Velominati Super Prestige: Men’s World Championship Road Race 2016

Reaching down in the drops for the last drop of the V

Three riders stand out in this photo: Sagan, Van Avarcan’t*, and Deggencobble in the drops, crushing it up the stupid-steep cobbled final climb at the 2015 Worlds in Richmond, Virginia. I’ve never thought much of Virginia, if at all, and I certainly never thought of Virginia’s many cobbled climbs. Goes to show that not everything below the Mason-Dixon Line is rubbish.

The photo says it all: only 66% of the riders climbing in the drops lost the World Championships, while 100% of the riders climbing on the hoods lost them. The science is conclusive: something about climbing in the drops gives you extra Awesome Speed.

From a traditional standpoint, I can’t say the US is the best place to host World Cycling Events. That said, the old Coors Classic was badass as shit, and both the CX and Road World Championships hosted here were easily the best in recent times in both disciplines. Merca: crushing it. So long as we don’t include “winning” within the concept of “crushing it”. But as far as hosting a great race? Nailed it.

Even less traditional is the Qatar Worlds location. As Gianni said, flat and cross winds. Very Dutchish or Flemishish, on the surface of it. Have you ever been in a sauna and had someone blow on you because they are an asshole? If you have, you will realize that in that sort of heat, adding wind makes the wet parts of your skin burn, not cool. In other words, cross winds in the desert is like racing in Belgium while Beelzebub chases you about with a flamethrower.

At least doffing leg warmers and extra jerseys won’t slow anyone down.

Get your picks in by the time the countdown clock goes to nil, and good luck. Oh, and study the start list, as if it helps. Remember: a Don Walker frame is on offer for the winner of the VSP! A custom steel frame!

*Except he Van Avercould at the Olympics. Quite the time to pull out the “No More Second Places” card.

[vsp_results id=”75561″/]

frank

The founder of Velominati and curator of The Rules, Frank was born in the Dutch colonies of Minnesota. His boundless physical talents are carefully canceled out by his equally boundless enthusiasm for drinking. Coffee, beer, wine, if it’s in a container, he will enjoy it, a lot of it. He currently lives in Seattle. He loves riding in the rain and scheduling visits with the Man with the Hammer just to be reminded of the privilege it is to feel completely depleted. He holds down a technology job the description of which no-one really understands and his interests outside of Cycling and drinking are Cycling and drinking. As devoted aesthete, the only thing more important to him than riding a bike well is looking good doing it. Frank is co-author along with the other Keepers of the Cog of the popular book, The Rules, The Way of the Cycling Disciple and also writes a monthly column for the magazine, Cyclist. He is also currently working on the first follow-up to The Rules, tentatively entitled The Hardmen. Email him directly at rouleur@velominati.com.

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View Comments

verytallguy says:

Oct 18 2016 at 4:14 am

@RobSandy

And the water – all the surface water you saw was being pumped from underground aquifers which are running out.

Indeed.

Amazingly, aquifer depletion can be measured by "weighing" the aquifer via its gravitational pull. A pair of satellites called GRACE orbit us 200km apart and measure the distance between them to ten microns. Changes in gravity are measured by changes in relative acceleration of the satellites.

The Arabian aquifer system turns out to be one of the most affected.

http://www.jpl.nasa.gov/news/news.php?feature=4626

Back to cycling, Yorkshire 2019 is rather less likely to have water shortage issues...
Buck Rogers says:

Oct 18 2016 at 5:42 am

@verytallguy

@RobSandy

And the water – all the surface water you saw was being pumped from underground aquifers which are running out.

Indeed.

Amazingly, aquifer depletion can be measured by “weighing” the aquifer via its gravitational pull. A pair of satellites called GRACE orbit us 200km apart and measure the distance between them to ten microns. Changes in gravity are measured by changes in relative acceleration of the satellites.

The Arabian aquifer system turns out to be one of the most affected.

http://www.jpl.nasa.gov/news/news.php?feature=4626

Back to cycling, Yorkshire 2019 is rather less likely to have water shortage issues…

Holy Fuck! That is the coolest thing I have read in ages and to think that we have Trump in a neck and cut-throat race for the White House. WTF? God help us all.
ChrisO says:

Oct 18 2016 at 7:21 am

@Buck Rogers

@verytallguy

@RobSandy

And the water – all the surface water you saw was being pumped from underground aquifers which are running out.

Indeed.

Amazingly, aquifer depletion can be measured by “weighing” the aquifer via its gravitational pull. A pair of satellites called GRACE orbit us 200km apart and measure the distance between them to ten microns. Changes in gravity are measured by changes in relative acceleration of the satellites.

