Velominati Super Prestige: Milano-Sanremo 2016

Milan Sanremo. I know we’ve been watching the men and women crush the cobbles already, and that’s the spiritual beginning of the season, but La Primavera is the longest Classic of them all, and the first race of the season that will be a genuine target for all the gunslingers. Which makes this the symbolic start to the season and, typically, the first event of our annual Velominati Super Prestige.

Please don’t call it a fantasy cycling game; the VSP is based on the old season-long Super Prestige (and later the World Cup) which awarded points to riders for how they finished in the qualifying races. The points were tallied and whomever held the most points at the end of the season was declared the winner, was showered in champagne, got epic bragging rights, and presumably got the girl. During the year, the leader earned the right to wear the white leader’s jersey with verticalized rainbow stripes.

Our series is based on the same principle, where you select the riders you think will be in the top five, in order of finishing. Points are awarded for getting your picks right, and bonus points are on offer for getting close. The leader of the event gets a little white jersey as their posting badge, and those who win the events for the Monuments and Grand Tours get to post with a commemorative badge for the ensuing year.

For the last several years, we’ve also been offering some crazy prizes; a custom road frame to the winner, hand built wheels to the runner-up, and a full v-kit to the runner-up-runner. This year, we’re delighted to announce that our friend Dan Richter of Café Roubaix will be offering up another of our collaboration Velominati-CR Wheelworks wheelsets. The V-Kit is the same as last year, with the addition of the possibility to choose the new VLVV design should you so choose.

The big news is that Don Walker of Don Walker Cycles and the head honcho of the North American Handmade Bicycle Show is going to be offering one of his hand-built, custom road frames. I was introduced to Don through @Haldy, who owns something like five of his bikes. There is no denying it when you meet a fellow Velominatus: instant friendship. I had him build me a track bike for The Improbable Hour on Festum Prophetae, and now we’re flirting about my first custom road frame because my other bikes just seem so impersonal now.

Don is the quintessential small frame builder; he only take 6 customer orders per year so you won’t be rolling up to the local group ride only to find four other riders on the same steed. The rest of his bikes are for his team and for the therapy of working with his hands. Working with him on the bike design is an incredible experience; delving into riding style and position and fine-tuning every detail of the build. And then it quickly devolves into shit-talking and teasing. I am so excited to share this experience with the lucky winner.

With that, start prognosticating on your picks and check the scoring guidelines. I know some of you are doing some intense analysis, and recall that last season we had a tie which we had to break by going back to see which of the two were entering their picks in earlier on average. Also don’t Delgado it; we have been known to have the odd timing glitch and even though that’s not your fault, I’m still not going to manually enter your picks because you waited around and the window closed earlier than you thought it would. The kids probably have an emoji for that.

Good luck, and may the V be with you. VLVV.

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frank

The founder of Velominati and curator of The Rules, Frank was born in the Dutch colonies of Minnesota. His boundless physical talents are carefully canceled out by his equally boundless enthusiasm for drinking. Coffee, beer, wine, if it’s in a container, he will enjoy it, a lot of it. He currently lives in Seattle. He loves riding in the rain and scheduling visits with the Man with the Hammer just to be reminded of the privilege it is to feel completely depleted. He holds down a technology job the description of which no-one really understands and his interests outside of Cycling and drinking are Cycling and drinking. As devoted aesthete, the only thing more important to him than riding a bike well is looking good doing it. Frank is co-author along with the other Keepers of the Cog of the popular book, The Rules, The Way of the Cycling Disciple and also writes a monthly column for the magazine, Cyclist. He is also currently working on the first follow-up to The Rules, tentatively entitled The Hardmen. Email him directly at rouleur@velominati.com.

View Comments

  • Looked like Boo-hooni's chain slipped at the crucial moment. That guy has terrible luck and I suspect it's mostly self made. I'm guessing the Assos Ninja was throwing stars to keep his awful stubble off the podium.

  • This is just about my favourite race of the year and I Delgadoed! Who the fuck moved it back to Saturday. Could've sworn this was a Sunday race. Safe to say I would have missed the points anyway.

    Dam they honk it up the Poggio don't they? Love to see guys having to brake into corners going uphill. Great result for Demare. Every dog has his day eh.

  • 1 point. What a start to my VSP, only 7 off the lead!

    Did Demare hold onto his team car to get back on after his crash?

  • @xyxax

    @Minnesota Expat

    @xyxax

    I thought Jalabert was in Les Miserables. The inspector.

    Yes. And he committed suicide by throwing himself into the Seine.

    He would do that just to fuck my VSP. Et tu inspector Jaja?

    Based on everyone's VSP picks, it's more like, " Whooo aaammmm  I ???!!!!!

  • @Rick

    Riders accuse Demare of taking a tow from a team car during Milan-San Remo

    Sticky Bottle?

    Apologies if already posted. Mods feel free to delete.

    I read that. Demare clearly can prove his innocence by providing his power meter and transponder data from the Cipressa. If he does not provide his proof, he is clearly guilty in my book.

  • Armand has posted his data on strava and it would seem to be the real deal.  He logged the fastest time on the Cipressa @ 10:02 but it wasn't way faster than anyone else - I think the next quickest was 10:15 or so. There is a small section near the top of the climb where his cadence drops and yet he continues to travel at 49kph - I suspect that is where he was retrieving a sticky bottle - nothing we haven't seen any of the riders do.

    I think this may be a case of a pair of petulant home riders throwing stones at the 24 year old son of France that took the win.

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