Velominati Super Prestige: Men’s Ronde van Vlaanderen 2016

Everybody knows there are two kinds of cobbles. Big cobbles, little cobbles, grippy cobbles, and slippy cobbles. And when it comes to mastering the stones, no one is better than the undisputed King of the Cobbles, Kenny Van Vlaminck. And speaking of cobble legends, there is a great piece on our friend Johan Museeuw over on Rouleur today.

According to the weather reports, there is going to be wind and rain on Sunday. And if you watched the live coverage of Gent Wevelgem last week, the storm that blew in after the race was wicked intense. And, since I’ve decided not to visit Belgium this year, you can be pretty sure that the weather will finally be rubbish. You’re welcome.

We rode the RVV route (the classic route, not the crap new one) in the wind, rain, and hail a few years back, and it was striking how slippy the cobbles on the Paterberg and Koppenberg are in the wet. These climbs are borderline doable in the dry, and if you need to get out of the saddle for some extra juice, it is going to take some good bike handling to keep from spinning out.

And don’t forget we’ve got wicked prizes on offer; Don Walker is giving a free custom steel frame to the winner of the VSP overall, and Café Roubaix is awarding a set of their CR Wheelworks Arenberg wheelsets to the runner-up. Third place gets a free V-Kit. Boom. So get prognosticating and get your picks in before the clock goes to zero. Good luck!


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frank

The founder of Velominati and curator of The Rules, Frank was born in the Dutch colonies of Minnesota. His boundless physical talents are carefully canceled out by his equally boundless enthusiasm for drinking. Coffee, beer, wine, if it’s in a container, he will enjoy it, a lot of it. He currently lives in Seattle. He loves riding in the rain and scheduling visits with the Man with the Hammer just to be reminded of the privilege it is to feel completely depleted. He holds down a technology job the description of which no-one really understands and his interests outside of Cycling and drinking are Cycling and drinking. As devoted aesthete, the only thing more important to him than riding a bike well is looking good doing it. Frank is co-author along with the other Keepers of the Cog of the popular book, The Rules, The Way of the Cycling Disciple and also writes a monthly column for the magazine, Cyclist. He is also currently working on the first follow-up to The Rules, tentatively entitled The Hardmen. Email him directly at rouleur@velominati.com.

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  • @RobSandy

    @dinosaurJR

    @RobSandy

    All to do with the now infamous podium girl bottom pinching incident of 2013.

    Ah, I get it now. I hadn’t made the connection.

    It’d be nice if he can make people forget that by smashing the Ronde and/or Roubaix!

    I think Pinchy has a rather endearing quality to it? I think he is a sure thing for P-R too.

     

  • I can't believe how wrong you are all getting it. Obviously the whole Etixx squad has been read the riot act and will finally get something right after all the big names are caught the wrong side of a split caused by @the Engine dropping his Malteni on the Kwaremont. Duh.

    VSP PICKS:

    1. Terpstra
    2. Thomas
    3. Boonen
    4. Kristoff
    5. Roelandts
  • @dinosaurJR

    @RobSandy

    @dinosaurJR

    @RobSandy

    All to do with the now infamous podium girl bottom pinching incident of 2013.

    Ah, I get it now. I hadn’t made the connection.

    It’d be nice if he can make people forget that by smashing the Ronde and/or Roubaix!

    I think Pinchy has a rather endearing quality to it? I think he is a sure thing for P-R too.

    Photos on the inter webs it'll never be forgotten and yes, P-R is all but a certainty (if that is remotely possible)… provided some good fortune. You know, something tells me that he has had the even better fortune of finding himself a better half. Something to be said for that and success that comes from it.

  • @wilburrox

    @dinosaurJR

    @RobSandy

    @dinosaurJR

    @RobSandy

    All to do with the now infamous podium girl bottom pinching incident of 2013.

    Ah, I get it now. I hadn’t made the connection.

    It’d be nice if he can make people forget that by smashing the Ronde and/or Roubaix!

    I think Pinchy has a rather endearing quality to it? I think he is a sure thing for P-R too.

    Photos on the inter webs it’ll never be forgotten and yes, P-R is all but a certainty (if that is remotely possible)… provided some good fortune. You know, something tells me that he has had the even better fortune of finding himself a better half. Something to be said for that and success that comes from it.

    I see your point - the stabilising effect of a good woman.

    I get the impression that everything up to now has been a warm up - soon the leg warmers will come off and Sparty et al. will be in serious trouble. Sagan is a machine, no doubt.

  • @the Engine

    All being well I’ll be at the roadside on Sunday drinking my own volume in Belgian ale and eating my own mass in frites so there is that prospect to dull the pain of disappointment.

    VSP PICKS:

    1. Spartacus
    2. Sagan
    3. van Avermaet
    4. Kristoff
    5. Sep Vanmarcke

    Ah FUCK, Mate!!!  That is AWESOME!!!  I should be right there with you next year!  Don't they run a cyclosportif on Saturday over the same route?  Might have to do it next year!

    VSP PICKS:

    1. Sagan
    2. Sparty
    3. Stybar
    4. Van Avermaet
    5. Tommeke
  • @dinosaurJR

    Sagan would be unbeatable if he rode for, say, Molteni. Would Merckx have won as many if he rode for Tink-off?

    VSP PICKS:

    1. Cancellara
    2. Van Avermaet
    3. Sagan
    4. Vanmarcke
    5. Kwiatkowski
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