Velominati Super Prestige: Le Tour de France, Stage 18

Bartali and Coppi ride high on the barren slopes of the Galibier

More than two of the three weeks of this Tour lie in the rearview mirror and the race is impossible to call; nearly every GC Contender has shown some kind of weakness or given something away that makes them look beatable. Contador was dropped on the first uphill finish. The Schlecks have been on the attack but have been unable to make the gains they need to insure a final victory. They’ve also reminded us that what goes up doesn’t always come down as easily. Evans has been the most consistent and oportunistic, but has been racing hard since day one and, while he’s been close, he’s done little to stamp his authority on the race. Voekler has been defying the odds for nine days and continues to hang on to a lead which looks more tenable with each passing day.

So far, the “minor” mountain stages – those without uphill finishes – have proven to be as decisive as those with uphill finishes.  Normally reserved for the opportunist breakaway and a non-issue for the GC riders, Stage 17’s rain-slicked descent saw some of the best racing we’ve seen this year buddied up with the biggest impact on the GC since Tommy V took the Maillot Jaune.

Indeed, this year has everyone sitting around the table, questioning the accepted tactics of the recent past. The riders who go fast uphill will need to do something more than just attack a few k’s from the finish. Perhaps they are considering an Hinaultesque attack on a descent before the finishing climb. Or perhaps a Merckxian attack on the first pass, going long to take a huge advantage.

One thing is for certain: the rider who wins this Tour will not necessarily be the strongest one, for we’ve seen they are all closely matched. No, the winner will be the one who decides the old rulebook is better suited for toilet paper than a race manual. The winner will be the one who thinks creatively, leaves caution in the parking lot where Voekler punched his ticket today, and takes an extra dose of Rule #5 (I’m looking at you, Andy).

At this point, whomever rolls into Paris with the Yellow jersey on their shoulders will get the nod of approval from this guy. (Except Contador, obvs.) Vive le Tour, bitches.

Get your picks in by 5am Pacific tomorrow morning for the chance to win 3, 2, or 1 points for the podium spots, and 1 point for 4th and 5th places.  Good luck.

frank

The founder of Velominati and curator of The Rules, Frank was born in the Dutch colonies of Minnesota. His boundless physical talents are carefully canceled out by his equally boundless enthusiasm for drinking. Coffee, beer, wine, if it’s in a container, he will enjoy it, a lot of it. He currently lives in Seattle. He loves riding in the rain and scheduling visits with the Man with the Hammer just to be reminded of the privilege it is to feel completely depleted. He holds down a technology job the description of which no-one really understands and his interests outside of Cycling and drinking are Cycling and drinking. As devoted aesthete, the only thing more important to him than riding a bike well is looking good doing it. Frank is co-author along with the other Keepers of the Cog of the popular book, The Rules, The Way of the Cycling Disciple and also writes a monthly column for the magazine, Cyclist. He is also currently working on the first follow-up to The Rules, tentatively entitled The Hardmen. Email him directly at rouleur@velominati.com.

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  • Fuck it, time for some patriotism.

    The power of the chin matches everything the Spanish Beef Industry can throw at him & rolls over Cothodor, absorbing the cheating Iberian in to the cleft, in the finishing straight. Cuddles' wheel crosses the line just ahead of the flailing Spanish limbs & gets him the win.

    Basso grinds up behind them while Sammy just can't keep pace having used up his steak supplies in the last few days, whilst Schleck the Elder valiantly rounds out the 5 despite being consumed with grief having seen Andy's head screw straight off his neck when he took one look too many!

    VSP PICKS:

    1. Cuddles
    2. Contho-dor
    3. Count Basso
    4. Dirty Sanchez
    5. Nearly Namesake Frank

  • VSP PICKS:

    1. Alec Baldwin
    2. Matt Damon
    3. Matt Damon
    4. Janeane Garofalo
    5. Matt Damon

  • On second thought...

    VSP PICKS:

    1. Simple Jack
    2. Andy
    3. Basso
    4. Cuddles
    5. Sanchez

  • I don't have time to think about it - I'm going to the beach :-) so I'll just go with wishful thinking

    VSP PICKS:

    1. Evans
    2. Daylight
    3. Contador
    4. Sanchez
    5. Vanendert

  • I'm wrong every time, I may as well be wrong with style.

    VSP PICKS:

    1. Grimpelder
    2. Basso
    3. Gimplette
    4. Voekler
    5. Sanchez

  • The Basque boys will send someone up the road and it won't be Dirty as he will be marked. Martinez will go away for the win and the GC's will battle it out for the minors with Jelly Belly fighting for max points in the KOM to retain the dotty jumper.

    VSP PICKS:

    1. Ergo Martinez
    2. Jelly PlaysintheDirt
    3. Dirty Sanchez
    4. Clenbutador
    5. Evans

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