Velominati Super Prestige: Men’s Olympic Road Race 2012

Grewal, legally doped to the gills, takes the win ahead of Canadian Steve Bauer.

You can all wave “goodbye” to your Post GT Depression Syndrome, because the Men’s Olympic Road Race is only three days yonder. I don’t typically give two shits about this particular event; while contested by national teams, unlike the Worlds it appears as just another one-day race on a calendar filled with events that carry much more historical and nostalgic significance. What’s worse, it seems the brilliance has faded from the flame of Olympic Spirit – after all, what is an international sports rivalry without the associated political Boggie Dance of Political Superiority? Merckx, I miss the Cold War.

But this time is different. Contested in London over a route that may or may not favor the squat little speed demon Mark Cavendish, the Cycling world has been abuzz about whether his presence on Team Sky alongside Pippi Longstockings implies his impending doom or his certain success – because everyone knows those are the only two possibilities. Be that as it may, the route boasts to be lumpy enough for breakaways or small field sprints, which makes this particular Velominatus, for once, really excited to see what happens. Oh, and as a special request to the riders, if we could keep everyone off the juice this time round, that would be peaches and creame.

With that, check the start list and pretend like that is going to help you make your predictions. Then look at the route and do the same before making a wild guess and hoping you come up good. One-Day VSP rules apply; get your picks in by the time the countdown timer goes to zero and pray for daylight.

Good luck.

frank

The founder of Velominati and curator of The Rules, Frank was born in the Dutch colonies of Minnesota. His boundless physical talents are carefully canceled out by his equally boundless enthusiasm for drinking. Coffee, beer, wine, if it’s in a container, he will enjoy it, a lot of it. He currently lives in Seattle. He loves riding in the rain and scheduling visits with the Man with the Hammer just to be reminded of the privilege it is to feel completely depleted. He holds down a technology job the description of which no-one really understands and his interests outside of Cycling and drinking are Cycling and drinking. As devoted aesthete, the only thing more important to him than riding a bike well is looking good doing it. Frank is co-author along with the other Keepers of the Cog of the popular book, The Rules, The Way of the Cycling Disciple and also writes a monthly column for the magazine, Cyclist. He is also currently working on the first follow-up to The Rules, tentatively entitled The Hardmen. Email him directly at rouleur@velominati.com.

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View Comments

Velo Kitty says:

Jul 26 2012 at 5:55 pm

VSP PICKS:

1. Cav
2. Greipel
3. Sagan
4. Hagan
5. Goss
Marcus says:

Jul 26 2012 at 5:57 pm

Here is a useful little table (taken from this site) of the times for the London cycling events. The times in the right column are the Australian times - going to take some dedication to watch them live...
Steampunk says:

Jul 26 2012 at 6:03 pm

@Marcus

Thanks for this. Would you mind adding another column, though? To show the times for the North American eastern time zone? I'd be grateful.
Marcus says:

Jul 26 2012 at 6:22 pm

@Steampunk deduct 14 hours from the Australian Eastern time. You guys get good times for the evening events - ie all the swimming, athletics and track cycling finals. Just sit at your desk, act like you are working and watch it on internet. All the big events will take place during your workday...
Mikael Liddy says:

Jul 26 2012 at 7:04 pm

@frank

@Ron

Speaking of doping... http://www.velonation.com/News/ID/12503/Anthony-handed-two-year-ban-after-EPO-positive-at-Gran-Fondo-New-York.aspx

Wow...cheating to win a Gran Fondo at nearly fifty years old? I don't know if I should laugh or cry. It's funny he'd waste money on dope to win that. It's sad he's been alive so long and thinks it's a good idea to cheat to win something most people couldn't give a fuck about. Jeez.

...and which isn't even technically classified as a race. Its like doping to win Friday's group ride.

This one apparently was a licensed event (hence the drug testing) because the total prize pool was over $100k according to some quotes from the organisers.
Mikael Liddy says:

Jul 26 2012 at 7:06 pm

@Marcus

@Steampunk deduct 14 hours from the Australian Eastern time. You guys get good times for the evening events - ie all the swimming, athletics and track cycling finals. Just sit at your desk, act like you are working and watch it on internet. All the big events will take place during your workday...

yeah the track events are going to take some effort...I'd only just got back to a decent sleep pattern post tour!
Skinnyphat says:

Jul 26 2012 at 7:14 pm

Im gambling on a classics-like selection. If Cav wins I'm screwed...

VSP PICKS:

1. Sagan
2. Boonen
3. Cancellara
4. Gilbert
5. Evans
Frank Mikolajczak says:

Jul 26 2012 at 7:29 pm

Get 'Em!

VSP PICKS:

1. Cavendish
2. Sagan
3. Cancellara
4. Boonen
5. Van Garderen
mouse says:

Jul 26 2012 at 8:21 pm

How the fuck did Grewal beat Bauer?

Giblets finally comes good, Boonen still sore. Cuddles redeems himself. Turps and Nibbles fight it out for the podium, and Cav comes in for sloppy seconds.

VSP PICKS:

1. Giblets
2. Cuddles
3. Terpstra
4. Nibbles
5. Cavendish
Pistolfromwarragul says:

Jul 26 2012 at 9:17 pm

VSP PICKS:

1. Cancellara
2. Gilbert
3. Gerrans
4. Evans
5. Langeveld