Velominati Super Prestige

Velominati Super Prestige: Le Tour de France, Stage 18

Bartali and Coppi ride high on the barren slopes of the Galibier

More than two of the three weeks of this Tour lie in the rearview mirror and the race is impossible to call; nearly every GC Contender has shown some kind of weakness or given something away that makes them look beatable. Contador was dropped on the first uphill finish. The Schlecks have been on the attack but have been unable to make the gains they need to insure a final victory. They’ve also reminded us that what goes up doesn’t always come down as easily. Evans has been the most consistent and oportunistic, but has been racing hard since day one and, while he’s been close, he’s done little to stamp his authority on the race. Voekler has been defying the odds for nine days and continues to hang on to a lead which looks more tenable with each passing day.

So far, the “minor” mountain stages – those without uphill finishes – have proven to be as decisive as those with uphill finishes.  Normally reserved for the opportunist breakaway and a non-issue for the GC riders, Stage 17’s rain-slicked descent saw some of the best racing we’ve seen this year buddied up with the biggest impact on the GC since Tommy V took the Maillot Jaune.

Indeed, this year has everyone sitting around the table, questioning the accepted tactics of the recent past. The riders who go fast uphill will need to do something more than just attack a few k’s from the finish. Perhaps they are considering an Hinaultesque attack on a descent before the finishing climb. Or perhaps a Merckxian attack on the first pass, going long to take a huge advantage.

One thing is for certain: the rider who wins this Tour will not necessarily be the strongest one, for we’ve seen they are all closely matched. No, the winner will be the one who decides the old rulebook is better suited for toilet paper than a race manual. The winner will be the one who thinks creatively, leaves caution in the parking lot where Voekler punched his ticket today, and takes an extra dose of Rule #5 (I’m looking at you, Andy).

At this point, whomever rolls into Paris with the Yellow jersey on their shoulders will get the nod of approval from this guy. (Except Contador, obvs.) Vive le Tour, bitches.

Get your picks in by 5am Pacific tomorrow morning for the chance to win 3, 2, or 1 points for the podium spots, and 1 point for 4th and 5th places.  Good luck.

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304 Replies to “Velominati Super Prestige: Le Tour de France, Stage 18”

  1. I’m an Aussie & I’m with Marcus. Although I probably wouldn’t have used the “F” word. Funny though Marcus. Go Cadel! Bring it home cobber!

    VSP PICKS:

    1. Cadel
    2. Dopador
    3. Stinky Sanchez
    4. Schleck sister 1
    5. Schleck sister 2

  2. VSP PICKS:

    1. Contador
    2. Cadel
    3. A Shleck
    4. Jelle Vanendert
    5. Basso

  4. I have a suggestion to make the next two days better. Both Schlecks wear blinkers (carbon-fiber and UCI approved, of course). That way they can’t see what the fuck is going on beside or behind them. Some ear plugs might help too.

  5. Never thought I’d do this, but I have lost faith in Little Swivel. He just hasn’t seemed right all year. So out he goes and in comes Profundo.

    VSP PICKS:

    1. Jelly Roll Morton
    2. Clenched Butt Odor
    3. Swivelhead Snr
    4. Bumchin
    5. Ace of Bass(o)

  7. @wiscot
    And perhaps the team car could carry some ping-pong balls to pop into their mouths if the swivelling continues. Isn’t that how prizes are won at the fair?

  8. Say what you like about the Giro being the real cycling fan’s GT… when you put this many top contenders together, there’s gonna be fireworks! Bring on Galibier!

    VSP PICKS:

    1. Contador
    2. Basso
    3. Sanchez
    4. Frank
    5. Cuddles

  9. Alpin many thanks for the feeling of “being” there! If you run into Sean Kelly, just for old times sake.

    I am going with the b team for my picks tomorrow … and the Chin.

    VSP PICKS:

    1. S. Casar
    2. K. DeWeert
    3. T. Danielson
    4. R. Uran
    5. C. Evans

  10. VSP PICKS:

    1. Clenberto
    2. Dirty
    3. Bumchin
    4. Fronk
    5. Didn’t actually dope

  11. I want to see some effort by the bros. In it to win it??

    VSP PICKS:

    1. Cadel
    2. Frank
    3. Andy
    4. Sammy Sanchez
    5. Cunego

  13. @Buck Rogers

    I like the way you think and, for the most part, agree with your prognostication. But…I just can’t see Andy giving it up for Frank. Or should I say Frank taking it from Andy, which is quite a different thing, you dig? And to paraphrase Andy Schleck, no matter how much help Contador gets from Sanchez (and he will get help), he’s (Contador) just “too much of an asshole” to give the stage away. Contador needs to send a message to the GC favorites, something along the lines of “Besame churro, putas” or something more profane. Gaining three plus minutes AND winning the stage sends that message.