The Arabian aquifer system turns out to be one of the most affected.

http://www.jpl.nasa.gov/news/news.php?feature=4626

Back to cycling, Yorkshire 2019 is rather less likely to have water shortage issues…

Holy Fuck! That is the coolest thing I have read in ages and to think that we have Trump in a neck and cut-throat race for the White House. WTF? God help us all.

It is very true that the groundwater has been sucked out at an alarming rate.

Not all the water comes from there, although it doesn't improve the story... the Gulf states have invested heavily in water desalination plants. These are very energy-intensive but when you're sitting on all that oil and gas, who cares.

The other effect is that the Arabian Gulf (or Persian Gulf as you prefer) is growing increasingly salty with all the heavily concentrated brine which is pumped back in.

Because it's fairly shallow and has a narrow outlet it's more like a lake than a sea so it gets more and more concentrated, which requires more and more energy to desalinate and so on...

In 100 years the oligarchy will have decamped to the bits of the world they've bought in the meantime, and whoever is left will be back to riding camels and living in tents.
wiscot says:

Oct 18 2016 at 7:51 am

Bah! 2017 Tour route announced. Only 36 kms against the clock. Pathetic.
Rick says:

Oct 18 2016 at 8:07 am

@wiscot

Bah! 2017 Tour route announced. Only 36 kms against the clock. Pathetic.

I understand the 13K ITT to begin the race but what is the point of a 23K ITT on the penultimate day? That distance hardly seems worth the logistical efforts.
Harminator says:

Oct 18 2016 at 9:26 am

@Ron

What the hell was Degenkolb doing?! You finish the race then you pop your front wheel out and smash him with it! Gosh, he should know better.

If I ever go bald, no shaved head for me. Only Mr. Clean looks good like that. All else should have the short fuzz/stubble.

He had the shits because the Belgians were hammering the front and disrupting the chase.
KogaLover says:

Oct 18 2016 at 9:31 am

Congrats to @Dancollins! If I see things correctly, you won the VSP again. Remind me next year to simply cast my votes like you did and then I might end up with a nice pair of rims.
dancollins says:

Oct 18 2016 at 11:31 am

@KogaLover

Unless I am mistaken, I think we might still be waiting for the Women's world championship results to be posted and added in to the totals.
KogaLover says:

Oct 18 2016 at 1:00 pm

The women's results have been posted already and cannot imagine @Frank's IT skills so bad that the system does not know how to add up with the speed of light.
Randy C says:

Oct 18 2016 at 6:25 pm

@ChrisO

@Buck Rogers

@verytallguy

@RobSandy

And the water – all the surface water you saw was being pumped from underground aquifers which are running out.

Indeed.

Amazingly, aquifer depletion can be measured by “weighing” the aquifer via its gravitational pull. A pair of satellites called GRACE orbit us 200km apart and measure the distance between them to ten microns. Changes in gravity are measured by changes in relative acceleration of the satellites.

The Arabian aquifer system turns out to be one of the most affected.

http://www.jpl.nasa.gov/news/news.php?feature=4626

Back to cycling, Yorkshire 2019 is rather less likely to have water shortage issues…

Holy Fuck! That is the coolest thing I have read in ages and to think that we have Trump in a neck and cut-throat race for the White House. WTF? God help us all.

It is very true that the groundwater has been sucked out at an alarming rate.

Not all the water comes from there, although it doesn’t improve the story… the Gulf states have invested heavily in water desalination plants. These are very energy-intensive but when you’re sitting on all that oil and gas, who cares.

The other effect is that the Arabian Gulf (or Persian Gulf as you prefer) is growing increasingly salty with all the heavily concentrated brine which is pumped back in.

Because it’s fairly shallow and has a narrow outlet it’s more like a lake than a sea so it gets more and more concentrated, which requires more and more energy to desalinate and so on…

In 100 years the oligarchy will have decamped to the bits of the world they’ve bought in the meantime, and whoever is left will be back to riding camels and living in tents.

Gents, cold fusion is just around the corner. You think the internet changed the world? Unlimited low energy desalinization would only be some icing on the bigger cake provided by cold fusion. CO2 emissions and global warming? Bahhh… Old news. $21 trillion in US debt? Bahhh… chump change. It's gonna be invented soon enough by a bunch of kids that today are collaborating around the world 24-7 to build their minecraft worlds on line in ways we can hardly understand. No worries. Cheers all.