Velominati Super Prestige: Milano-Sanremo 2016

Spoiler alert, Greg. You're fucked.

Milan Sanremo. I know we’ve been watching the men and women crush the cobbles already, and that’s the spiritual beginning of the season, but La Primavera is the longest Classic of them all, and the first race of the season that will be a genuine target for all the gunslingers. Which makes this the symbolic start to the season and, typically, the first event of our annual Velominati Super Prestige.

Please don’t call it a fantasy cycling game; the VSP is based on the old season-long Super Prestige (and later the World Cup) which awarded points to riders for how they finished in the qualifying races. The points were tallied and whomever held the most points at the end of the season was declared the winner, was showered in champagne, got epic bragging rights, and presumably got the girl. During the year, the leader earned the right to wear the white leader’s jersey with verticalized rainbow stripes.

Our series is based on the same principle, where you select the riders you think will be in the top five, in order of finishing. Points are awarded for getting your picks right, and bonus points are on offer for getting close. The leader of the event gets a little white jersey as their posting badge, and those who win the events for the Monuments and Grand Tours get to post with a commemorative badge for the ensuing year.

For the last several years, we’ve also been offering some crazy prizes; a custom road frame to the winner, hand built wheels to the runner-up, and a full v-kit to the runner-up-runner. This year, we’re delighted to announce that our friend Dan Richter of Café Roubaix will be offering up another of our collaboration Velominati-CR Wheelworks wheelsets. The V-Kit is the same as last year, with the addition of the possibility to choose the new VLVV design should you so choose.

The big news is that Don Walker of Don Walker Cycles and the head honcho of the North American Handmade Bicycle Show is going to be offering one of his hand-built, custom road frames. I was introduced to Don through @Haldy, who owns something like five of his bikes. There is no denying it when you meet a fellow Velominatus: instant friendship. I had him build me a track bike for The Improbable Hour on Festum Prophetae, and now we’re flirting about my first custom road frame because my other bikes just seem so impersonal now.

Don is the quintessential small frame builder; he only take 6 customer orders per year so you won’t be rolling up to the local group ride only to find four other riders on the same steed. The rest of his bikes are for his team and for the therapy of working with his hands. Working with him on the bike design is an incredible experience; delving into riding style and position and fine-tuning every detail of the build. And then it quickly devolves into shit-talking and teasing. I am so excited to share this experience with the lucky winner.

With that, start prognosticating on your picks and check the scoring guidelines. I know some of you are doing some intense analysis, and recall that last season we had a tie which we had to break by going back to see which of the two were entering their picks in earlier on average. Also don’t Delgado it; we have been known to have the odd timing glitch and even though that’s not your fault, I’m still not going to manually enter your picks because you waited around and the window closed earlier than you thought it would. The kids probably have an emoji for that.

Good luck, and may the V be with you. VLVV.

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frank

The founder of Velominati and curator of The Rules, Frank was born in the Dutch colonies of Minnesota. His boundless physical talents are carefully canceled out by his equally boundless enthusiasm for drinking. Coffee, beer, wine, if it’s in a container, he will enjoy it, a lot of it. He currently lives in Seattle. He loves riding in the rain and scheduling visits with the Man with the Hammer just to be reminded of the privilege it is to feel completely depleted. He holds down a technology job the description of which no-one really understands and his interests outside of Cycling and drinking are Cycling and drinking. As devoted aesthete, the only thing more important to him than riding a bike well is looking good doing it. Frank is co-author along with the other Keepers of the Cog of the popular book, The Rules, The Way of the Cycling Disciple and also writes a monthly column for the magazine, Cyclist. He is also currently working on the first follow-up to The Rules, tentatively entitled The Hardmen. Email him directly at rouleur@velominati.com.

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View Comments

brett says:

Mar 20 2016 at 12:41 pm

@kixsand

Armand has posted his data on strava and it would seem to be the real deal. He logged the fastest time on the Cipressa @ 10:02 but it wasn’t way faster than anyone else – I think the next quickest was 10:15 or so. There is a small section near the top of the climb where his cadence drops and yet he continues to travel at 49kph – I suspect that is where he was retrieving a sticky bottle – nothing we haven’t seen any of the riders do.

