He’s been in a lot of breaks and really going for it but because if it I think he’s going to start to fade in the coming days.
VSP PICKS:
1. Andy
2. Cadel
3. Frank
4. Contador
5. Sammy Sanchez
Pretty much what Buck said (great minds). Ivan has laid low the last couple but the Galibier suits him. Shits gonna be on fire!
VSP PICKS:
1. Dirty S.
2. Dirty Bertie
3. Basstardo
4. Go Cadel!
5. Frank Schlucks
VSP PICKS:
1. Jr.
That’s my dream.
VSP PICKS:
1. Basso
2. Evans
3. A. Schleck
4. F. Schleck
5. Contador
VSP PICKS:
1. Jr.
2. Sr.
3. AC, PS, Cruise, Sunroof
4. G.C.
5. Frank Strack
I think the Spaniards will turn the tables and start double teaming the anemic duo. Basso with more help from Szmyd will hang tough. Frandy will continue their puppet show, with Cuddles their only audience.
VSP PICKS:
1. Sammy Sanchez
2. Clentador
3. Basso
4. Cuddles
5. Andy Schleck
VSP PICKS:
1. Conti
2. Basso
3. Andy
4. Sanchez
5. Evsans
@Rose City Rolleur
Love it! And maybe, just maybe, possible as well.
Man, I cannot WAIT until tomorrow!!!
VSP PICKS:
1. Slammy Sammy Sanchez
2. Cuntador
3. Schleck the Elder
4. Cuddles
5. Basso
@Marko
Totally dead-on about Basso on the Galibier. Nobody can crank out tempo and spit bodies out the back like that guy on a long steady climb.
Cadel learned about that at the 2010 Giro.
@Mikeweb
Absolutely love it!
VSP PICKS:
1. Slammy Sammy Sanchez
2. Cuntador
3. Schleck the Elder
4. Cuddles
5. Basso
THe Schleks need a challenge to stand up and show how good they can be. If I’m right I’m the man, if I’m wrong Im in the same boat as everyone else.
VSP PICKS:
1. Frank Schleck
2. Andy Schleck
3. Daylight
Sanchez and Contador helping each other out up the whole stinking mountain, but Schlecklette attacks late w/some “I’d better do something to win this dang race”-V, so the Spanish Maverick must leave his Goose, afterburners flaming wildly with under 1k to go, which the ever-watchful and tenacious Evans follows in his Bad-A position, head as sideways as it’ll go, and Schleck gets pipped right at the line by the now-moving-faster AC and Evans.
Then that song will kick in…[80s guitar] neeer ne ne neeeeer ne ne ne nah neer neeeer…
VSP PICKS:
1. A. Contador
2. A. Schleck
3. C. Evans
4. S. Sanchez
5. I. Basso
VSP PICKS:
1. Conti
2. Basso
3. Andy
4. Sanchez
5. Cunego
Oops, had my 2 and 3 flipped by accident. Evans definitely on Conti’s wheel.
VSP PICKS:
1. A. Contador
2. C. Evans
3. A. Schleck
4. S. Sanchez
5. I. Basso
@Frank “The Schlecks have been on the attack”…
What? Shit, I missed that! I saw them get five pedal strokes ahead then look around and stop… is that what you meant?
VSP PICKS:
1. JEROME F’IN COPPEL
2. Grimpy the Elder
3. Canhego?
4. Bert
5. Cadel
Strike that – I say Jelle Roll in a break to tie up the KoM competition, eventually winning as they all dick around.
VSP PICKS:
1. Jelle Roll
2. Grimpy the Elder
3. Bert
4. Cadelephant
5. JEROME F’IN COPPEL
Ok, so COTHOdor will take back 40 seconds, Cuddles will just about blow himself to bits hanging on to whatever he can, Basso will be glued to his wheel and help as much as possible, and The Useless Bros will stop for a picnic in the daffodils…
I really hope that Tommy 5 can keep gutsing it out too, but it’s looking like this might be his swansong…
VSP PICKS:
1. Odor
2. Elephant Balls
3. Dog
4. Mermaid
5. Tits
VSP PICKS:
1. Jelly Roll Morton
2. Clenched Butt Odor
3. Swivelhead Snr
4. Bumchin
5. Swivelhead Jnr
just a bit of a hunch…..not really expecting anything
VSP PICKS:
1. Sammy Sanchez
2. Cuddles
3. Contador
4. Jelle Vanendert
5. A Schleck
The Spaniards help each other out, Cuddles holds on to lose less than 30 sec, Andy loses time.
And little Tommy finally runs out of V (too bad, that, but it had to happen)
I’ll be late for work tomorrow.
VSP PICKS:
1. Cothodor
2. Sanchez
3. Cadel
4. F Schleck
5. Andy
These picks are purely based on wishful thinking. Hopefully Andy-boy is aware that he is the butt of a lot of criticism and will do something about it. He’ll either finish neck-and-neck with Meat-muncher or take time. He knows he’s gotta get some time in the next two days or get wasted in the TT. Andy, your teammates have done all they can for you; time to reward them for their efforts.
VSP PICKS:
1. Andy Schleck
2. Contador
3. Cadel Evans
4. Ivan Basso
5. Sammy Sanchez
@brett
It’s not much, but it’s more than anyone else did! And I wish Evans had a kick rather than being such a diesel…he just motors up to them every time and drags everyone else with ‘im. If he could jump at all, we’d see a different standing right now.
