Velominati Super Prestige

Velominati Super Prestige: Paris-Roubaix 2013

The Lion cooks up a helping of V-cakes for <a href=
Faboo after dishing out the hurt on Le Carrefour de l'Arbre" src="http://www.velominati.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/04/photo-1-620x465.jpg" width="620" height="465" /> The Lion cooks up a helping of V-cakes for Faboo after dishing out the hurt on Le Carrefour

It looks so easy on the television. Well, no, actually it looks pretty bloody hard. We think we have some understanding of how they suffer, how their bodies can take the continual beating. But we don’t really know. Not even by riding these abominations they call roads twice in the space of a few days can we understand the scale of the thing. Not even by witnessing firsthand a master of the cobbles effortlessly turning the cranks, cruising past us as if on a cushion of air by comparison to our bed of nails can we fully comprehend what it takes to ride these secteurs with any panache, style or speed.

While we witnessed a Roubaix masterclass from The Lion himself today, a new name could be added alongside his on the long list of legends on Sunday. Or it could be a former vainquer adding to an already impressive palmares. But as we’ve seen in the past, and even the past hours, luck plays as big a part as skill, talent and fitness in this most beautifully horrible race. And it plays an even bigger part in picking the top five in the VSP.

All you have to do is sit back and enjoy the spectacle. We’ll be doing the hard yards at the side of the roads of Troisvilles, the Troueé, and the Carrefour. Study the form guide, then throw it out. It’s no good to you here.

In the meantime here’s a look at a bunch of nobodies and a guru riding a secteur on today’s recon. The lesson comes at around 0.15.

[vsp_results id=”22968″/]

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347 Replies to “Velominati Super Prestige: Paris-Roubaix 2013”

  1. VSP PICKS:

    1. Cancellara
    2. Flecha
    3. stannard
    4. Thomas
    5. chavanel

  4. @frank

    An improvement on him telling you to lose weight last year! Strong praise indeed, and nice when you find you’ve got your good legs on for a day like that too.

    My deep jealousy is offset only by knowing I have 2 weeks of sunny Mediterranean riding coming up. I’ve had enough of the cold of this never-ending Winter, it’s fucking miserable. The only plus point is that after employing Rules #5 & #9 and not missing  a ride is that everything will seem easy when the weather improves.

  5. VSP PICKS:

    1. Cancellara
    2. Sylvain Chavanel
    3. Boasson Hagen
    4. Roelandts
    5. Haussler

  6. Favorites? Shmavorites.

    VSP PICKS:

    1. Taylor Winny Phinney
    2. Chavanel
    3. Devolder
    4. Johan Vansummeren
    5. Stuart O’Grady

  7. @frank

    @Fausto

    @Frank

    I hope you had the mental capacity left to realise “Bloody hell, I’m chasing down the Lion on a P-R secteur” to keep the pain in your guns at bay. Or was it just pain, pain and more pain?

    I might have had my best day on a bike ever as far as form goes. I could just accellerate and do what I needed. On a few occasions, Johan and I even finished alone ahead of the group. Getting paid a compliment by the Lion on your riding over the stones is enough to send one into the stratosphere.

    Fucking sweet Frank.

  8. VSP PICKS:

    1. Cancellara
    2. Roelandts
    3. Maaskant
    4. Haussler
    5. Pozzato

  10. VSP PICKS:

    1. Cancellara
    2. Hauler
    3. Biassed Hagen
    4. Chavanel
    5. O’Grady

  11. Fooock’in Sparty brings home the double and Thor returns to the podium with Mini-Phinney landing the first supposedly undoped podium for us Yanks!  Come on Sunday!!!

    VSP PICKS:

    1. Cancellara
    2. Thor
    3. Phinney
    4. Chavanel
    5. Stannard

  12. @Mirko

    In addition to my VSP picks, I predict that David Harmon will mispronounce every name you could possibly mispronounce and that Sean Kelly will not laugh at a single one of his jokes.

    Ha!  Nice!

