Velominati Super Prestige: Paris-Roubaix 2012

VELOMINATI HItS THE COBBLES OF CAPPELLE EN PÉVÉLLE. PHOTO: JESSE WILLEMS

We rode the Pavé of Roubaix in the dry, and any comforting feelings we might have been carrying about with us that suggested we had somehow prepared for them were summarily vaporized as we hit the first secteur. Riding together in a group, unable to reach for the brakes or the shifters, we all were hit with the same realization: these aren’t like the stones we have at home. Not if you live anywhere other than along the cobbled roads of Northern France. Not if you live in England. Not if you live in the Netherlands. Not even if you live in Belgium. And we won’t even talk about the rest of the world.

The Trouée of Arenberg is a sacred place. Arriving there, you feel the need to pray out of respect. Riding there, you feel the need to pray out of a sense of self preservation. There is no smooth path through these particularly rough cobbles. That was in the dry; if the race is wet as predicted by the weathermen (whom I assume are as bad at being right as they are in the States), then there isn’t a bag big enough to hold all the prayers the riders are going to need to get through these. And the Trouée is not the hardest or roughest secteur, by a considerable margin; that honor goes to Mons-en-Pévéle or Carrfoure de l’Arbre.

Keep an eye on the weather report as the race comes nearer, as wet roads will turn this race into one of attrition. Cancellara has broken his collarbone; Boonen, Pozzato, and Ballan are on form. But this is a long race, and details such as those matter little when a race contains over fifty kilometers of cobbles. Is it another year for the breakaway, or will the favorites close it down as they approach the finale? I don’t know, but watch the countdown timer and get your picks in by Sunday morning at 5am Pacific. Winner of this VSP event will earn the right to comment all year with the pavé commenting badge. We will also forgo the usual Symbol Pack prize awarded to a Monument and award the winner a copy of the local newspaper the day after the race.

Bon chance.

frank

The founder of Velominati and curator of The Rules, Frank was born in the Dutch colonies of Minnesota. His boundless physical talents are carefully canceled out by his equally boundless enthusiasm for drinking. Coffee, beer, wine, if it’s in a container, he will enjoy it, a lot of it. He currently lives in Seattle. He loves riding in the rain and scheduling visits with the Man with the Hammer just to be reminded of the privilege it is to feel completely depleted. He holds down a technology job the description of which no-one really understands and his interests outside of Cycling and drinking are Cycling and drinking. As devoted aesthete, the only thing more important to him than riding a bike well is looking good doing it. Frank is co-author along with the other Keepers of the Cog of the popular book, The Rules, The Way of the Cycling Disciple and also writes a monthly column for the magazine, Cyclist. He is also currently working on the first follow-up to The Rules, tentatively entitled The Hardmen. Email him directly at rouleur@velominati.com.

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View Comments

il ciclista medio says:

Apr 5 2012 at 9:41 pm

In case there's confusion with my poor attempts at naming

First two are obvious, Taylor Phinney, Luca Paolin, Ballan

Good luck to all, especially me!

VSP PICKS:

1. Thor de force (finally)
2. Tommeke
3. Phinnius Fog
4. Paolinguini
5. Ballanllan
RedRanger says:

Apr 5 2012 at 9:41 pm

@all
the Keepers and other did us proud by representing on the pave. while Pro's are riding in the gutters our boys are killing it on the roughest parts. tip a glass to them!
RedRanger says:

Apr 5 2012 at 9:44 pm

VSP PICKS:

1. Boonen
2. Pippo
3. Breschel
4. Ballan
5. EBH
Bonesx says:

Apr 5 2012 at 9:58 pm

@paolo

@Ron

@Vin'cenza

@frankWhat is the make of the "V" face plate stem ??

I'm mistaken for a PRO almost every time I leave the house - people snapping photos, team car behind me, folks scurrying to pick up my discarded bidons. Actually, it can be pretty funny when someone inquires who doesn't know much about cycling and they assume that since you're in full Lycra, you must be a PRO.

In a local Coffee Bean I was asked by the Barista "How far have you ridden?" I said "oh about 50 miles" at which point the wide eyed Barista exclaimed "are you a professional? " which obviously brought a hoot a of laughter from me and I said " Do I look like a professional?" he looked at me and a bit taken aback he says "I have no idea". I'm 5ft 9 and about 190lbs so I think you all can figure that one out.

Classic one. But I'm guessing 50 miles would seem a long way on his inevitably overgeared hipster fixie......
....oh and don't forget he works for tips!

VSP PICKS:

1. Thor the hammer
2. Pozzato
3. Boonen
4. Peter Sagan off the bench
5. Ballan
sthilzy says:

Apr 5 2012 at 10:12 pm

VSP PICKS:

1. Boonen
2. Pozzato
3. Ballan
4. Chavanel
5. Hushovd
frank says:

Apr 5 2012 at 10:16 pm

@ actor1

yeah, i know. i'm subjecting myself to all sorts of ridcule. george has had a great career & chances are good he won't make it, but hey, i'm going to pull for the underdog anyway...

VSP PICKS:

1. hincapie
2. boonen
3. pozzato
4. van summeren
5. phinney

I like your style. I saw him on the Carrefour de l'Arbre today and I got so excited all I got in the photo was his front wheel.
napolinige says:

Apr 5 2012 at 10:16 pm

VSP PICKS:

1. Boonen
2. Pozzato
3. Hushovd
4. Ballan
5. Vanmarcke
frank says:

Apr 5 2012 at 10:37 pm

@RedRanger

@all
the Keepers and other did us proud by representing on the pave. while Pro's are riding in the gutters our boys are killing it on the roughest parts. tip a glass to them!

There's been much discussion on this; riding the crown is often smoother than other parts of the pavÃ©, and it is pretty fast up there. The gutter can be slow, but can also be really fast at times, but you have more risk of punctures because that's where all the crap settles after a rainfall. You have to read each secteur, but by and large the crown seems like a good place to be.

That secteur is the Carrfour de l'Arbre, and is the last really hard section - and is usually decisive. It is long, twisty, has several 90 degree bends (which are hard on the pavÃ©) and has some really bad sections of stones.

The bit where the cameraman was standing is towards the end, where the shaking is so bad you wonder if your bars will pop out of your hands. Amazing.
frank says:

Apr 5 2012 at 10:41 pm

@mouse

@Ron

Marko is lookin' mean in those shots! Nice!!

Marko is looking like most of us would look if we were getting a cobble enema.

Awesome! Its kind of what it feels like.
frank says:

Apr 5 2012 at 10:53 pm

That reminds me, for those of you wondering about the full suspension bike, we did ask Museeuw about it when we rode with him; he called it "the throne"...said it was terrible for the race because while it was comfortable on the cobbles, there are 200km of tarmac by the time you get to Roubaix; without lockouts on the suspension, through every corner etc, he was just wobbling through "on the throne".