    And agreed, there will be awesomeness.

    VSP PICKS:

    1. Alberto Contador
    2. Samuel Sanchez
    3. Cadel Evans
    4. Ivan Basso
    5. Andy Schleck

  14. @G’phant
    Being behind Andy at the top of the last climb (and thus being stuck for a time behind him on the descent) was a mistake that Cadel didn’t need to make. His first for the Tour and lucky it didnt cost him…

  16. For all you non-Australians, just to let you know, Cadelysteria is taking hold across the nation. Big picture of him taking up half the front page of one of our main newspapers in Melbourne. Everyone I speak to is talking about him, asking about his chances, etc etc.

    Hope that this is not the kiss of death.

  18. Levi pulled a Lance and lost a bunch of time on purpose so the big guns will let him get away. He is the lone survivor in the break. The Schlecks swivel so hard their heads do an exorcist spin. Subsequently, they lose two minutes trying to reorient themselves again.

    VSP PICKS:

    1. Levi
    2. Contador
    3. Sammy San
    4. Cuddles
    5. Bass Ho

  19. This is going to be the stage! Tommy V will valiantly hold on but just lose touch in the final few kms. Clenbutador will attack and look to gain half a minute with Sanchez bridging and taking the victory. Cadelephant will gain the yellow jersey and from here hold it all the way to paris. Basso will be there but not enough to get himself on the podium.

    The Schlecks will both be hospitalised for extreme wry necks due to them constantly looking over their shoulders to see where each other is and for acting like extreme Schlecktards – does anyone respect these two now?

    VSP PICKS:

    1. sammy sanchez
    2. clenbutador
    3. cadelephant
    4. basso
    5. grimpeur the elder

  20. Voeckler will hang over le Col d’Agnel and l’Izoard (in tribute to Bobet””what Frenchman in yellow wouldn’t?). Then he’ll attack on the descent (probably with Contador & Sanchez). But then crack on le Galibier. There will be some glorious gesturing and hand-waving as he loses the two Spaniards, and lots of head-bobbing and -hanging as the other contenders pass him on the way up. But I’ll say it again: Gilbert, Hushovd, and Voeckler. Is there a better trio to have carried le maillot jaune this far? Whatever the outcome from here on out, I’m already happy.

  21. @Collin
    Nice thought, but I think Levi lost a bunch of time because he just doesn’t have it anymore. Lots of crashes and no team. He’ll try his darnedest to be in the break, but he’s running on empty.

  22. I’m gonna change my picks, and piggy back on @Buck Roger’s view that Sanchez is the only one who can live with the pace of Spanish Beef (or they get their dinner from the same farm), and they’ll work together to gap everyone else in exchange for Sammy getting the win. Cuddles can’t hang with them but is best of the rest, Grimplette can’t hang and Grimpelder is forced to hang with Basso to have a chance. Sadly, Voeckler’s last day in the maillot jaune. :(

    VSP PICKS:

    1. Sammy Sanchez
    2. El Steakelero
    3. Cuddles
    4. Basso
    5. Grimpelder

  23. Team Dirty-Bertie will stay away from the rest of the GC-7 this time, with Bertie gifting Dirty the stage win, Cadel will man-up as he has throughout but despite antipodean Cadelirium, will lack the final punch, and les freres Schleck will finish en retard, wishing they had spent more time in band practice.

    But I hope Cadel wins.

    VSP PICKS:

    1. Sanchez
    2. Contador
    3. Cadel
    4. Noel Schleck, older
    5. Liam Schleck, younger

  24. @G’phant
    (Video of a whiner)
    Make it stop.

    Guy’s obviously lost his mind… “I’m happy to be healthy and back in the bus” when he’s clearly standing outside the bus.