I think this may be a case of a pair of petulant home riders throwing stones at the 24 year old son of France that took the win.

After he initially deleted it. Then reposted without the power.

Tosatto has been around forever, his teammate won't benefit from this, so hardly being petulant. To me, it looks pretty bad for Demare. But nothing will happen, because Pro racing is just riddled with corruption and cheats.

Love it.
Minnesota Expat says:

Mar 20 2016 at 2:19 pm

@brett

But nothing will happen, because Pro racing is just riddled with corruption and cheats.

Well, yeah, all of pro sports. Maybe not curling, but do they get paid anything for spinning a stone down the ice? I'll still spend three-hours on a beautiful sunny spring afternoon watching a stage from last years Giro, before watching a minute of pro football (Amurican style).

What's next, Ghent-Wevelgem and Tour of Flanders? Leaving Tuesday for two-weeks in Barcelona and our 20th anniversary (and a few stages of the Volta, of course). That's entirely a coincidence, but the line-up is looking first class, just hoping for a decent internet connection!
fignons barber says:

Mar 20 2016 at 3:14 pm

@brett

@kixsand

Armand has posted his data on strava and it would seem to be the real deal. He logged the fastest time on the Cipressa @ 10:02 but it wasn’t way faster than anyone else – I think the next quickest was 10:15 or so. There is a small section near the top of the climb where his cadence drops and yet he continues to travel at 49kph – I suspect that is where he was retrieving a sticky bottle – nothing we haven’t seen any of the riders do.

After he initially deleted it. Then reposted without the power.

Ok. So he has his biggest day and biggest win of his life, and quickly deletes his power data, not saving it to review or just have a souvenir. I'm good with that.
kixsand says:

Mar 20 2016 at 3:38 pm

The more I read about it, the more it looks like there was some "assistance" of a significant nature that allowed Demare to contest the final sprint.

He certainly wasn't going 80kph strapped to the side of a team car as stated by the complainants. But, the numbers just don't quite make sense either for a guy his size on a climb like that.

It will be interesting to see if they take any steps towards investigating this further. Or if any more evidence arises.
kixsand says:

Mar 20 2016 at 3:45 pm

Also,

I can't find anything to substantiate Brett's claim that the power data was deleted when the file went back on strava. I have to assume that power was never part of the strava upload - not unusual.

FDJ has the power data and could provide it if they chose to or were compelled to do so.
Minnesota Expat says:

Mar 20 2016 at 4:04 pm

From Twitter

PROOF: Shocking new photo of Arnold Demure getting into the FDJ team car on the Cipressa climb. #cheat
fignons barber says:

Mar 20 2016 at 4:09 pm

@kixsand

Also,

I can’t find anything to substantiate Brett’s claim that the power data was deleted when the file went back on strava. I have to assume that power was never part of the strava upload – not unusual.

FDJ has the power data and could provide it if they chose to or were compelled to do so.

Just read something on cyclingnews. His defense is that if he was guilty, he would have been caught by the officials....and that he was going 50kph on the cipressa, not 80 (still setting the record up the climb).

It also said the data was posted on strava briefly, then removed, only to be reposted sans power.
Barracuda says:

Mar 20 2016 at 7:15 pm

@Minnesota Expat

Spat coffee on keyboard !
sthilzy says:

Mar 20 2016 at 7:44 pm

@Minnesota Expat

Or, could be getting the DS to tighten his laces for the sprint.
Mikael Liddy says:

Mar 20 2016 at 7:54 pm

@fignons barber

@kixsand

Also,

I can’t find anything to substantiate Brett’s claim that the power data was deleted when the file went back on strava. I have to assume that power was never part of the strava upload – not unusual.

FDJ has the power data and could provide it if they chose to or were compelled to do so.

Just read something on cyclingnews. His defense is that if he was guilty, he would have been caught by the officials….and that he was going 50kph on the cipressa, not 80 (still setting the record up the climb).

It also said the data was posted on strava briefly, then removed, only to be reposted sans power.

His max speed was 52 according to strava, but Simon Yates mentioned his was also 54 in among the cars at the top of the climb.