Velominati Super Prestige: Milano-Sanremo 2016

Spoiler alert, Greg. You're fucked.

Milan Sanremo. I know we’ve been watching the men and women crush the cobbles already, and that’s the spiritual beginning of the season, but La Primavera is the longest Classic of them all, and the first race of the season that will be a genuine target for all the gunslingers. Which makes this the symbolic start to the season and, typically, the first event of our annual Velominati Super Prestige.

Please don’t call it a fantasy cycling game; the VSP is based on the old season-long Super Prestige (and later the World Cup) which awarded points to riders for how they finished in the qualifying races. The points were tallied and whomever held the most points at the end of the season was declared the winner, was showered in champagne, got epic bragging rights, and presumably got the girl. During the year, the leader earned the right to wear the white leader’s jersey with verticalized rainbow stripes.

Our series is based on the same principle, where you select the riders you think will be in the top five, in order of finishing. Points are awarded for getting your picks right, and bonus points are on offer for getting close. The leader of the event gets a little white jersey as their posting badge, and those who win the events for the Monuments and Grand Tours get to post with a commemorative badge for the ensuing year.

For the last several years, we’ve also been offering some crazy prizes; a custom road frame to the winner, hand built wheels to the runner-up, and a full v-kit to the runner-up-runner. This year, we’re delighted to announce that our friend Dan Richter of Café Roubaix will be offering up another of our collaboration Velominati-CR Wheelworks wheelsets. The V-Kit is the same as last year, with the addition of the possibility to choose the new VLVV design should you so choose.

The big news is that Don Walker of Don Walker Cycles and the head honcho of the North American Handmade Bicycle Show is going to be offering one of his hand-built, custom road frames. I was introduced to Don through @Haldy, who owns something like five of his bikes. There is no denying it when you meet a fellow Velominatus: instant friendship. I had him build me a track bike for The Improbable Hour on Festum Prophetae, and now we’re flirting about my first custom road frame because my other bikes just seem so impersonal now.

Don is the quintessential small frame builder; he only take 6 customer orders per year so you won’t be rolling up to the local group ride only to find four other riders on the same steed. The rest of his bikes are for his team and for the therapy of working with his hands. Working with him on the bike design is an incredible experience; delving into riding style and position and fine-tuning every detail of the build. And then it quickly devolves into shit-talking and teasing. I am so excited to share this experience with the lucky winner.

With that, start prognosticating on your picks and check the scoring guidelines. I know some of you are doing some intense analysis, and recall that last season we had a tie which we had to break by going back to see which of the two were entering their picks in earlier on average. Also don’t Delgado it; we have been known to have the odd timing glitch and even though that’s not your fault, I’m still not going to manually enter your picks because you waited around and the window closed earlier than you thought it would. The kids probably have an emoji for that.

Good luck, and may the V be with you. VLVV.

[vsp_results id=”38071″/]

frank

The founder of Velominati and curator of The Rules, Frank was born in the Dutch colonies of Minnesota. His boundless physical talents are carefully canceled out by his equally boundless enthusiasm for drinking. Coffee, beer, wine, if it’s in a container, he will enjoy it, a lot of it. He currently lives in Seattle. He loves riding in the rain and scheduling visits with the Man with the Hammer just to be reminded of the privilege it is to feel completely depleted. He holds down a technology job the description of which no-one really understands and his interests outside of Cycling and drinking are Cycling and drinking. As devoted aesthete, the only thing more important to him than riding a bike well is looking good doing it. Frank is co-author along with the other Keepers of the Cog of the popular book, The Rules, The Way of the Cycling Disciple and also writes a monthly column for the magazine, Cyclist. He is also currently working on the first follow-up to The Rules, tentatively entitled The Hardmen. Email him directly at rouleur@velominati.com.

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View Comments

wiscot says:

Mar 16 2016 at 9:55 am

@Buck Rogers

@wiscot

@Buck Rogers

@wiscot

@Buck Rogers

@Gianni

@Buck Rogers

LeMan telling moto in front of him to Move It, I got feckin’ Kelly on the way.

Ahhhh, well, perhaps you might be correct but it is not like you have photographic evidence or any ….

Oh fuck it. Yup, you’re right, I’m wrong. I’m due for hill repeats tomorrow anyways!

If I remember rightly, LeMan was pissed because he wasn’t drafting, he was being impeded by the moto! That was cramping his style and giving Kelly the chance to bridge. Once across there was only going to be one result.

