Velominati Super Prestige: Men’s Olympic Road Race 2012

Grewal, legally doped to the gills, takes the win ahead of Canadian Steve Bauer.

You can all wave “goodbye” to your Post GT Depression Syndrome, because the Men’s Olympic Road Race is only three days yonder. I don’t typically give two shits about this particular event; while contested by national teams, unlike the Worlds it appears as just another one-day race on a calendar filled with events that carry much more historical and nostalgic significance. What’s worse, it seems the brilliance has faded from the flame of Olympic Spirit – after all, what is an international sports rivalry without the associated political Boggie Dance of Political Superiority? Merckx, I miss the Cold War.

But this time is different. Contested in London over a route that may or may not favor the squat little speed demon Mark Cavendish, the Cycling world has been abuzz about whether his presence on Team Sky alongside Pippi Longstockings implies his impending doom or his certain success – because everyone knows those are the only two possibilities. Be that as it may, the route boasts to be lumpy enough for breakaways or small field sprints, which makes this particular Velominatus, for once, really excited to see what happens. Oh, and as a special request to the riders, if we could keep everyone off the juice this time round, that would be peaches and creame.

With that, check the start list and pretend like that is going to help you make your predictions. Then look at the route and do the same before making a wild guess and hoping you come up good. One-Day VSP rules apply; get your picks in by the time the countdown timer goes to zero and pray for daylight.

Good luck.

frank

The founder of Velominati and curator of The Rules, Frank was born in the Dutch colonies of Minnesota. His boundless physical talents are carefully canceled out by his equally boundless enthusiasm for drinking. Coffee, beer, wine, if it’s in a container, he will enjoy it, a lot of it. He currently lives in Seattle. He loves riding in the rain and scheduling visits with the Man with the Hammer just to be reminded of the privilege it is to feel completely depleted. He holds down a technology job the description of which no-one really understands and his interests outside of Cycling and drinking are Cycling and drinking. As devoted aesthete, the only thing more important to him than riding a bike well is looking good doing it. Frank is co-author along with the other Keepers of the Cog of the popular book, The Rules, The Way of the Cycling Disciple and also writes a monthly column for the magazine, Cyclist. He is also currently working on the first follow-up to The Rules, tentatively entitled The Hardmen. Email him directly at rouleur@velominati.com.

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  • How timely.  While reading the comments above I noticed THIS article in the "Recent & Random Articles" section below.  Curiously, it only received one comment but in light of the characters in the article and all that has played out this season concerning them - namely, Cavendish and the Schlecks - I think the article deserves a re-read.  It seems that perceptions change over the course of three years and also that a "leopard (not a LeOpard) cannot changes its spots".  What say ye, Fronk?

  • @Daccordi Rider

    The poms are hilarious. They call themselves a dream team, tell everyone they are going to ride on the front and Cav will win and then when the plan fails Cav whinges that no one else would help him! Dickhead.

    They still fail to realize after all these years that as long as the Poms don't win  (and the yanks generally) the rest of the world is pretty happy with the result. I guarantee more Aussies were barracking for Vino than the Douche.

    Any race Vino has been in has been a better race for his presence. He did his time for wrongdoings.

    I'm not sure your enjoyment of another nations failure is that healthy. It may be time to move on.

  • Yes, an Olympic road race structured as a team event would make sense from a sporting point of view. But...there is still an issue with team dynamics, much less selection. For a good look into this, see the movie "Miracle" about how the USA Hockey team was constituted for the 1980 Olympics. "Who do you play for?" Classic.

    What we have in Olympic road cycling now is...meh. Crikey, the only excitement to this race was in that it was *The Olympics*. Sure, generally the best riders all there, but I gotta say there are stages of the Grand Tours that were a buttload more interesting to watch. And dream about riding. While I'm sure the London countryside is a fine ride, who the fuck would give a left nut to ride it? Betcha anyone here could say something different about the Galibier...Aubisque...The Flanders route...l'Aple...Gavia....Stelvio...

  • @Dan_R

    All I know is I can't stand that picture grewal ahead of Bauer.....

    It looks gheyer than two cocks touching.

  • @G'rilla

    Impressive to see Phinney finish 4th, and promising to see how disappointed he was to miss the podium. He has the hunger for victory and will hopefully unleash something special in the TT with Cancellara gone.

    And nevertheless infuriates ting to see him looking around like a Hincapie in the final 5 km whe he should have chasing with Gilbert or Gesink to close it down and have a chance for fucking Gold.

     
    I will never in my life understand the mentality where one hedges their bet in order to take third when they could go all in and take gold.
     
    Third is meaningless. The only place that matters is first. The rest is just different grades of losing.

  • @frank.

    Third is meaningless. The only place that matters is first. The rest is just different grades of losing.

    I think this is the point that Cav missed when assessing the Aussie effort in the race. With Stuey in the break, at least there was a slight chance of getting on the top step (and without radios, how could they have known how much he had left for the finish?). Had they assisted in pulling the sprinters to the line, it would most likely have been to get Gossy first- or second-loser status.

  • @frank

    @G'rilla

    Impressive to see Phinney finish 4th, and promising to see how disappointed he was to miss the podium. He has the hunger for victory and will hopefully unleash something special in the TT with Cancellara gone.

    And nevertheless infuriates ting to see him looking around like a Hincapie in the final 5 km whe he should have chasing with Gilbert or Gesink to close it down and have a chance for fucking Gold.

    I will never in my life understand the mentality where one hedges their bet in order to take third when they could go all in and take gold.

    Third is meaningless. The only place that matters is first. The rest is just different grades of losing.

    Yes. But this begs the question; you can't do it alone (or Sagan would have won), so can you as an individual take as much pride in getting your guy to the line as the guy himself (and be happy with 38th for the effort). Or is the only "thing" crossing the line first. Because you know, you can't do that alone.

    Vino gets gold accents for 4 years. I wouldn't have guessed that in my most inebriated state.

  • I like this from the press:

    Landis leads Vinokourov tributes

    Former professional rider Floyd Landis was quick to make light of Vinokourov's Olympic win. While the Daily Mailcalled the race winner a 'nobody' and CBS ran with the headline "Ex-doper Vinokourov wins Olympic road race", Landis contacted Cyclingnews with the following:

    "If Vino says 'it's a victory for clean cycling" he'd be my hero. Alternatively if he said 'f*** every single mother******* one of you,' that would work too."

  • @frank

    @G'rilla

    Impressive to see Phinney finish 4th, and promising to see how disappointed he was to miss the podium. He has the hunger for victory and will hopefully unleash something special in the TT with Cancellara gone.

    And nevertheless infuriates ting to see him looking around like a Hincapie in the final 5 km whe he should have chasing with Gilbert or Gesink to close it down and have a chance for fucking Gold.

    I will never in my life understand the mentality where one hedges their bet in order to take third when they could go all in and take gold.

    Third is meaningless. The only place that matters is first. The rest is just different grades of losing.

    bullshit Frank. Achieving your best is the measure. Otherwise losers like us wouldn't try things like your half-arsed little mountain climbs.

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