Velominati Super Prestige: Paris-Roubaix 2013
It looks so easy on the television. Well, no, actually it looks pretty bloody hard. We think we have some understanding of how they suffer, how their bodies can take the continual beating. But we don’t really know. Not even by riding these abominations they call roads twice in the space of a few days can we understand the scale of the thing. Not even by witnessing firsthand a master of the cobbles effortlessly turning the cranks, cruising past us as if on a cushion of air by comparison to our bed of nails can we fully comprehend what it takes to ride these secteurs with any panache, style or speed.
While we witnessed a Roubaix masterclass from The Lion himself today, a new name could be added alongside his on the long list of legends on Sunday. Or it could be a former vainquer adding to an already impressive palmares. But as we’ve seen in the past, and even the past hours, luck plays as big a part as skill, talent and fitness in this most beautifully horrible race. And it plays an even bigger part in picking the top five in the VSP.
All you have to do is sit back and enjoy the spectacle. We’ll be doing the hard yards at the side of the roads of Troisvilles, the Troueé, and the Carrefour. Study the form guide, then throw it out. It’s no good to you here.
In the meantime here’s a look at a bunch of nobodies and a guru riding a secteur on today’s recon. The lesson comes at around 0.15.
[vsp_results id=”22968″/]
I hate to be boring, but there just isn’t a compelling argument for anyone else to win.
VSP PICKS:
1. Cancellara
2. Chavanel
3. Phinney
4. Tjallingii
5. Boom
Fabu goes on a solo ride 50 k before the finish. The chasing group comes close, but it’s not enough. John-Boy wins the sprint easily, Edvald beats Phinney in a photo finish. Selvaggi makes it into the top five simply because of his first name.
VSP PICKS:
1. Spartacus
2. Degenkolb
3. Boasson Hagen
4. Phinney
5. Selvaggi
I’m gonna try the VSP for the first time in my life and bet on the sure horse.
VSP PICKS:
1. Faboo
2. Vansummeren
3. Chavanel
4. Boom
5. Phinney
Oh wow, that clip reminds me a lot of the part in a “A Sunday in Hell” when Moser (I think?) comes through like a locomotive.
Ahem, the bibs have been updated? How the hell did I miss this!
Just like this
VSP PICKS:
1. Spartacus
2. Chavanel
3. Phinney
4. Boss Hogg
5. Vansummeren
Fuck the favourites. It’s a Tricolore Trifecta, and Chav finally bags the big one!!
“Allons enfants de la Patrie,…”
VSP PICKS:
1. Sylvain Chavanel
2. Turgot
3. Ladagnous
4. Phinney
5. Haussler
VSP PICKS:
1. CHAVANEL
2. CANCELLARA
3. GREIPEL
4. DEGENKOLB
5. KRISTOFF
VSP PICKS:
1. lone ranger cancellara
2. wild bill hushovd
3. jesse james goss
4. bat masterson vansummeren
5. hopalong cassidy king
VSP PICKS:
1. Haussler
2. Fabbo
3. Chavanel
4. Phinney
5. Roelandts
VSP PICKS:
1. Cancellara
2. Phinney
3. Chavanel, Sylvain
4. Turgot, Seb
5. Hushovd
VSP PICKS:
1. Boassen Hagen
2. Veilits
3. Farrar
4. Cancellara
5. Chavanel
If Sparticus hadn’t fallen I would have gone with the consensus pick, but I think that his luck won’t hold. My hope (for my picks to be true) is that the favorites will just mark Faboo and a break of enough quality will get away and he won’t be able to pull it back alone.
VSP PICKS:
1. Greg Van Avermaet
2. Lars Boom
3. Edvald Boassen Hagen
4. Tyler Phinney
5. John Degenkolb
VSP PICKS:
1. Heinrich
2. Fabian
3. Chavanel
4. Flecha
5. Hayman
VSP PICKS:
1. Fabian Cancellara
2. Thor Hushovd
3. Taylor Phinney
4. Lars Boom
5. Sylvian Chavanel
Hoping Heiny gets up. Worth a fortune with the bookies
VSP PICKS:
1. Faboo
2. Haussler
3. Chavanel
4. Van Avermaet
5. EBH
Hoping Heiny gets up. Paying a motza with the bookies
VSP PICKS:
1. Faboo
2. Chavanel
3. EBH
4. Phinney
5. Thor
VSP PICKS:
1. Cancellara
2. Vanmarke
3. Haussler
4. Chavanel
5. Hayman
I have no chance of coming back
VSP PICKS:
1. Cancellara
2. Phinney
3. Roelandts
4. Chavanel
5. Boom
Fair play to Frank (? was it) for going with him as he went past.
VSP PICKS:
1. Spartacrash
2. Mini Phinney
3. Chavanel
4. Stannard
5. Turbo Durbo
VSP PICKS:
1. Cancellara
2. Chavanel
3. Vanmarcke
4. Burghardt
5. Flecha
Oh yeah.
VSP PICKS:
1. Chavanal
2. Cancellara
3. Hushovd
4. Phinney
5. Boom
Ye, bet that was frank that went after him haha. Attempted Lion Tamer…
VSP PICKS:
1. Phinney
2. Chavanel
3. Boom
4. Haussler
5. Spartacus
It’s a bollocks this race! You’re working like an animal, you don’t have time to piss, you wet your pants. You’re riding in mud like this, you’re slipping, it’s a piece of shit …
“”Theo De Rooy, in 1985 after abandoning Paris-Roubaix
that being said,here’s my picks.