But fuck. I wish Andy would just keep up with his attacks rather than swivelnecking. Or, maybe he should get one of those mirrors you can put on your handlebar. Fuck. I’d forgive him the violation if it meant he was actually racing his bike.
swivelnecking, a new lexicon entry? The act of looking back for your teammates or opponents instead of racing your bike.
Sammy and Bertie do the one two, Evans motors on up and passes them, Andy is too busy looking around and misses the move and Basso grinds his way up – and I hope Danielson has a good day!
VSP PICKS:
1. Evans
2. Contador
3. Sanchez
4. Andy Schleck
5. Basso
If Leopard Trek have anything about them, they’ll let Fränk go, and he’ll do over Bertie on the final climb. His brother will attack on the final km again, but just enough to get to third…maybe. Cuddles has gotta be in the top 5, and I rate Cunego more than Basso, somehow.
I’m getting pretty sick of Andy now, to be honest. Sure, he’s hanging in there, but doesn’t seem to be actually sorting his shit and channeling some serious V – which is what he needs to do if he’s gonna win this thing. Knowing this, he’ll spend all night meditating on Rule #5, and dish out the pain on the Galibier tomorrow after all, completely betraying my picking him for the last god knows how long…
VSP PICKS:
1. Le Grand Grimpleur
2. Clenbutador
3. Grimplette
4. Cuddles
5. Cunego
That’s right – the form line from this Tour holds through the Queen stage. Evans wins with final burst after duelling banjos all the way up.
And the rest of you can go fuck yourselves.
VSP PICKS:
1. Evans
2. Contador
3. Sanchez
4. F Schleck
5. Basso
Velominati TDF Data Addicts Beware!
For one thing,
It seems you can now experiment
with voyeurism et virtual suffering at home…
LIVE DATA STREAM FROM SRM
You can now find LIVE on the interwebs
the data recorded by the crankset embedded SRMs
As far as i know, at least for these riders :
Roy, Jeremy [138] FDJ
Oss, Daniel [95] Liquigas
Vandborg, Brian [9] Saxo Bank
Knees, Christian [115] Sky
El Fares, Julien [155] Cofidis
Zingle, Romain [159] Cofidis
Buffaz, Mickael [152] Cofidis
Zeits, Andrey [69] Astana
Vaitkus, Thomas [68] Astana
Irizar, Markel [73] RadioShack
For another thing
It also seems that you can watch all the roads used by the TDF in a dedicated app for Google Earth
where you can see for example that the next Grenoble TT is not so flat…
browse the page to choose your TDF stage and click the image to open the Google Earth File
And finally …
The end of the TDf is near when this stage will arrive … we’ll see!
In this official event advert, it seems like Grenoble was a little bit Partisan on this one…
Is there a project for my home-town of a future twinning with Luxembourg ???
IF some roads remained open and ridable with the Horde of hundreds of thousands of people expected in my neighborhood saturday ..I’ll try to shoot some photos of the TT racers on the climbing parts of the event … If it’s not the case i’ll stay here in Grenoble and do the same as for the Dauphiné : Bikes, Gear, Apparel Riders, Staff, Buses, Mechanics, Podiums, etc …
Do any Velominati want some specific photos ?
Name your racers and rides !! I’ll try to do my best!
Viva la France! France needs a win, Roy has the form, and I need to pick someone that no one else has to get some points.
3-5 will be 5 mins down on the leaders. Very tempted to pick Cuntodor, but sticking to principles.
@minion – nice picks. You have a lot of faith!
VSP PICKS:
1. Jeremy monkey funkin’ Roy
2. Jelle DirtyVan
3. Cadel
4. Basso
5. Slammin’ Sam Sanchez
@Alpin – you live in Grenoble? You lucky bastard! I’ve been fortunate enough to visit there twice, and the beauty of the place just blew me away! But it’s a long way from NZ, so I don’t get there very often.
VSP PICKS:
1. Jeremy monkey funkin’ Roy
2. Jelle DirtyVan
3. Cadel
4. Basso
5. Slammin’ Sam Sanchez
@redranger
Scleckernecking perhaps, to give it context?
VSP PICKS:
1. Frank Schleck
2. Andy Schleck
3. Daylight
@Alpin
You’re awesome. Cheers!
VSP PICKS:
1. Frank Schleck
2. Andy Schleck
3. Daylight
VSP PICKS:
1. Dirty Bertie
2. Sammy Slappy
3. Lil Schleck
4. Basso
5. Cunego
@Bianchi Denti
Yeah! ‘loves the town !
well mostly the outings out of the town !,
Never moved, never will…
Check the velominati Dauphiné article you should find through the comments a very large gallery of photos done in Grenoble for the last Dauphiné TT , being the same as the TDF one
Slight variation on my original picks but apart from Clenched Butt showing some improved form of late, Good Cadel is still the man.
Team SwiVelshleck or more accurately,those pair of side show/laughing clown impersonators are too busy looking at each other, reminiscing about their, ahem, “sword” fights in the showers to really be able to focus on the race itself.
@Marcus
@minion
+1. When you post, you post, chapeau Alpin.
Bert is looking tres dangereuse…
VSP PICKS:
1. Contador
2. Sammy Sanchez
3. Evans
4. A Shleck, any Shleck
5. Basso
VSP PICKS:
1. Jelle van endert
And for the velomanti, ainé means the older one in french ( frank) and cadet mean the younger one (andy)
VSP PICKS:
1. Jelle vanendert
2. Dirty sanchez
3. Frère shleck ainé
4. Cuddles
5. Frère schleck cadet