  26. I think Bertie will go all out to peg back some tim.
    Think Cuddles will cover him like a blanket till the last K, then beat Dirty Sanchez acroos the line in a sprint.
    Le Frere Grimpeur the Older will come in 30 seconds later with Basso hot on his heels.
    Poor Angry Stomach will be too busy looking backward and will end up at the stage Depart.

  27. VSP PICKS:

    1. S Sanchez
    2. Contador
    3. Evans
    4. A Schleck
    5. F Schleck

  29. Alpin is a bastard for living in such a nice place. But hey, he makes up for it with his photos:)

    And I must say that anyone living in NZed has no reason to be jealous or complain about natural beauty. I’d pack up and move to the South Island tomorrow.

    LOVED Tommy V’s bunny hop today. Jeez, the race just keeps getting better each stage.

    VSP PICKS:

    1. Bobbing Bertie
    2. Sammy “Golden Boy” Sanchez
    3. Cadel “The Chin” Evans
    4. A. Schleck
    5. Basso

  30. This Tour has soured me on the Schlecks. They must find it hard to race with their tails between their legs.

    VSP PICKS:

    1. Contador
    2. Sammy Sanchez
    3. Evans
    4. A. Schleck
    5. Basso

  31. Fuck it, time for some patriotism.

    The power of the chin matches everything the Spanish Beef Industry can throw at him & rolls over Cothodor, absorbing the cheating Iberian in to the cleft, in the finishing straight. Cuddles’ wheel crosses the line just ahead of the flailing Spanish limbs & gets him the win.

    Basso grinds up behind them while Sammy just can’t keep pace having used up his steak supplies in the last few days, whilst Schleck the Elder valiantly rounds out the 5 despite being consumed with grief having seen Andy’s head screw straight off his neck when he took one look too many!

    VSP PICKS:

    1. Cuddles
    2. Contho-dor
    3. Count Basso
    4. Dirty Sanchez
    5. Nearly Namesake Frank

  32. VSP PICKS:

    1. Alec Baldwin
    2. Matt Damon
    3. Matt Damon
    4. Janeane Garofalo
    5. Matt Damon

  35. I don’t have time to think about it – I’m going to the beach :-) so I’ll just go with wishful thinking

    VSP PICKS:

    1. Evans
    2. Daylight
    3. Contador
    4. Sanchez
    5. Vanendert

  38. The Basque boys will send someone up the road and it won’t be Dirty as he will be marked. Martinez will go away for the win and the GC’s will battle it out for the minors with Jelly Belly fighting for max points in the KOM to retain the dotty jumper.

    VSP PICKS:

    1. Ergo Martinez
    2. Jelly PlaysintheDirt
    3. Dirty Sanchez
    4. Clenbutador
    5. Evans

  42. @Marcus
    @frank admitted that he is wrong all the time so for him to not have Cuddles is actually like putting the reverse kiss of death on him and Cuddles will get up, so in fact in a round about way @frank is actually supporting Cuddles and complimenting us as Aussies.

  43. @Marcus

    @frank I take your omission of Cadel as a personal insult.

    “I’m wrong every time, I may as well be wrong with style”

    Give he has not picked him then that should work wonders for Cadel.

    The media down here have certainly discovered the TDF all of a sudden.

  47. Maybe it’s the influence of Rupert the Bear and James the Paper Boy showing their sensitive side to the foam-throwing mob, but I feel sorry for Little Swivel. He’s really not delivering to his or anyone else’s expectations, and he’s clearly feeling it. As would anyone in that situation. And he’s, what, 24? I’m pretty sure I reacted poorly and said stoopid things more than occasionally when I was 24. If we can forgive Tyler for some uncharacteristically shoddy innuendo about Cav’s recovery, I think we can forgive Shandy for lashing out at the audacity of ASO for including some roads which don’t point up.

    So, on reflection, the quality of my mercy is not (yet) strained.

    I’m not changing my picks, but.

  49. @Marcus

    @frank
    I take your omission of Cadel as a personal insult.

    Frank does have a point. Ol bumchin and style aren’t really synonymous.

    VSP PICKS:

    1. Frank Schleck
    2. Andy Schleck
    3. Daylight

  50. @G’phant
    Speaking of Rupe I reckon Greenedge could do worse than recruit Wendy Murdoch as a domestique. She knows how to protect a leader.

    VSP PICKS:

    1. Evans
    2. Contador
    3. Sanchez
    4. F Schleck
    5. Basso

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