VSP PICKS:
1. chavanel
2. edvald boassen hagen
3. flecha
4. fab
5. rollin
VSP PICKS:
1. Fabian Cancellara
2. Jurgen Roelandts
3. Sylvain Chavanel
4. Ian Stannard
5. Heinrich Haussler
VSP PICKS:
1. Motorcus
2. Roelandts
3. Kristoff
4. Chavanel
5. Turgot
Chavanel & Boss Hog because they held onto the Cancelgan train longer than anyone else. Glad Kwiatkowski isn’t listed as racing because I liked his ride at Flanders so much I’d be tempted to put him. That would be dumb though, wouldn’t it?
VSP PICKS:
1. Cancellara
2. Haussler
3. Turgot
4. Sylvain Chavanel
5. Boasson Hagen
VSP PICKS:
1. Turgot
2. Chavanel
3. Van Avaermet
4. Degenkolb
5. Cancellara
Meanwhile at the Bleeding Carrots training camp
DS – Who wants to do Paris Roubaix this year?
Riders – Don’t be fucking stupid.
DS – Ok same as last year then, names in the hat?
VSP PICKS:
1. Chavanel
2. Flecha
3. Phinney
4. Cancellara
5. Pippo
VSP PICKS:
1. Faboo
2. Thor
3. Degenkolb
4. Phinney
5. Stannard
VSP PICKS:
1. Cancellara
2. Roelandts
3. Kristoff
4. Chavanel
5. Boom
VSP PICKS:
1. Cancellara, Faboo
2. Van Summeren, Johan
3. Thomas, Geraint
4. Chavanel, Sylvain
5. Roelandts, Jurgen
Spartacus will be a marked man much the same as in 2011 it will be him vs the rest of the peleton. Haussler will come into the veledrome in a breakaway of 3 and take the bunch sprint. Spartacus will come in soon after on his own followed closely by Roelandts.
Pfft what do I know – but I have missed a few VSP entries so far this year – taking a speculator is the only way to get me up the ladder!
VSP PICKS:
1. Haussler
2. Thurgot
3. Boom
4. Spartacus
5. Roelandts
Epic footy and a great song, can’t wait to see more from the Keepers tour.
Oh, and regarding that other cobbled ride, I still gotta go with Fab. Haven’t heard enough to make me think he’s not still the strongest of the bunch. Wrestling with putting Boom in there somewhere as well… but he’s always disappointed when I’ve played him in the past. Here’s hoping some of the youngsters can step up!
VSP PICKS:
1. He is The Motor
2. Phinney
3. Al Kristoff
4. Stannard
5. Chavanel
WTF do I know?
VSP PICKS:
1. Spartacus
2. Chanel #5
3. Roelandts
4. Van Summers night
5. Vanmarcke
VSP PICKS:
1. Heine Haussler
2. Spartacus Faboo
3. Swift Phinney
4. Chanel #5
5. Row, Lance
Yeah. There.
In addition to my VSP picks, I predict that David Harmon will mispronounce every name you could possibly mispronounce and that Sean Kelly will not laugh at a single one of his jokes.
@ChrisO
@Beers
Oh yes, it was Frank. You can almost see the thought bubble above his head after Museeuw goes by…
What the fuck? Museeuw? It’s go time old man, the monkey is on your ass…
VSP PICKS:
1. Faboo
2. Finney
3. Devolder
4. Haussler
5. boss hogg
I’m sure P-R’s lottery will mix things up a bit. Could have picked five or six others for a place, at least. Be good to see big Thor do a ride, but I’m afraid he’s going to turd…
VSP PICKS:
1. Cancellara
2. Boom
3. Devolder
4. Phinney
5. Chavanel
VSP PICKS:
1. Cancellara
2. Sylv Chav
3. Greipel
4. Boom
5. Phinney
I’d like to see Faboo extend his run of form, but I can’t help thinking that things happen in threes and he’ll end up on his arse again.
As for the rest – pffft, pure guesswork. I’d like to see Phinney make the podium on V alone, Chavanel should be in with a shout instead of the broken Boonen.
Good work on that video – strong riding.
@Frank
I hope you had the mental capacity left to realise “Bloody hell, I’m chasing down the Lion on a P-R secteur” to keep the pain in your guns at bay. Or was it just pain, pain and more pain?
VSP PICKS:
1. Crashacus
2. Chavanel
3. Mini Phinney
4. Terpstra
5. Boom
Will 2 spills in 2 days cost Spartacus? Last chance saloon for Sky classics season? Who knows? All I know is that it’ll be the riders with more than a little fortune on their side that triumph in the velodrome on Sunday. Going with the man. Even if he’s marked he’ll still ride away. 2 Team Sky in the top 5. Stuck in south Poland with a wavering wifi signal. Will be following on twitter unless I find a bar showing Eurosport.
VSP PICKS:
1. Cancellara
2. Boasson Hagen
3. Chavanel
4. Roelandts
5. Thomas
VSP PICKS:
1. Phinney
2. Cancellara
3. Kristov
4. Vandenbergh
5. Langeveld
@Fausto
I might have had my best day on a bike ever as far as form goes. I could just accellerate and do what I needed. On a few occasions, Johan and I even finished alone ahead of the group. Getting paid a compliment by the Lion on your riding over the stones is enough to send one into the stratosphere.
Fab’s luck has run out. Big Jurgen looks the goods after de Ronde, that fucker’s taller than Frank and rides a lot less seatpost!
Stand by for the next video from le Carrefour, you may be able to just see me in the distance dropping Frank, Lion and Cub…
VSP PICKS:
1. Roelandts
2. Davis Jr
3. Chav
4. Heiny
5. Boom