  13. @brian

    It’s a bollocks this race! You’re working like an animal, you don’t have time to piss, you wet your pants. You’re riding in mud like this, you’re slipping, it’s a piece of shit …
    “”Theo De Rooy, in 1985 after abandoning Paris-Roubaix

    that being said,here’s my picks.

    VSP PICKS:

    1. chavanel
    2. edvald boassen hagen
    3. flecha
    4. fab
    5. rollin

    But you forgot to post the best part of that quote after Tesh asks if he will be back next year: 
    “Sure, it’s the most beautiful race in the world!”

  14. VSP PICKS:

    1. chavanel
    2. cancellara
    3. roleandts
    4. vansummeren
    5. rollin

  15. VSP PICKS:

    1. Cancellara
    2. Roelandts
    3. Chavanel
    4. Phinney
    5. Boasson Hagen


  16. Its a shame its not going to be wet.

    VSP PICKS:

    1. Spartacus
    2. EBH
    3. Chav
    4. Devolder
    5. JVS

  17. @Buck Rogers

    @Mirko

    In addition to my VSP picks, I predict that David Harmon will mispronounce every name you could possibly mispronounce and that Sean Kelly will not laugh at a single one of his jokes.

    Ha! Nice!

    #1 – I’m not going to complain when I get to watch any race I want for free, often with a Eurosport feed.

    #2 – What the fuck do you want, Grandpa Phil & Diamond Paul? I like both Harmon & King. You try to “call” a race that is 4 hours of nothing, then a sprint finish. Harmon called the Ronde on Sunday & then was off to Spain the very next day. I think that guy works his arse off & it might seem glamorous, but I bet it’s hard damn work, lots of nights in hotels living out of a suitcase.

    King Kelly doesn’t laugh because he’s still thinking about all the Guns he could rip off with ease.

    And, after watching all of a few minutes of the NCAA basketball tournament I was reminded just how truly awful announcers (and commercials!) can be. Gimme all the weird Eurosport adverts and a full heap of the Sidi cooking ads…

  18. Here is a video of the Cancellara training crash, if you want to see it:

    http://nieuws.vtm.be/sport/2013040442717-cancellara-valt-bekijk-de-beelden

    Also, wasn’t meaning to imply the Ronde was four hours of flats, but saying that Harmon calls bunches of races, including boring-as stage races where there isn’t much to say in the lead up to the sprint finish.

    I just think you have to consider the alternatives before you knock those two. I even enjoy Backstedt , mainly because I’m continually amazed by his Brit-Swede accent.

  19. The Norsemen of the apocolypse finish 1-2 overtaking the swiss mis-ter in the final KM.

    VSP PICKS:

    1. BoHog
    2. Thor
    3. Sparty
    4. G Thomas
    5. Chavanel

  20. VSP PICKS:

    1. Roelandts
    2. Cancellara
    3. Phinney
    4. Turgot
    5. Degenkolb

  21. VSP PICKS:

    1. Cancellara
    2. Thomas
    3. Phinney
    4. Chavanel
    5. Boasson Hagen

  22. @Ron

    @Buck Rogers

    @Mirko

    In addition to my VSP picks, I predict that David Harmon will mispronounce every name you could possibly mispronounce and that Sean Kelly will not laugh at a single one of his jokes.

    Ha! Nice!

    #1 – I’m not going to complain when I get to watch any race I want for free, often with a Eurosport feed.

    #2 – What the fuck do you want, Grandpa Phil & Diamond Paul? I like both Harmon & King. You try to “call” a race that is 4 hours of nothing, then a sprint finish. Harmon called the Ronde on Sunday & then was off to Spain the very next day. I think that guy works his arse off & it might seem glamorous, but I bet it’s hard damn work, lots of nights in hotels living out of a suitcase.

    King Kelly doesn’t laugh because he’s still thinking about all the Guns he could rip off with ease.

    Damn, man, didn’t realize you felt so strongly about it!  I just thought is was a funny ass comment (which it is!)  Bring on SUNDAY, BABY!!!