Yup. Gianni has already told me as much as well as that I am a stupid fuck, but we already knew that last bit.

“Once across there was only going to be one result.” Until 1989 at Chambery, France, eh???

If I remember rightly, Kelly was undergeared that day. I think his smallest cog was a 13 and he admitted he should have gone with a 12. He was also likely a bit gassed after his heroic descending to get with the lead group. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=torKC78EpHU

As for the 86 M-SR here’s the clip. Around 1:50 you see that LeMond and Beccia are being impeded by motos, Kelly bridges alone and unaided. He then leads almost the entire way down ensuring that it was a three rider race and that the chasers had no chance of catching. The distance that they put on the gruppo on the descent is huge – and all thanks to Kelly.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QaVbRk_-hpM

So you’re saying that LeMan chose the correct gears and Kelly chose the wrong ones, right? (insert smiley face emoticon) (or maybe his mechanic was out taking a piss for Kelly’s test later on after the race and forgot to put the correct cassette on after he got back and gave Kelly the vial of urine???)

Here’s a great piece on their rivalry and how Kelly almost always came out on top except at the WCC. Love the line about trading a WC for a P-R. Class acts, both of them.

https://greglemondfans.wordpress.com/2013/09/27/the-story-behind-the-picture-1/

Hey! Thanks for that link - fantastic read! I think Kelly was undergeared because cassettes were not as versatile back then and the mechanic gave him a larger low gear (you know what I mean) at the expense of a 12 sprocket. They would have been on what? 7speed/8speed cassettes? Now they could do 11-25 no problem.

What's with the implication of Kelly doping at this race? That's a new one on me.
frank says:

Mar 16 2016 at 10:34 am
Here goes nothing; I think it is working now!

VSP PICKS:
1. Nibbles
2. Billions and Billions
3. Gobbles
4. Faboo
5. Gallopin' Tony
Gianni says:

Mar 16 2016 at 10:37 am

@wiscot

@Buck Rogers

Hill repeats for me too. I was sure those photos were from the descent on the Poggio but now I see Kelly caught them well before the descent and they stayed together until the sprint. Nice work Wiscot.
oldensteel says:

Mar 16 2016 at 10:40 am
I'm really glad the season has gotten in gear. This should be a great year for cycling. Good luck to all.

Sagan

Thomas

Stannard

Matthews

Boonen

VSP PICKS:
1. Sagan
2. Thomas
3. Stannard
4. Matthews
5. Boonen
Buck Rogers says:

Mar 16 2016 at 10:42 am
@wiscot

Nah, he wasn't doping at this race (at least that I have ever heard of), just giving you shit for your Kelly defense over LeMan!

But Kelly was busted twice for doping in his career and the story goes that one time it was actually his mechanic's urine as, "for some reason", Kelly had his mechanic supply the urine for the drug test and his mechanic had used some speed the night before staying up all night working on bikes.

VSP PICKS:
1. Sagan
2. Greg Van Avermaet
3. Cancellara
4. Bosen Hagan
5. Stybar
Ron says:

Mar 16 2016 at 11:15 am

Jeez. It's Wednesday everyone. No need to get all worked up. Yet. If the VSP isn't running mere hours before a race, then we have problems. Not in the middle of the week for a Saturday race.

Let's calm ourselves, the VSP is a long-haul, not a sprint.
frank says:

Mar 16 2016 at 11:17 am

@Richo

@Teocalli

Ah yes. thanks. Sorry Frank.

No sweat - we like the nicknames. In fact, the system is the closest thing I've coded to a "learning" system and it does a pretty great job of automatically mapping, and once I map a new name, it will remember it for anyone who uses the same nickname.
TheVid says:

Mar 16 2016 at 11:31 am
Narrows the list down to 8, throws darts...

VSP PICKS:
1. Matthews
2. Sagan
3. Kristoff
4. Bo-Hag
5. Spartacus
TheVid says:

Mar 16 2016 at 11:35 am
Well, the picks post up, but it still says 'Pick not yet mapped'.

VSP PICKS:
1. Matthews
2. Sagan
3. Kristoff
4. Bo-Hag
5. Spartacus
TheVid says:

Mar 16 2016 at 11:37 am
Apparently it's just Bo-Hag it doesn't like.

VSP PICKS:
1. Matthews
2. Sagan
3. Kristoff
4. Edvald Boasson Hagen
5. Spartacus