Velominati Super Prestige: Paris-Roubaix 2013

Faboo after dishing out the hurt on Le Carrefour de l'Arbre" src="http://www.velominati.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/04/photo-1-620x465.jpg" width="620" height="465" /> The Lion cooks up a helping of V-cakes for Faboo after dishing out the hurt on Le Carrefour

It looks so easy on the television. Well, no, actually it looks pretty bloody hard. We think we have some understanding of how they suffer, how their bodies can take the continual beating. But we don’t really know. Not even by riding these abominations they call roads twice in the space of a few days can we understand the scale of the thing. Not even by witnessing firsthand a master of the cobbles effortlessly turning the cranks, cruising past us as if on a cushion of air by comparison to our bed of nails can we fully comprehend what it takes to ride these secteurs with any panache, style or speed.

While we witnessed a Roubaix masterclass from The Lion himself today, a new name could be added alongside his on the long list of legends on Sunday. Or it could be a former vainquer adding to an already impressive palmares. But as we’ve seen in the past, and even the past hours, luck plays as big a part as skill, talent and fitness in this most beautifully horrible race. And it plays an even bigger part in picking the top five in the VSP.

All you have to do is sit back and enjoy the spectacle. We’ll be doing the hard yards at the side of the roads of Troisvilles, the Troueé, and the Carrefour. Study the form guide, then throw it out. It’s no good to you here.

In the meantime here’s a look at a bunch of nobodies and a guru riding a secteur on today’s recon. The lesson comes at around 0.15.

[vsp_results id=”22968″/]

Brett

Don't blame me

View Comments

  • @Ron

    @Buck Rogers

    @Mirko

    In addition to my VSP picks, I predict that David Harmon will mispronounce every name you could possibly mispronounce and that Sean Kelly will not laugh at a single one of his jokes.

    Ha! Nice!

    #1 - I'm not going to complain when I get to watch any race I want for free, often with a Eurosport feed.

    #2 - What the fuck do you want, Grandpa Phil & Diamond Paul? I like both Harmon & King. You try to "call" a race that is 4 hours of nothing, then a sprint finish. Harmon called the Ronde on Sunday & then was off to Spain the very next day. I think that guy works his arse off & it might seem glamorous, but I bet it's hard damn work, lots of nights in hotels living out of a suitcase.

    King Kelly doesn't laugh because he's still thinking about all the Guns he could rip off with ease.

    Damn, man, didn't realize you felt so strongly about it!  I just thought is was a funny ass comment (which it is!)  Bring on SUNDAY, BABY!!!

  • VSP PICKS:

    1. chavanel
    2. cancellara
    3. roleandts
    4. vansummeren
    5. ladagnous

  • Sky will make a play but ultimately faboo will break and crush all comers!

    VSP PICKS:

    1. Faboo
    2. Boss hog
    3. Roelandts
    4. Van avaermert
    5. Stannard

  • @Gianni

    @ChrisO

    @Beers

    Oh yes, it was Frank. You can almost see the thought bubble above his head after Museeuw goes by...

    What the fuck? Museeuw? It's go time old man, the monkey is on your ass...

    If pro cyclist is an over romanced occupation, retired pro is surely underrated.  This has to be the best job in the world.  Getting paid to make amateurs look amateur.  I couldn't tell if Frank got his wheel...

  • That was a great video - You can never really tell how fast the Pros are going (especially on tv) as there is no point of reference.  On THAT video, though - you got a real good sense.

    VSP PICKS:

    1. Swiss Motorbike
    2. Phabulous Phinney
    3. Kristoff
    4. Chivalrous Chavanel
    5. Rouleur Roelandts

  • @Ron

     

    #2 - What the fuck do you want, Grandpa Phil & Diamond Paul? I like both Harmon & King. You try to "call" a race that is 4 hours of nothing, then a sprint finish. Harmon called the Ronde on Sunday & then was off to Spain the very next day. I think that guy works his arse off & it might seem glamorous, but I bet it's hard damn work, lots of nights in hotels living out of a suitcase.

    I like Harmon as well, much moreso than Phil and Paul.  That said, I'm not sure what the fuck NBC Sports is doing this year, but they haven't had a decent commentating pair on a broadcast as of yet.

    VSP PICKS:

    1. Cancellara
    2. Boom
    3. Phinney
    4. Chavanel
    5. Stannard

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