Velominati Super Prestige: Men’s Ronde van Vlaanderen 2016

That's a legitimate Pain Face right there.

Everybody knows there are two kinds of cobbles. Big cobbles, little cobbles, grippy cobbles, and slippy cobbles. And when it comes to mastering the stones, no one is better than the undisputed King of the Cobbles, Kenny Van Vlaminck. And speaking of cobble legends, there is a great piece on our friend Johan Museeuw over on Rouleur today.

According to the weather reports, there is going to be wind and rain on Sunday. And if you watched the live coverage of Gent Wevelgem last week, the storm that blew in after the race was wicked intense. And, since I’ve decided not to visit Belgium this year, you can be pretty sure that the weather will finally be rubbish. You’re welcome.

We rode the RVV route (the classic route, not the crap new one) in the wind, rain, and hail a few years back, and it was striking how slippy the cobbles on the Paterberg and Koppenberg are in the wet. These climbs are borderline doable in the dry, and if you need to get out of the saddle for some extra juice, it is going to take some good bike handling to keep from spinning out.

And don’t forget we’ve got wicked prizes on offer; Don Walker is giving a free custom steel frame to the winner of the VSP overall, and Café Roubaix is awarding a set of their CR Wheelworks Arenberg wheelsets to the runner-up. Third place gets a free V-Kit. Boom. So get prognosticating and get your picks in before the clock goes to zero. Good luck!

[vsp_results id=”40388″/]

frank

The founder of Velominati and curator of The Rules, Frank was born in the Dutch colonies of Minnesota. His boundless physical talents are carefully canceled out by his equally boundless enthusiasm for drinking. Coffee, beer, wine, if it’s in a container, he will enjoy it, a lot of it. He currently lives in Seattle. He loves riding in the rain and scheduling visits with the Man with the Hammer just to be reminded of the privilege it is to feel completely depleted. He holds down a technology job the description of which no-one really understands and his interests outside of Cycling and drinking are Cycling and drinking. As devoted aesthete, the only thing more important to him than riding a bike well is looking good doing it. Frank is co-author along with the other Keepers of the Cog of the popular book, The Rules, The Way of the Cycling Disciple and also writes a monthly column for the magazine, Cyclist. He is also currently working on the first follow-up to The Rules, tentatively entitled The Hardmen. Email him directly at rouleur@velominati.com.

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Father of Four says:

Apr 1 2016 at 11:00 am
VSP PICKS:
1. Cancellara
2. Sagan
3. Van Avermaet
4. Kwiatkowski
5. Vanmarcke
jboandrews says:

Apr 1 2016 at 11:03 am
VSP PICKS:
1. Cancellara
2. Sagan
3. VanAvermat
4. Greipel
5. Valverde
Chickenmcnasty says:

Apr 1 2016 at 11:12 am
VSP PICKS:
1. Stybar
Chickenmcnasty says:

Apr 1 2016 at 11:14 am

@Chickenmcnasty

broke it again...

1. Stybar

2. Cancellara

3. Van Avermaet

4. Boom

5. Krisoff
Geordi says:

Apr 1 2016 at 11:29 am
VSP PICKS:
1. Cancellara
2. Sagan
3. Van Avermaet
4. Sep Vanmarke
5. Stannard
Kevin says:

Apr 1 2016 at 11:32 am
VSP PICKS:
1. CANCELLARA, Fabian
2. SAGAN, Peter
3. VAN AVERMAET, Greg
4. KAWASAKI, Michal
5. VANMARCKE, Sep
Kevin says:

Apr 1 2016 at 11:33 am
VSP PICKS:
1. CANCELLARA, Fabian
2. SAGAN, Peter
3. VAN AVERMAET, Greg
4. KWIATKOWSKI, Michal
5. VANMARCKE, Sep
CanuckChuck says:

Apr 1 2016 at 11:39 am
VSP PICKS:
1. Fabian Cancellara
2. Peter Sagan
3. Greg Van Avermaet
4. Sep Vanmarcke
5. Michal Kwiatkowski
mulebeatsdrums says:

Apr 1 2016 at 11:56 am

@hudson

@mulebeatsdrums

Okay, honesty time: I really don’t like Petr Sagan. That’s not to say I think “he sucks” or whatever; he’s clearly a phenomenal racer/bike-handler (I mean, no-handed wheelies, you guys), but almost equal to his talent is his outright dickishness. Obviously he’s nothing on Gunderson, and he’s certainly not alone in this—Cav and Wiggo are both equally dickish at time—but Pinchy seems to be a dick even when he’s winning. I don’t know, maybe it’s because English is his second language and something is lost in translation. But then, the pinching. Either way, I respect him as a rider, but I don’t like him.

That said, he’s clearly going to be up there on Sunday! I’d love to see Spartacus take the win, but I now Pinchy has woken up, I can’t see him losing.

I’m curious to ask why you say that? For sure his english is lacking, but so is my Slovak, and pretty much any other language other than english. From everything i have read and how the other riders talk of him he’s a pretty outstanding fellow, always stops to sign the autographs for the kids, acknowledges his fans, respects the jersey (other than the whole Rule #33 thing, but that’s behind us now). The pinching thing was inappropriate for sure, he acted on a silly impulse, can’t say i haven’t done the same at some point when i was a younger man. And he publicly apologized which took a fair amount of resolve. I’d really like to know why he’s a dick, maybe you know something i don’t.

Well, I'll start by clarifying my Quality of English comment (I worded very poorly)—please don't think I'm saying "herp derp he should learn English because it's the best language"! I meant it in the sense that if I interviewed in, say, German, I might try to say something witty or light-heartedly sarcastic, but it might come across as arrogant or rude or whatever. And it's not something that second-language speakers suffer from; I know that British and American brands of humour go down like a lead balloon when they try to cross the Atlantic. An example of this is some of Wiggo's statements that many read as being rude and short-tempered, but I read as just being dry British humour. Not all, obviously; he's had his fair share of genuine grumps. In short, it might be that Petr's trying to be funny, but to my ears it comes across as being arrogant.

On top of that, I don't actively seek out interviews (with any riders, generally), so the few I have seen with Sagan have been directly post-race when he probably just wants a shower and a meal. That said, he seems to always be grumpy, whereas I've seen similarly-timed interviews with the likes of Tony Martin and Lizzie Armitstead and they've seemed really happy just to be there, regardless of the outcome of the race. I don't know, maybe he's just very stoic.

A couple of other things I've noted:
1) Throwing his bike away in disgust after something doesn't go his way. Obviously he's not the only pro who does this, but it really pisses me off. In no industry other than professional sport (maybe popular music) is this considered a reasonable, rational, acceptable thing to do. I'm pretty sure I'd get fired if I threw a computer across the room if I was frustrated about something.
2) The green hair and beard at the 2013 Tour. No other justification needed.

As for the Rule #33 thing, I believe he fits into the caveat clause of "dishing out enough hurt" for it to be allowed. And good on him for talking to fans etc. At the end of the day, Cycling is all about enjoying the experience (spectating included), and anyone who puts anything else above that is daft. I also didn't know he'd apologised for the pinching incident (it was before I came to the sport).

Perhaps I've completely misjudged him. I will reassess.

Also, apologies for the friggin' essay!
BacklashJack says:

Apr 1 2016 at 12:21 pm
VSP PICKS:
1. Cancellara
2. Sagan
3. Terpstra
4. Vanmarke
5. Van Avermaet