  23. VSP PICKS:

    1. chavanel
    2. cancellara
    3. roleandts
    4. vansummeren
    5. ladagnous

  26. @Gianni

    @ChrisO

    @Beers

    Oh yes, it was Frank. You can almost see the thought bubble above his head after Museeuw goes by…

    What the fuck? Museeuw? It’s go time old man, the monkey is on your ass…

    If pro cyclist is an over romanced occupation, retired pro is surely underrated.  This has to be the best job in the world.  Getting paid to make amateurs look amateur.  I couldn’t tell if Frank got his wheel…

  27. VSP PICKS:

    1. Cancellara
    2. Chavanel
    3. Boom
    4. Stannard
    5. Roelandts

  28. VSP PICKS:

    1. Fab
    2. Terp
    3. Roelandts
    4. Hayman
    5. Degenkolb

  29. That was a great video – You can never really tell how fast the Pros are going (especially on tv) as there is no point of reference.  On THAT video, though – you got a real good sense.

    VSP PICKS:

    1. Swiss Motorbike
    2. Phabulous Phinney
    3. Kristoff
    4. Chivalrous Chavanel
    5. Rouleur Roelandts

  30. @Ron

     

    #2 – What the fuck do you want, Grandpa Phil & Diamond Paul? I like both Harmon & King. You try to “call” a race that is 4 hours of nothing, then a sprint finish. Harmon called the Ronde on Sunday & then was off to Spain the very next day. I think that guy works his arse off & it might seem glamorous, but I bet it’s hard damn work, lots of nights in hotels living out of a suitcase.

    I like Harmon as well, much moreso than Phil and Paul.  That said, I’m not sure what the fuck NBC Sports is doing this year, but they haven’t had a decent commentating pair on a broadcast as of yet.

    VSP PICKS:

    1. Cancellara
    2. Boom
    3. Phinney
    4. Chavanel
    5. Stannard

  32. Phil + Paul suck ball(s) big time, too close to COTHO to be objective.

    Harmon + Sean are awesome – if you can understand them

  33. Change of heart……

    VSP PICKS:

    1. Faboo
    2. Chavanel
    3. Roelandts
    4. Phinney
    5. Stannard

  34. Because I don’t know any better.

    VSP PICKS:

    1. Cancellara
    2. Vansummeren
    3. Greipel
    4. Stannard
    5. Phinney

  36. Buck  – I’m just excited about Sunday. No harm intended, just speaking (writing) my mind.

    VeloVita – Haven’t heard any NBC broadcasts lately but I do recall they have two dudes who seem like surfers to me, which is cool, but it’s distracting during cycle racing.

  39. Almost certainly mad not to back Cancellara but going for a hail mary…

    Won’t be able to watch the race unfortunately. I’ll be camping with the family in Musandam, the Norway of the Gulf.

    VSP PICKS:

    1. Chavanel
    2. Roelandts
    3. Phinney
    4. Kristoff
    5. Haussler

  40. VSP PICKS:

    1. Cancellara
    2. Phinney
    3. Van Avermaet
    4. Boassen Hagen
    5. Boom

  41. A slight adjustment.  Can’t wait for race day!

    VSP PICKS:

    1. Johann Van Sommeren
    2. Greg van Avermaet
    3. Edvald Boassen Hagen
    4. Tyler Phinney
    5. John Degenkolb

  44. VSP PICKS:

    1. Cancellara
    2. Phinney
    3. Chavanel
    4. Degenkolb
    5. Greipel

  45. VSP PICKS:

    1. Roelandts
    2. Chavanel
    3. Phinney
    4. Turgot
    5. Degenkolb

  47. VSP PICKS:

    1. F. Cancellara
    2. Boasson Hagen
    3. Sylvain Chavanel
    4. Sébastien Turgot
    5. Andre Greipel

  48. No one has a team strong enough to stop Fab.

    VSP PICKS:

    1. Spartacus
    2. Mini Phinney
    3. Boss Hogg
    4. Chavanel
    5. Stannard

  49. VSP PICKS:

    1. Cancellara
    2. Roelandts
    3. Phinney
    4. Turgot
    5. Van Summeren

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