Velominati Super Prestige: Paris-Roubaix 2013

Faboo after dishing out the hurt on Le Carrefour de l'Arbre" src="http://www.velominati.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/04/photo-1-620x465.jpg" width="620" height="465" /> The Lion cooks up a helping of V-cakes for Faboo after dishing out the hurt on Le Carrefour

It looks so easy on the television. Well, no, actually it looks pretty bloody hard. We think we have some understanding of how they suffer, how their bodies can take the continual beating. But we don’t really know. Not even by riding these abominations they call roads twice in the space of a few days can we understand the scale of the thing. Not even by witnessing firsthand a master of the cobbles effortlessly turning the cranks, cruising past us as if on a cushion of air by comparison to our bed of nails can we fully comprehend what it takes to ride these secteurs with any panache, style or speed.

While we witnessed a Roubaix masterclass from The Lion himself today, a new name could be added alongside his on the long list of legends on Sunday. Or it could be a former vainquer adding to an already impressive palmares. But as we’ve seen in the past, and even the past hours, luck plays as big a part as skill, talent and fitness in this most beautifully horrible race. And it plays an even bigger part in picking the top five in the VSP.

All you have to do is sit back and enjoy the spectacle. We’ll be doing the hard yards at the side of the roads of Troisvilles, the Troueé, and the Carrefour. Study the form guide, then throw it out. It’s no good to you here.

In the meantime here’s a look at a bunch of nobodies and a guru riding a secteur on today’s recon. The lesson comes at around 0.15.

[vsp_results id=”22968″/]

Brett

Don't blame me

View Comments

  • Fooock'in Sparty brings home the double and Thor returns to the podium with Mini-Phinney landing the first supposedly undoped podium for us Yanks!  Come on Sunday!!!

    VSP PICKS:

    1. Cancellara
    2. Thor
    3. Phinney
    4. Chavanel
    5. Stannard

  • @Mirko

    In addition to my VSP picks, I predict that David Harmon will mispronounce every name you could possibly mispronounce and that Sean Kelly will not laugh at a single one of his jokes.

    Ha!  Nice!

  • @brian

    It's a bollocks this race! You're working like an animal, you don't have time to piss, you wet your pants. You're riding in mud like this, you're slipping, it's a piece of shit ...
    "”Theo De Rooy, in 1985 after abandoning Paris-Roubaix

    that being said,here's my picks.

    VSP PICKS:

    1. chavanel
    2. edvald boassen hagen
    3. flecha
    4. fab
    5. rollin

    But you forgot to post the best part of that quote after Tesh asks if he will be back next year: 
    "Sure, it's the most beautiful race in the world!"

  • VSP PICKS:

    1. Cancellara
    2. Roelandts
    3. Chavanel
    4. Phinney
    5. Boasson Hagen


  • Its a shame its not going to be wet.

    VSP PICKS:

    1. Spartacus
    2. EBH
    3. Chav
    4. Devolder
    5. JVS

  • @Buck Rogers

    @Mirko

    In addition to my VSP picks, I predict that David Harmon will mispronounce every name you could possibly mispronounce and that Sean Kelly will not laugh at a single one of his jokes.

    Ha! Nice!

    #1 - I'm not going to complain when I get to watch any race I want for free, often with a Eurosport feed.

    #2 - What the fuck do you want, Grandpa Phil & Diamond Paul? I like both Harmon & King. You try to "call" a race that is 4 hours of nothing, then a sprint finish. Harmon called the Ronde on Sunday & then was off to Spain the very next day. I think that guy works his arse off & it might seem glamorous, but I bet it's hard damn work, lots of nights in hotels living out of a suitcase.

    King Kelly doesn't laugh because he's still thinking about all the Guns he could rip off with ease.

    And, after watching all of a few minutes of the NCAA basketball tournament I was reminded just how truly awful announcers (and commercials!) can be. Gimme all the weird Eurosport adverts and a full heap of the Sidi cooking ads...

  • Here is a video of the Cancellara training crash, if you want to see it:

    http://nieuws.vtm.be/sport/2013040442717-cancellara-valt-bekijk-de-beelden

    Also, wasn't meaning to imply the Ronde was four hours of flats, but saying that Harmon calls bunches of races, including boring-as stage races where there isn't much to say in the lead up to the sprint finish.

    I just think you have to consider the alternatives before you knock those two. I even enjoy Backstedt , mainly because I'm continually amazed by his Brit-Swede accent.

  • The Norsemen of the apocolypse finish 1-2 overtaking the swiss mis-ter in the final KM.

    VSP PICKS:

    1. BoHog
    2. Thor
    3. Sparty
    4. G Thomas
    5. Chavanel

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